Stingy restaurant behaviour has given me the ick

[HazelSchmazel]

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

Aaaah sweetheart - you're overthinking. If he's a nice person and he likes you, then he certainly won't be thinking that you are being desperate - he will just be delighted to be on a date with you and flattered that you paid. So go with the flow and enjoy yourself. But maybe split the tabs going forward until you can be absolutely sure that he is a decent guy and not out to use you financially.

This!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

But if the bill came to £50, he should’ve been putting in £25 anyway not 20?

Agreed 🤣🤣🤣

I agree. If the man insists on paying then I’ll graciously accept and thank him.

And definitely offer to pay next time.

It’s a very nice gesture if they do pay but it shouldn’t be an expectation. I can’t imagine being so bloody rude and entitled to sit there when bill arrives and not even get your card/cash out - that goes for both sexes.

Don’t ghost him but tell
him as there’s also loads of posts on here about men ghosting women and it’s just rude. A polite no thanks will suffice rather than making out you’re really busy etc.

It is absolutely not "just as normal" not to tip, what on earth!

No, it really isn’t!
It’s not ‘expected’ like it is in the US, but it’s totally normal to tip if the service has been good.

Anyway. Bullet dodged, OP!

It is expected. We just tip less than in America. In the UK we tend to tip 5 to 10% or if we are feeling a bit tight round up to the nearest note such as if a bill is £27.50 you'll pay £30 etc.

What he should have done is put £25 on his card. The waiter should have given you £5 change & then you should have left the change on the table.

I had a tight wad experience once. Met in a pub on a Sunday afternoon.
He said he was getting a coffee, I said I'll have one too. He then said he would go to the bar to order. I said OK. He went to the bar and ordered himself a coffee, paid and sat down, then told me I could go up and order now..
Which I did, while contemplating my escape.
He then went on to tell me how he loved spending weekends in book shops because he could sit and read for free for hours. And then showed me his Helly Hansen rain jacket and started banging on about how expensive it was..
I faked illness and left quickly.

Not me but a friend went on a first date at a pub that does food. Her date looked at menu and said ‘oh I didn’t think it would cost this much’ - it was normal pub food prices !! So she said ‘don’t worry I’ll pay for mine’ and he replied ‘I’ve only got a tenner’

Who the fuck turns up on a first date with a tenner???

So she said would you like a walk instead and we can find a cafe for coffee? So they start walking and he spots a Greggs and says to her ‘shall we get a sausage roll and sit in the bench?’

At this point she just said ‘let’s call this off’ and went back to the pub for a solo glass of wine

Don’t agree if she did not say the £5 was for the tip, then how would he have known that?  If someone slam £30 on a bill for the table, I would assume that it’s going toward the bill . He’s not psychic
Not everybody tips, I certainly don’t if I’m paying service charge already . I’m not tipping twice .

Why would you just assume that someone wants to pay £5 towards your meal??

You ate it, you pay for it.

Doesnt matter what someone else has put down

This

Agree. In his position I’d have presumed she didn’t have change and ask if she wanted a fiver back.

Im absolutely someone who always offers to split but to see the hoops being jumped though to depend a CF bloke is just breathtaking

@NotSureWhatUsernameToChoose he assumed because she put the money on the table without mentioning a tip. Usually when people eat out together, they all discuss how much tip they are going to leave like normal people do
seeing as she did not mention a tip- not even once -then he assumed that the money was for the bill. Some people do put a little bit extra toward the bill- I do ! And if part of that is a tip, id always mention it, I don’t expect the other person to read my mind
her date may have not thought the service warranted a tip, or maybe he did not leave a tip because they paid service charge which is normally put on the bill anyway
Point is, if she didn’t say, then he wouldn’t know and I guarantee if she was to ask him he would say the same thing .
She’s assuming he is tight without even discussing it. all this for a fiver 😂

Someone I went to university did this, she'd lay on her credit card and pocket the money🙄 leaving no tips - I still know her a bit and she's never changed that kind of entitlement - even now 20 plus years later it still makes me cross

Hi OP's date...

I'm still enjoying this thread to see the mean people who would obviously/have obviously done similar try and justify themselves. Special type of person. And, having served the likes of you over the years, nearly always the rudest and most demanding of customers.

I just want you all to know that waiting staff have marked you out as soon as you are seated, you are all the same type. Everyone talks about you behind your back and rolls their eyes. When doing one of those whole team lunches at work everyone will chat about how you will be a pain in the arse about the bill. You ruin group gifting. You really are just one of those grey clouds settling on an enthusiastic occasion.

I mean you don't even realise how ridiculous you sound with your... How on earth was he supposed to not realise that she wanted to pay an extra fiver towards his meal. Not a mind reader🙄 aye awright.

This sort of behaviour is always condemned when it is in the context of a work meal out or a meal with friends, and one person pockets all the cash including any tips, then pays for the meal on their card and keeps the tips.

Why is it all of a sudden acceptable when it is done on a date?

😂😂😂

Well my experience , to me, was funny. Because the guy I went out with was someone that I had known afew weeks and was ( I thought) madly in Love with. It was quite a few years ago and bear in mind this guy was an entrepeneur and borderline millionare. We went for lunch at a popular place near me and they were( commonly at the time) advertising LUNCH FOR 2 = £5..
Anyway, he had to leave shortly after for a business meeting but walked me to my door, near the restaurant, before he went he gave me a peck on the cheek on the doorstep and said " You Owe Me one.".......As I said I was madly in Love So It did not sway me but I thought how funny to be so miserly fir Five Quid when youre a Millionare.....but Ive sinse heard it a good way to become wealthy :WORK HARD but NEVER SPEND ANY MONEY.

Awful. Some people so tight. They dont change. My friend would sit over pot of tea for hours .. rather than just buy a bun or something else.

My exh never paid for anything whenever we went out. I ltb eventually.. His OLD profile said he drive a Mercedes... So I was told after I threw him out.
It was the work's van!!. That next poor woman was all set for disappointments... Though she would have got some nice perfume he had gotten me... From a catalogue he text me I had to pay for!! I didn't..