Stingy restaurant behaviour has given me the ick

[HazelSchmazel]

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

Goodbye 👋🏼 sorry a guy tight with money is a complete turn off

That’s probably because you’re quite well off. Not everybody is.

I’m not well off at all. Long term single, earn not much more than national average salary and my eating out tends to be local pubs not pricey restaurants but it’s still the norm in the UK to leave a small tip regardless

In case it hasn't been said... just ask if there is a service charge in with the bill. Tip if there isn't, and tip generously. Remember the people serving you are generally minimum wage earners.

How have you missed the numerous points on this thread - and every other thread about tipping - that many people are on minimum wage? Banging on about tipping and generously is just tone deaf. For all the minimum wage earners out there just stop it. Servers are not more deserving of tips than any other service provider.

I tip almost everyone, waiting staff, taxi drivers, parcel delivery staff, removal men, hairdresser etc. etc. Not everyone accepts a tip admittedly. I am on minimum wage. My generous tip might be less than you have assumed it to be.

I agree, it's genuinely 🙄 how some of us on minimum wage are deemed "worthy" of a tip but others aren't.
It just doesn't make sense anymore in the UK to tip, it's just an outdated tradition that doesn't translate to today.

I should have also said that I am fairly new here, but thanks for the warm welcome nonetheless.

Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

That is absolute poetry! Magnificent. I love it.

I'm a little late to the party with my ick date story but here goes.
I matched with Mr X last year on a dating site and agreed to go on a coffee date after a few weeks of chatting . I was travelling by train and we were to meet at the train station and walk to a near by coffee shop.I arrived and he was no where to be seen ...or so I thought .I checked my phone and he had messaged me saying he was there and had I just walked past wearing xyz.Yes I had walked right past him ,he looked nothing like his photo .At that point I should had got back on the train but I had an hour wait and my "date " was standing in front of me and I thought well I'm here now .
We walked to the nearest coffee shop and he offered to get the coffees in .My second warning flag popped up when I saw that he had paid for the coffees with a loyalty card .After a very quick drink we agreed to have a walk around as I'd never been to that area before.A while later as the sun was getting hotter and I was getting a little thirsty Mr x asked if I wanted to go somewhere for a cold drink .Great I thought as he had pointed out all of the pubs in the town as part of his guided tour .Looking forward to a brief break from the sun ,a sit down and a cold drink.Imagine my disappointment when he walked into Iceland and showed me the cans on top of the freezers.Having picked up a couple of drinks and a box of icelollies he walked over to the tills.I followed and he left me to pay as he walked off .
Needless to say after that I declined his offer of a second date and never went back to his home town again .

I agree and it annoys me that the prices on the menu aren’t really the prices. They are the prices plus ten percent. Just put your actual prices on the menu and drop the service charge.

So when women don't pay at all that's okay but him paying a fiver less isn't?

Actually I would find frugality attractive if it was packaged in the right way.

Using a loyalty card - definitely attractive. I would be mildly irritated if I found out later that someone had a loyalty card they hadn't used in order to 'impress me'.

Going to Iceland for cold drinks - hmmm. I would rather he pointed out the features of sitting by the (eg) river*, and bought his drinks from Poundland, where they are at least in a chiller. The only thing I don't like about this purchase is that the drinks came from the shelf rather than being chilled. Adding ice lollies - a good idea, but not sufficient to make up for the warm drinks.

Expecting me to pay for said drinks - well, yes, it was my turn since he bought the coffees (which were, after all, the more expensive item).

Tbh the loyalty card wouldn’t bother me as I might do the same but everything after that no no no no no

Some people are quite rude here but I agree with PP - your comment was just silly. People need to stop preaching and shaming people into tipping. If they've paid for their meal, that's good enough.

Being new doesn't protect you from being called out on a silly comment.

I have never said women paying nothing is ok. Why are you putting words into my mouth?

There's also a big difference between one person deciding to pay for someone else, and and agreement to go halves which then results in someone stealing £5 from the other person.

This is so small minded.

Had you read the bill thoroughly? Are you certain service wasn't already included? I made this mistake only last weekend, went to pay by card, told the waitress to round the total up as a tip, only to have her point out that 12.5% was already included. Should have given you your fiver back in that case though

’Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.’
This line has given me and my husband the biggest laugh for a long time, thank you! We are literally crying with laughter. It’s just the perfect way to put it!

So being 'quite new' you jump into a thread bullishly telling everybody that they must tip and tip generously. You must be completely unaware of the cost of living crisis (which isn't news) and there's no dawning realisation that not everybody can or wants to 'tip generously'?

If you go around scattering your shrapnel change or 'notes for effect' then crack on, lady bountiful, nobody cares. Stop telling others that they must, or be prepared to receive comments back.

Oh and, "Welcome"...

I've long thought tipping is outdated. I haven't tipped a hair stylist in decades and only contribute to tipping in restaurants if my companions want to - though there's mostly a service charge anyway (not that there should be, I suppose). I also think it's patronising and awkward in the sense of, how much is enough.

However, the only time I had a job as a server was many years ago at a holiday resort where servers were paid LESS than the rest of the staff as the tips were considered to make up the difference. (They did, and sometimes exceeded it, to be fair, but I still think it's wrong.)

I would have said it included a £5 tip.

There are a lot of women out there who talk about being "old fashioned" about who pays. Roughly translates to they never pay.

I’d feel the same. Even when I’m dining with girlfriends we take it in turns to pay. I just find going halves unattractive.

Found OPs sad date..