Out of interest, what would you do if your long term dp spat in your face?

[Namechanged11111]

Just that really? 😞

The fact that you are even asking this question suggests that you are considering staying in this abusive relationship. There must be reasons why you might do this. What are they?

Secondly, what is your living situation? Children? Your finacial circumstances?

I'm sorry this happened to you OP. I hope you have a safe space.

It is definitely NOT your fault he's an awful cunt who cannot control his temper. For me, there is no coming back.

I'd leave for sure.

Are you still together?

Just about to post the same. It's the ultimate no no. It's the most vile, disrespectful and animalistic thing someone can do

We'd be done. Then and there, pack his shit and get out.

You’re probably going to stay with him by the sounds of it, so I’m unwatching the thread. I had a mother who enjoyed telling her friends about the latest drama with her partners over the years - spitting, biting, breaking in, trying to run us over, hair pulling, and so on. She always went back to them. All her friends drifted away. She had 4 people at her funeral.Truth hurts - people stop being sympathetic and distance themselves when you put up with this behaviour.

I would be very very angry and revolted if my husband spat at me, but I wouldn't leave him. I take my wedding vows very seriously and would only end my marriage if he was unfaithful or was violent towards me. As disgusting as spitting is, to me, it's not at the same level as violence.

As someone who has been punched, headbutted, bitten, kicked, scratched and spat at in the course of my career I’d have to say spitting is the least painful. It’s not pleasant but it doesn’t involve any expensive dental treatment or a plaster cast.

Having read the OP's subsequent posts, and now knowing that the spitting was part of a much wider issue, if I had been pushed or prodded, then I would have left my husband for that.

Please leave him. This is not a loving relationship and don't let yourself be abused. Being alone is better than being in a toxic environment. Life is short, don't waste it on him.

This act would break my heart.

But there is no going back, it’s the beginning of the end. I would have a lot of self respect for myself to never be treated this way. His self harm are just threats to try to scar you into forgiveness.

I agree with others, if you continue he may cause your great harm.

You cannot stay with him, OP.

This is who he is and this is what the rest of your life will be like if you don't leave.

He's an abuser.

Get to safety .
End this ‘relationship’.
You deserve so much more.
Sorry.

This guy hates you

Do you have any children or financial ties with him?

I'd call a lawyer and start working on the divorce.

Oh OP, that's awful, are you alright?
The suicide threats coupled with the abuse - this is an unsafe situation for you.
Do you have somewhere to go and someone who can offer you any immediate support?
This happened to my sister and she came to live with me for a while with her kids before she built a new life.
If you were my sister/friend, I'd be doing everything I could to get you out of there. There's no salvaging a situation like this and it has to be about your safety now.

It seems to me that you are in a dreadful predicament- he flushed you out. You agreed it was the lowest of the low. Then he did it.

now he waits to see if you can accept the lowest of the low.

the future seems bleak.

I would get a divorce.

Happened to me, we had a
6 month old at the time, I moved into the spare room, never had sex with him again and left.....took me 18 months to get the confidence to do it.

Moved into a miserable flat but I was away from an abusive narcissist. A year later I bought my own little house and here I am 5 years later happy and free, just back from taking my two boys to Spain 🇪🇸.

Leave you can do it, I did. X

If it were my husband I’d lose it badly, with your partner and his abuse I’d leave, he’s obviously not the man you could lose it with, it wouldn’t be safe.

Your situation sounds absolutely awful. Please leave him, life is too short to waste it on someone like that.

What happened to precipitate this?

It would be over 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not to mention I'd make sure he would be getting a visit from the police to boot. Vile behaviour.

It is NOT the action of somebody who loves you.
The fact he's threatening you with suicide after, means he's completely aware of what he's done.
I have called my husband a c**t, so horribly and viciously 😪and the shock and hurt on his face, was worse than any other verbal retaliation he could have said back. One and only time I've ever said it and never have/would again.

Your partner assaulted you first, then emotionally bullied you and then blamed you..... AGAIN
Whatever you both had at the beginning, it's gone now.

You've every right to be sad, to be angry, to cry, to worry about your future, worry about starting again, moving home, being alone, even might struggle with finances.
BUT nothing you did caused this abhorrent behavior and he keeps doing it!
I'm confident you already know what we ALL think
Break this awful cycle of abuse and be the one to end your relationship for good .

I was 19 and my boyfriend, spat at me whilst we were out drinking. He said it was my fault for looking at other men.( I hadn't) He had sworn and been aggressive before, cried and apologised afterwards ( usually being jealous ) but never willfully spat in my face.
I finished with him. he cried again and threatened to kill himself. He kept coming round and ringing. Crying sometimes, swearing at other times, he said he was so sorry, that he was ill, he'd get help, his mum was really ill, I had to give him another chance etc etc
I thought I loved him, but I was steadfast it was over.
I've been with my wonderful dh for 30 years. But I still remember the vitriol before and after being spat on by my ex and it was 40 years ago...
Sending you a big hug 🤗

Why are you still with this creature?