Stingy restaurant behaviour has given me the ick

[HazelSchmazel]

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

Be honest with him. Against all odds he might learn something

Total ick. So stingy

It’s totally normal to tip in a restaurant in the U.K. You’re just cheap.

What a tool!

Do you work in the service industry @S0livagant ? I know lots of people who do and they always tip properly and go to annoying lengths not to be a bother.

Tipping in restaurants is standard really

But surely the tipping issue isn't relevant here?

I wanted to leave a £5 tip, which was my choice. Even if he didn't wish to leave a tip, he should still have paid his £25 share, with my £5 tip going to the waiter.

Instead he paid £20, effectively taking the waiter's tip for himself.

Jesus Christ, @S0livagant i bet you never dared suggest an innocent misunderstanding since you have now basically been subjected to a pile on, been told people feel sorry for you and told to answer why you are so desperate to defend this man. What a fun afternoon for everyone, mumsnet at its finest

Ewwwwww

I would respond something like

"Yes we had the same dish so the bill was 50/50 however we aren't compatible tipping good service & food and paying our own way"

I lollled and the fanny slapping shut 😂😂😂

I HEAR YOU.

Unfortunately I am experiencing this with my long term partner 😩

He's been in a financial hole for a while and it's seriously turning me OFF. Comments such as....

"Just transfer me your half"

"Don't really wanna spend the money"

"It's a rip off" (talking about the 18p increase on a block of cheese)

I know it sounds shallow but I also hear my fanny slamming shut every single time.

I LONGGGG to feel spoilt,

Wow!

Do tell him the truth.

I'm old fashioned...I'd have been unimpressed enough about going 50/50

@Comedycook me too!!! Old fashioned al the way

I pay the agreed price for services.

Oooh, tell us what you reply @HazelSchmazel !

I'm going to take the cowards' way out and ghost .......

Yes it is expected in the UK

I've always worked hard for nmw or close to it.

Get real!

To be honest someone not tipping would give me the ick, this guy didn't tip and used some of the OPs money to pay for his dinner. Double ick.

But wouldn’t you then say something along the lines of “oh you’ve over paid, shall we get change or I can owe you a drink?” or something like that- surely no one would just presume the other person wants to give them a fiver and not even mention it?

So funny 😂 😂

I hear you. The topic is really nuanced and not that black and white.

https://www.eater.com/a/case-against-tipping

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackkelly/2023/08/01/tipflation-americans-think-tipping-culture-is-out-of-control-and-employees-should-be-paid-more/

Medium · Simon Fung10+ likes · 9 years ago6 reasons why tipping is bad and stupid | by Simon Fung - Medium

‘It’s very arbitrary who we tip and who we don’t. Yes, waiters work very hard. But so do people working at McDonald’s. So do the chefs. So does the guy bringing you shoes for 2 hours at Foot Locker (yes, he probably gets commission, but you don’t get to control the amount, so it’s not tipping). So does the nurse who empties out patients’ bedpans every morning. Why don’t we tip them?’

(A quote From the last link)

TDLR: it’s nuanced but I don’t think we should be importing Americas tipping culture over here anymore and most Americans I know agree.

Uuurrgh - that sounds dreadful!

I just don't understand how these men don't realise how revoltingly unattractive their meaness makes them.

I find that stingy too. I properly laughed when I read your post though - you have a way with words! I needed that 😂
I hate not tipping. I have a small basket of change in my hallway in case I get a takeout and there’s no change for a tip. I always tip in restaurants.