Underwear not mine

[PeppyBlueFinches]

I am looking for some advice about what to do now please, as something doesn't make any sense. About a month ago I found a pair of knickers that weren't my size. I had managed to wash and dry them without noticing, it was only when I went to put them in the drawer that I noticed they weren't mine. Not my size. At the time I assumed that they had been my son's girlfriend's and that they had been somehow mixed up with his stuff. My son and his girlfriend had recently returned from a holiday so it seemed likely that is what had happened. I mentioned to DH that I had found a pair of knickers which I assume were her's.

I was waiting to see my son's girlfriend to ask her if they were her's. In the meantime, I had put them in my underwear drawer. She hasn't been round since then although I have seen her away from the house but I forgot to ask her if she had lost some underwear.

This weekend, I went away without DH. Putting away the washing today I notice that those knickers are nowhere to be seen in my underwear drawer.

There is categorically zero chance of my son going into my underwear drawer. I hadn't even told him about the knickers. The only other person who could have taken them is DH but then wouldn't that be a stupid thing to do as I had told him that I had seen them? What do I do now?

Isn’t it that he keeps them to sniff?

Could they be your son's?

Or maybe they are his girlfriend's, and she asked him to look for them.

I was also going to say a cat or dog may have brought a neighbour's pants in, but then that doesn't explain them vanishing from the drawer.

Maybe the OW deliberately planted a pair of her knickers in the husband's jeans pocket (or in their laundry basket, if she's been to the house) in order to bring the affair to the attention of the OP and bring the whole thing to a head. Hoping that the OP would chuck him out for his infidelity and she, the OW, would finally have him to herself.

Or maybe he's a transvestite.

The fact that he's taken the knickers/ evidence suggests he's guilty of something.

I don't feel it's the son. What son would go rooting around in his mum's knicker drawer.

OP, I'd sit your husband down opposite you - face to face - and say to him (straight out without breaking eye contact) 'The random pair of knickers I told you about have been taken'.

Watch his face and body language. See if his breathing quickens or if he looks panicked. If he gets affronted and defensive I'd be hearing alarm bells.

And if he starts moving around nervously, he could be wearing them!

🤣🤣🤣

Also some men have kleptomaniac tendencies in lingerie stores. It’s an actual thing. And other have them to arouse them: wanky panty or something it’s called.

Well unlikely to be really … unless he has customised with a pouch.

The Smelly Knicker Story.

I don't mean to be cheeky but maybe they belong to your DH in that he wears them himself?

If OP didn't notice they weren't hers straight away, how are DH or DS going to identify them just by looking in the drawer? They'd have to go through each one to check the size on the label. Are you sure you didn't accidentally wear them OP and now they're back in the laundry basket?

Ah sorry I missed this update earlier.

I wonder if he got rid of them because he didn’t want you to show them and have her say no they aren’t mine.

How strange and must be so annoying for you. But as the 'evidence' has gone you only have your word to go on and your DH or son can just say they have no idea what you're talking about until you start believing them and eventually assume you've gone mad lol.

I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation to it:

(a) Would the knickers have fitted your husband as perhaps he is wearing them? Or do you think he would bought something more lacy and frilly in red satin?

(b) Have you asked around the neighbourhood to see if anyone has had any washing stolen from the line? Do you have a cat? I read about a woman who had amassed hundreds of gloves because her cat was stealing them from a nearby construction site. The cat knew she used gloves to garden and was leaving her a gift. Perhaps your cat has seen you in your knickers and doesn't like them. Maybe next time look long and hard. Perhaps they don't suit you at all!

(c) Ask yourself what Agatha Christie would have done to solve this mystery? Do you know any Colonels? Did you detect the faint odour of almonds? Were there enigmatic words on them like 'Rosemary for Remembrance' or 'Primark'?

Yes op you’ve been quite low on detail with these dainties.

Were they at least a brand you buy?

Were they a colour you buy?

Style?

If yes to all of any of the above, how do you know they aren’t yours? Size seems not enough of a difference. It could easily be erroneously grabbed by you off the shelf. I’ve done this before and realised at the till.

And what were they LIKE? Would they be the utilitarian type an OW might flick off and under the bed to don something more seductive? Then go home in them? Or what?

He will gaslight you and say he has no idea what you're talking about, you must have dreamt it etc

Exactly there is no physical evidence now.

Excellent gaslighting material, don't you know now op, they never existed, they are all in your imagination.
And he will deny the conversation you had about them too.

Pooof gone.

You crazy girl, imagining pants.

Loads of men wear womens underwear, it's a common fetish.

But are they really the right “ size”? Doesn’t it all get quite mooooshed?

What type of knickers are they? Just regular M&S every day knickers or something a bit fancier?

I’m assuming they are similar to ones you already own if the only way you noticed they weren’t yours is by the size when folding and putting them away. If that’s the case then I think you have just simply accidentally bought the wrong size in the past and not noticed till now.

They'd wear the same waist size. Underwear is quite stretchy, they're not worn for support or comfort

Exactly. If you showed them to GF and she said they weren't hers, then that's a lot stronger than if you described them to her and she said they weren't hers (because you could be gaslit into thinking maybe you were misremembering the size, colour, brand, etc.)

I hope the mystery is solved and OP returns to tell us.