Stingy restaurant behaviour has given me the ick

[HazelSchmazel]

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

I can barely breath for laughing! 😂

Tbf I have less of an issue with the not tipping thing unless you’re in America where servers are getting paid less than MW and rely on tips.

However if I’d only met someone twice and they put in £30 cash towards a £50 bill, I’d have suggested £25 on my card out of fairness to the friend/date. Especially if it was someone I didn’t have an established relationship with.

Absolutely the best line

Tight bastard..I bet he only breathes in

I think the whole scenario is grim and there is no excuse for it. I’m sorry for anyone who feels like standing up for this man. But someone preoccupied by money will have already known what his share of the bill was and was happy to get OP to pay a £5 towards his meal.
If I’m going for a meal under any circumstances I make sure I have enough to cover it plus a tip. I would never expect anyone to pay a £ towards it and if I can’t afford it I don’t go.
He’s a classic door-hinge. And they are never, ever short of money.

My friend went on a date once with someone who suggested they did a runner before the bill came. She paid the full bill and left him in the restaurant. Utter twat.

Not a boyfriend, but my uncle - asking if we wanted him to get us a takeaway while he was visiting, but not telling us he wanted paying back until he brought it to us. We would have gladly given him the money up front if he’d asked beforehand, but he made it sound like he was going to treat us (he is loaded. And grabby as fuck).
There’s a lot more, but I don’t want to be too outing.

But in that case surely he should have just put £25 on his card, and let her take £5 change, rather than assume she wants to pay extra for his meal x

What an arsehole he was. Good riddance.

I see where you are coming from with not having an established relationship. My friends and family and I would often put in more without saying anything if we knew a friend was struggling with money but had still come out with us. Or if everyone paid cash to one person to put it on their credit card it would be fine that they ended up paying less. It wouldn't be assumed it was a tip.

Likewise someone whose default position was to pay less than me and expect me to subsidise him. Fuck that.

I went on a date with a man who picked a very expensive restaurant, wouldn’t let me order he decided he would order for me and choose a very expensive wine. I told him I wasn’t eating much a starter would be fine for me as I had taken clients out for a big late lunch.

Anyway mountains of food left over… most the bottle of wine and when the bill came he asked me to split it. I was shocked because I hadn’t ordered any of the food nor eaten it. I paid half and then we went to bar (I was waiting for friends but should have just left him at the restaurant in hindsight) and we both ordered a drink. He said again shall we split it and I said no, I paid the tab in full myself and left him and the drinks.

It was the biggest turn off. He text me the next day to ask if I wanted to go to the theatre with him and I replied “so you can choose a show I don’t want to see and I’ll pay for it? No thanks.”

But why didn't he pay what HE owed? And why are you defending him so much? He stole £5 from OP! And didn't pay for his full meal. That is not normal behaviour.

Are you normally this desperate for any male attention that you’re willing to lower yourself to such an extent and defend the indefensible?

Seriously love, you need to get yourself a big dollop of self esteem and stop allowing others to walk all over you.

But an arsehole!

Well I don't date men. I don't see an issue with making it even next time. I'd likely do the same myself but say 'I owe you a drink' to make it clear.

But he didn’t

Same here! 😂

He didn’t though, he paid less tha OP did 😕

Except that he has just messaged to ask me on a third date.

In his message, he commented on the fact that we ordered the same dish in the restaurant (hence my certainty that the bill was 50/50) and said that it must be a sign of how compatible we are.

Honestly - you just couldn't make it up!

It's is very unusual not to tip even in the UK. I hope you are tipping.

Why wouldn’t he just pay his share then and let her collect her change?? He didn’t know there would be a next time so it’s very presumptuous even if he didn’t realise she was tipping.

OP this would have sent me running for the hills too!

Yeah and I think in those cases usually the person who has been subsidised will offer to pay an equal contribution or say something like “oh I owe you £5” and in both instances to which the other person usually says “no it’s fine” 😁 or he could at least have said thanks for paying extra!

Yea when it’s a big group paying to one person the one with the card always ends up better off which I guess is their reward for sticking it all on their card 😆

re. Tipping I’m with you there - I’ve worked in retail and call centre getting minimum wage, no tips and I’ve worked in hospitality getting minimum wage, tips and free/ reduced food and drinks! Not everyone who eats out is going to be better off than the waiters. It’s not America - tip if you want to. And tipping culture even over there is problematic and many people are getting sick of it now that its spread to even counter service and people over there are wishing companies would just pay more.

But @S0livagant that assumes there will be another date. I'm so glad I'm too old for this shit, 30 years plus with the same man and if anything happens to him, well, I won't be looking to replace him.