Underwear not mine

[PeppyBlueFinches]

I am looking for some advice about what to do now please, as something doesn't make any sense. About a month ago I found a pair of knickers that weren't my size. I had managed to wash and dry them without noticing, it was only when I went to put them in the drawer that I noticed they weren't mine. Not my size. At the time I assumed that they had been my son's girlfriend's and that they had been somehow mixed up with his stuff. My son and his girlfriend had recently returned from a holiday so it seemed likely that is what had happened. I mentioned to DH that I had found a pair of knickers which I assume were her's.

I was waiting to see my son's girlfriend to ask her if they were her's. In the meantime, I had put them in my underwear drawer. She hasn't been round since then although I have seen her away from the house but I forgot to ask her if she had lost some underwear.

This weekend, I went away without DH. Putting away the washing today I notice that those knickers are nowhere to be seen in my underwear drawer.

There is categorically zero chance of my son going into my underwear drawer. I hadn't even told him about the knickers. The only other person who could have taken them is DH but then wouldn't that be a stupid thing to do as I had told him that I had seen them? What do I do now?

I had similar things that happened. Eventually found out that my husband (ex now) was a transvestite.
I wish I'd asked him directly years and years before I found out.

DS and DH do not have that sort of relationship where he would say to his dad that his GF had lost some knickers and did he know where they were. Also, I hadn't told DH that I had put them in my drawer and I think he might had struggled to identify them. Even if DS had asked DH, DH would have just said wait for mum to get home and she'll find them.

Could your sons gf been round while you were away or asked your son to retrieve them, if not have another good look, the only other person would by your h .any chance your h is having an affair and the knicker owner came round when you were away. What did he say at the beginning. Did you tell him you'd put them in your drawer. Would he know which ones weren't yours,

GF hasn't been round since I found them. She would ask me anyway, if she asked DS there's no way he would go into my drawer.
When I said something like, 'I've found a pair of knickers that aren't mine, they must be (DS girlfriend's)' I don't think he actually said anything. I can't remember what his reaction was. I said it in passing because I had assumed they would belong to her.
My point is, because he knows that I had seen them, wouldn't it be foolish to then get rid of them?

I think you need to ask your son's gf if she lost them/retrieved them...
If she says yes, fine mystery solved.
If she says no, then your DH got rid of them and you would need to question why.

How's your marriage, any suspicions he's having a woman round, is he the type to gaslight you.

Could you ask your DH if he took the knickers out your drawer?

Do you trust your DH? Do you think he could be cheating? Has he cheated before? What's his phone usage like? is he secretive? Has anything changed? What's your sex life like?

Sorry for the questions but if you want advice as to what we think then we'll need a bit more information!

With these kinds of posts there tends to be a bit of a drip feed which at some point makes the answer glaringly obvious!

You said OP that when these knickers disappeared from your drawer it was during a weekend you were away without your DH.
When you actually discovered the knickers a month or so ago was it just after you had been on a weekend away without DH?

So unless your mistaken its likely your dh took them and has either returned them or kept them .

You need to speak to him.

This sounds like there could be a reasonable explanation. First thought was like a pp said, your ds gf asked him to retrieve them from the drawer...maybe they were embarrassed to ask you

Would they fit dh or the gf?

It would be an odd thing for your DH to do, to remove the pants when he knows you know they were there 🫤 I would just ask him if he's moved them and watch his reaction very closely. Do you think he might have another woman? Is there anything else that seems suspicious?

Just have it out with your husband.

'Derek, those knickers that I said weren't mine have now disappeared. What have you done with them?'

Could DH just put them in sons room as not to wait for you to embarrass them or DH has a bit on the side, is that possible?

Or secretly belong to DH
Has washing been hung up in the garden and blew over from next door, and DH put them sons room, now son has the problem.
DH recognises them from next door and chucked them back over the fence.

You just forgot your hiding place, and DH hasn't touched them.

So many possibilities, you'll have to ask DH

Gosh... intreaguing!

Your DH was the only person you told about them. He must have taken them as no one else knew. He has gone looking for them and obviously knew exactly what they looked like - either because he's a cross dresser or because he's having an affair.

Just ask Derek

😂

Oh fuck I don't know op, it doesn't look good

You need to chat to the GF.

But they she might get suspicious of your DS, so.... hmmm. Tough one

If an affair then whose are they? His lovers?!

^

Er, yes?