Should I sent the paragraph to him?

[serenabar]

I wrote a message on my notes for my ex. I wanna send it but at the same time im scared too.. this is the message:
im scared he will leave me on delivered, or that he will tell me he is with someone else now.. but at the same time i wanted him to know this..

You probably won’t open this, just like you didn’t open the yesterday one. But I am gonna say it anyway.. I never expected that we would disappear from each other’s worlds. I never expected you would be okay with that. I never expected you would not care what I have to say to you, I never expected you would ignore me like that.
But they say men are quite simple.. “the way a man treats you is exactly how he feels about you. If he wants to talk to you, he will reach out. If he wants to see you, he will make plans with you. And if he acts like he doesn't care, then he doesn't care.”
Yes, looks like you stopped caring. I was there when you needed me, I answered all your questions and when I mentioned I was hurt too - you disappeared. Yes, you showed me once again my feelings are not valid. I am just someone from now another universe for you. You seem like you are doing just fine, like you are forgetting all about me. I wish it was that easy for me too. But then again.. this new you is not the man I fall inlove with. He would never do anything like that, he wouldn’t just delete me from his life. And that man is gone. He no longer exists and I gotta acept that. Its a new you that I don’t recognize, I just don’t know him. It hurts now but the sun will rise again.
No one can take away the person who you were when we were in love.
Not even you. That person can stay in my heart for as long as I decide.
I think he loved me.
Even when you hurt me multiple times, I still didn’t leave. I won the I love you more.
You put me in enough breakups for a lifetime. And I still wouldn’t walk away from you. Cause not for once I looked at another guy, not for once I accepted any follow request. Cause for me that will be offensive thing for my man. I’m pure and I’m loyal. When I love - I love hard. And i know cause when you want something badly you just don’t give up. Everything can be sorted. Absolutely everything. Of course if it’s wanted.
I guess I got my closure too.
No one is going to want something and let it slip away. That's not how the human heart works.

thank you so much! ❤️ im saving this message forever ❤️
Im gonna go buy the books suggestions today and I started the day listening some podcasts. I love good walks and I like doing pilates, I feel energized and happy after. 🥹

Perfect! If the weather is nice where you are go on a walk to clear your head. Discover the things you enjoy. Date yourself. Be your own best friend and your own hero. Cheesy as it sounds, it was when I was content to just "be me" that me and and my guy got together.

A bit struggling now and trying to concentrate on his negative traits. 😞

Keep posting OP. Stay strong! You can do this.

Just its so hard to go through the day without hearing from someone you were talking to all the time. 😢 trying now to watch tv show..

You’ll be up and down, sometimes feeling elated and then you’ll remember something and start missing him again. It hurts but it’s all part of the grieving and healing process. Have a good cry if you need to. It will get a little bit easier every day. Keep posting here, we will support you.

Thank you so much!
how long does the hurting last normally? 😞

The hurting phase takes time. It is essentially a grieving process where it will hit you in waves of hurt, anger, bargaining (if I'd have done this would he have responded like that etc), and they won't necessarily come in any particular order. You may feel all at once or just one then another then another.

The last part is acceptance and learning to let go but you're a long way off that yet. By this point you genuinely won't care about him and if you hear his name it either won't bother you or will give you the ick.

I think keeping busy is key as well as allowing yourself to feel what you feel but try not to wallow in it too long.

Have you got a kick-ass playlist OP? Make a Spotify playlist with your favourite fuck you songs on. When you get to anger stage, blast it out.

Thank you hahaha I have some yes!

Here you go........

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger- Kelly Clarkson

When you’re older, you’ll look back and cringe and definitely be glad you didn’t send anything.

OP if he is ever going to come back, he needs to completely miss you. He can’t miss you if you’re texting him flowery stuff like that.

At the moment he’s feeling free and excited and he knows you’re still waiting for him. So he hasn’t started missing you yet.

He needs to wonder if you’ve moved on. If you have someone else. If you’ve got someone better. If you’re happier. If you’ve forgotten him. No contact is the only way this is achieved.

No texts, no calls, blocked on socials, archive on WhatsApp so you don’t see notifications.

Don’t reply to any breadcrumb texts. Things like ‘hi’ ’how are you’ ’saw this and thought of you’ etc. These are crumbs to check if you’re still waiting. They aren’t good enough to respond to.

Only reply if he is absolutely begging and snotting and grovelling and saying he can’t live without you. Even then consider ignoring him unless he wants to meet up for a serious chat. And even then don’t jump. Give him a time and place in your own time. And if he turns up being arrogant, it’s no deal and you leave early.

Give yourself time, peace and space. See friends. Go away for weekends. Keep busy. Get a new hobby. You might find you move on quicker than he does.

💐💐

Thank you all for the music suggestions! I can’t wait to have my own dance party! ❤️

Thank you so much! This is really helpful because what worries me is that he will forget me… and I don’t want him to forget me. 😔 and I thought if we don’t talk he will. 😔 Because the previous times he was the one to not leave me alone and now he is acting super different and it’s unexpected to me. 😞 and I want to share things to him and I remember I can’t anymore 😞

No sis if you don’t talk he will be thinking exactly what you are
… why has she stopped
.. does she not care? Is she forgetting?

BUT DO NOT GO BACK WHEN HE REACHES OUT

three months is a bloody good shout - at least!!!-

you need to feel good about you again, otherwise it’s another push/pull. You need to teach him and anyone that you respect yourself enough to not deal with bullshit and he needs to mirror that respect x

Thank you! ❤️
I was rereading all your messages and I feel better once again!
and this is my new background ❤️

I'm quite a bit older than you. My three year relationship ended. I spent the first month begging (😖😖😖) then he started ignoring me.
I wrote swathes of notes in my phone VERY similar to your paragraph. Spent all day at work one day drafting and redrafting an email. Sent it to my best friend instead and went and sat in the car (still at work) and cried and cried.
Didn't send it.
Deleted his number. Blocked him (to stop me from sending things, not to stop him from contacting me). Deleted from all social media. Got on with my life.
He emailed me five months later asking me to give him another chance.
Don't send it.
If it's meant to be, it'll be. It's a cliche but it's true.

Whoa this is crazy! How did you feel when he emailed you? Were you doing fine by that time?

I'm not entirely sure if he's left it too late or not. I'm still trying to decide.
I was getting my life on track. Busy, happy (mostly), healthy, time for friends, time for me, time to heal.
If I'm totally honest, part of me wishes he'd never sent his message.
Anyway. My point is, they (I appreciate this is a massive generalisation) don't deal with things in the same way as we do (again, the "we" is a generalisation).
Write your notes, write your email, write your text. But don't send it.
I guarantee you'll look back in a months time at what you've written and you won't feel the same way that you do now. Or if you do, you won't feel it as STRONGLY as you do now.

Absolutely fucking no. If he's a narc he'll use it against you, call you crazy and obsessed etc.
Block everything. Get a friend to do it with you if you can't. It hurts but doing it in one go is better than a thousand wounds to your self esteem and any more time.
I wish someone had told me that ten years ago.