Out of interest, what would you do if your long term dp spat in your face?

[Namechanged11111]

Just that really? 😞

So verbal and mental abuse is fine, coercion and financial abuse fine, children seeing and learning how to treat/be treated fine....not to mention them being in an abusive family is abuse.

We'd be finished . Spitting is the most disrespectful thing you can do to anyone never mind a partner .

This has happened to me. I don't think you will ever get over it.

Legally, it's assault. It's not ABH or GBH, granted. But it's still common assault and he could be prosecuted. Common assault has a sentencing guideline of six months in prison, to the best of my knowledge.

Whether you feel ready to leave now or not, please don't let him gaslight you into believing that this isn't serious. It's very, very serious.

What would you say if your DD, your sister or your best friend told you her partner spat in her face? Be honest with yourself. You wouldn't accept something so debasing and vile directed at a loved one, so why accept it when it's directed at you?

Please get out now OP.

Ask him what reaction he would expect if he did it to a man.

Do you realise this is abuse? You might like to read "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft. He is acting from the usual script though, so you should recognise most of what is in there.

You really need to leave him, things only ever go one way. The longer you stay, the more emboldened he will feel, things will get worse and you will feel less able to get away. Please seek help if you don't feel strong enough to leave on your own.

As a previous poster said. How he sees it is not relevant. He is not the person who gets to categorise the different degrees of abuse, and what is/is not serious.

spitting in your face is grossly disrespectful, as disrespectful as physical abuse even if the degree of physical harm is less.

he doesn’t get to decide whether you stay in the relationship after what he’s done. You get to decide that and you don’t need to give any reasons. You don’t have to justify anything if you leave. I would not stay with someone who did this

Yes, it is legally assault and he can be prosecuted for it. Doesn't matter if it didn't bruise you externally, it's still assault, a crime. Not a civil offence, a criminal one.

Who cares what level of assault he believes he has committed?

He spat into your face. I would never get over it. I’d be heartbroken. I would be gone.

He showed you what he thought of you. That you are still talking to him probably makes him disrespect you even more.

He’s an absolute arsehole OP.

You deserve better 💐

You get to decide whether someone spitting in your face is acceptable to you. Not the person doing the spitting.

I sincerely hope you are able to get away from this person, and this relationship, because it has really hit the point of no return. Can you contact Women's Aid, if you feel you need validation of what's going on in order to take action? Please, please don't sit in this and let it go further downhill. You are worth much more.

Oh, Christ, leave him. He's absolutely foul.

Does he see it as absolutely fucking vile though?!

And punching someone in the face isn't "on a par" with killing them, but it's still an utterly abhorrent thing to do. Just like spitting on someone is.

Please leave him OP, he's never going to change.