Out of interest, what would you do if your long term dp spat in your face?

[Namechanged11111]

Just that really? 😞

He would've been gone with the pushing and prodding as well as the verbal abuse. Never mind spitting too.

You need to end things before he escalates again.

I would consider him a EXP. And block him and LEAVE.

Oh love 😔

I hope you find the strength to leave him.
I know how hard it is. I stayed with a man who broke my jaw for two years! I know its so surreal.. you can't believe someone has done that to you. And they fully believe their own bullshit about how it's really your fault for saying whatever thing you said or looking at them funny or whatever.. it's just a nightmare. The shame and the disgust and that part of you that just wants to pretend it never happened so you don't have to think about it.
It's so hard.
I really hope you get out of this situation.
He's already pushed and poked you.. now he's spat on you. Don't stay till he breaks your jaw like I did. It just escalates because they think you'll just put up with it like you always have. They gradually let themselves go off more and more.

Please LTB. He might as well have punched you in my eyes. The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is zero. Spitting is vile but his lack of regret and suicide threats would be enough for me to call the police.

It's a degrading act, and is meant as such. Get out of there OP before this escalates. Domestic abuse doesn't have to be 'hands on'. He sounds awful.
Be safe x

I've heard from people who work for the police that one of the things they hate most is to be spat at.

I'd ring them now and report him and include everything else you can think of. Start the paper trail.

You are in an abusive relationship and it will escalate. Please call the police and report this. Include all the vile text messages and threats of suicide. Thats also a form of coercive control, especially as he has done it repeatedly. I hope you don’t live together. If you do get an occupation order so you can remain in the property and he will have to leave. Change your locks either way. Block him everywhere and go no contact. Speak to womens aid and ask for an IDVA. What he’s doing is a crime. Prosecute him.

Tonight he looked at me with absolute hatred and spat in my face.

the flouncing out with threats of suicide every time he has a temper are common

Never mind the spitting, looking at me with hatred in his eyes, and repeatedly threatening suicide, and blaming you every time he has a temper are all 100% dump and do not look back offenses.

He will keep getting worse until you end it.

Leave.

I would never speak to that vile person again!

Ex dp

Oh love, you know you can’t continue a relationship with someone who hates you and treats you with outright contempt, no matter what practical obstacles there are to leaving or what emotional manipulation he tries on you.

Being abused is never the victims fault. The fault is always that of the perpetrator. You absolutely do not deserve any of this. Not the pushing, not the name calling, not the threatening, not the spitting. It’s all his doing. All his. Read this book, “Why Does He Do That?” By Lundy Bancroft. It explains everything about abusive men, how their minds work, how they always justify their actions and victims blame.

https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

Not sure what your living situation is?

If you don't live together, change the locks.

If you do, go to women's aid tomorrow morning

Despicable behavior from him

Spitting at you is assault, threatening suicide is abuse.

What would I do?
I would worry if this happened to me, if there was a kettle full of boiling water I couldn't say I wouldn't throw it.

I would be beside myself with rage if someone did this to me. If I was scared of the other person and in physical danger then I'm sure self-preservation would prevail and I wouldn't attack them.

But they would be dead to me and I'd walk away and I would never look back. I would make sure I was never in a room alone either them and I would go no contact.

If you have children together I sympathise because you would have to somehow Co-parent. But I would be hyper vigilant about how he treated them and would get support from woman's aid etc on how to spot signs he was abusive to them when they were out of my sight. If I didn't have children with him I'd thank the gods everyday.

You know you need to end it. There is amazing support here for you as you do it. Contact woman's aid for advice. Abusive men are at their most dangerous when you try to leave them be aware of that

And 100% log what happened with the police in case (presumably) this is just the start.

That’s the last time he would see me. I am sorry that you have been assaulted like this.

I would walk. immediately. That is abuse.

No. No. No. NO.

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You are a victim of domestic violence. Get out before he kills you.

I would end the relationship tbh I would not be putting up with this, disgusting behaviour

Is this a trick question?