Stingy restaurant behaviour has given me the ick

[HazelSchmazel]

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

Aaaaaah - if only we had the luxury of a Trip Advisor (Shit Advisor?) for potential dating partners ........

Yes, women, as a group, earn less then men but plenty of women can afford to pay their half. It is NOT the 1950's.
The "beauty tax". Oh please. That is entirely optional.

"Tons more time getting ready". Again, oh please.
These arguments are so 1950's it makes me embarrassed.
Pay your share. If you can't afford it, make it clear from the outset. It's just maths.

Hogwash. Pay your share.

So you expect a man to pay for your make up and taxi? Staggering.

The op did pay her share.

It was him who didn't

But why are you so convinced that he's a tight arse? People are merely pointing out other possibilities.

This is not making excuses. This is called not jumping to conclusions. I can see myself doing the same as he did (I'm a woman) and I am in no way a tight arse. It's $5 FFS.

Oh dear - the angry incels are back

Do you mean the ones who are convinced all women are after them for their money despite the fact there are no women after them and they don't have any money anyway?! 😂

Women as a group earn less? Really? I earned more than my ex. Similar roles but I was the one earning more.

OP I would have gotten the ick too. Now moreso considering my recent ex touted himself as generous. If I was to tot up what each of us spent in our relationship I would have considerably paid more and time and again I remember a day out or night out and I would have been almost conned out of paying too. If it walks like a duck and all that. Being stingy is a bugbear of mine. If you cannot afford something then fine tell me but do not pull a cheapskate stunt like this.

OMG!!! Now THAT is a tight bastard at best. No other possibility.

Got it in one @Comedycook

@Comedycook gas cos my ex tells people I wanted him for his CAR. Yes he did drive a flash car. A company bloody car. They really do walk amongst us and believe their own hype.

The "beauty tax". Oh please. That is entirely optional

Ever tried to get a ladies' haircut for the same price as a mans' @NonsuchCastle ?

No - didn't think so

Unbelievable arrogance and self delusion!

@HazelSchmazel oh i have further stories but I have put the cork back in the bottle for now hhaa

Shame - I would love to hear your stories! x

Errrrrrr - I never said that .....

Your righteous indignation at women wishing to keep themselves safe from sexual assault (such audacity - how very dare they) is clearly impairing your comprehension skills

I was not addressing the OP.

Yes. I go to a barber and he does a lovely bob for me. Back to the 50's with you.

It may be constructive if the Andrew Tate wanabees on here could remove their misogynistic goggles and actually read my post.

I said that it would be nice if a man offered to pay for a date. I didn't state whether or not I would accept.

I'm sure that they would also find it nice if a woman offered to pay.

In the real world, I always offer to pay half.

Oh - and incidentally, I am perfectly aware that there are plenty of individual cases where women outearn men. But I am referring to the situation on a population level.

Yes. You go to a barber because you're a man

Um is it weird that we split on our first dinner and the second time I paid and said he could pick up the next one? He bought all drinks after…. I feel torn between it being a nice thing to do that throws outdated gender norms out the window vs maybe he saw it as a desperate attempt to get him to like me? Wish we’d just split now

I don’t do dinner dates early on. I can’t think of anything worse than being sat opposite a relative stranger with food interrupting the flow of conversation and if you’re not feeling it you’re stuck for a course or two.

Prefer a couple of drinks. My experience seems to be the man always offers the first drink - only time he didn’t was suited and booted twat I posted about earlier. I’ll always offer the next drink - most men say no they’ll get it but I insist. I don’t think it’s right to send him back up the bar when he got the first one tbh.

I’ve only had one dinner date since being single again and he paid the whole bill then told me it was his company credit card and he would claim it back on expenses which he seemed to think was hilarious 🤷‍♀️

OMG!!!! You really are a very strange person!

I agree. When I did do "dating" (long time ago before I got married) I much preferred doing lunch. I would always do 50/50 unless it seemed to mean a lot to the chap to pay in which case I would let him but never take it for granted and I would pay the next time.