Should I sent the paragraph to him?

[serenabar]

I wrote a message on my notes for my ex. I wanna send it but at the same time im scared too.. this is the message:
im scared he will leave me on delivered, or that he will tell me he is with someone else now.. but at the same time i wanted him to know this..

You probably won’t open this, just like you didn’t open the yesterday one. But I am gonna say it anyway.. I never expected that we would disappear from each other’s worlds. I never expected you would be okay with that. I never expected you would not care what I have to say to you, I never expected you would ignore me like that.
But they say men are quite simple.. “the way a man treats you is exactly how he feels about you. If he wants to talk to you, he will reach out. If he wants to see you, he will make plans with you. And if he acts like he doesn't care, then he doesn't care.”
Yes, looks like you stopped caring. I was there when you needed me, I answered all your questions and when I mentioned I was hurt too - you disappeared. Yes, you showed me once again my feelings are not valid. I am just someone from now another universe for you. You seem like you are doing just fine, like you are forgetting all about me. I wish it was that easy for me too. But then again.. this new you is not the man I fall inlove with. He would never do anything like that, he wouldn’t just delete me from his life. And that man is gone. He no longer exists and I gotta acept that. Its a new you that I don’t recognize, I just don’t know him. It hurts now but the sun will rise again.
No one can take away the person who you were when we were in love.
Not even you. That person can stay in my heart for as long as I decide.
I think he loved me.
Even when you hurt me multiple times, I still didn’t leave. I won the I love you more.
You put me in enough breakups for a lifetime. And I still wouldn’t walk away from you. Cause not for once I looked at another guy, not for once I accepted any follow request. Cause for me that will be offensive thing for my man. I’m pure and I’m loyal. When I love - I love hard. And i know cause when you want something badly you just don’t give up. Everything can be sorted. Absolutely everything. Of course if it’s wanted.
I guess I got my closure too.
No one is going to want something and let it slip away. That's not how the human heart works.

One text or a hundred won’t make him love you or treat you any better so why bother at all?

Nothing. Seriously nothing at all no news no contact no checking his SM etc. see it as an addict going cold turkey. Love can be that way sometimes. He won't come back. Even more importantly, you shouldn't take him back. You deserve better than this. You ARE better than this .

Thank you, I was rereading all comment, they are really helpful. 😔

Block his number, you'll be tempted to message him or call him or something. Better yet, delete his number.

This is the start of the rest of your life OP. So many new firsts to look forward to!

Just in the back of my mind is that I have sent stuff like that the previous breakups 😩 and I felt like he is the type that likes cheesy 🫣 but this time it’s different and I should not do that, I should not do anything at all and let him be. 🥺
Just the last interaction is him reacting 😢 to my screenshot I have sent him the day before.

Years ago, been there, done that, then been there again because it takes me a while to learn.

I speak from experience. It's over. Keep telling yourself that. You take control. You're ending this madness and cycle of pain. You're not friends. You're not getting back together (for your own sake). Every time you feel the twinge (to romanticise, to message him, to check etc) just tell yourself "no, it's over."

In this case, it’s ‘don’t even send the message.’

I can guarantee that if you don’t contact him, in one year (or even sooner) you will look back and be so glad you didn’t. Keep your dignity.

The year emoji response is cruel. He can’t be arsed to reply but is breadcrumbing you, putting the ball back into your court, thinking you’ll be message again. Don’t. He’s not bothered enough to communicate properly.

Silence is the absolute best strategy here. This way he won’t know what you are thinking, or be able to make judgements about you being crazy/obsessed/pathetic etc. Silence means to him that you might be upset. Or you might be fine, annoyed, have moved on, met someone else, forgotten him, just not that bothered etc. And he won’t know which. So much better!

I so much want to do this! Sounds so good. 😔
what I can do when I miss him badly? Cause I am so used to talk to him?

He doesn't care.

Sending this won't make him care. In fact, it will make him care even less.

I'm sorry you're in such heartache.

But this is just the hardest part.

Your silence is powerful for you. It's the first step to healing.

Don't look to the person who hurt you to heal you.

Talk to someone else. Or a pet. Even a soft toy! Just not him.
Write notes to yourself and then delete them.
You can do this. Most people have been in a similar situation. In the past I wrote a note on my phone ‘to’ my ex. I didn’t send it as I knew that it would make me feel worse, especially if he didn’t reply at all. A few months later I found the note and realised I had ZERO feelings towards him, none at all! So I deleted it, felt great.

I was told to write a note where I pretend I did break up with him and to list all the reasons why.. and add icks and all..
my friends also tell me he was gaslighting me, cause he blamed it all on me and never wanted to hear how I felt and they say he is arrogant and narcissistic 😔

what I can do when I miss him badly? Cause I am so used to talk to him?

You keep yourself busy. It's habit. It's a hit , that's not worth it. You talk to friends and family and forums (if it's your thing). You go out,have fun, socialise. You focus on yourself and hobbies. If you don't have any, explore various things see what you enjoy.

Every day it will get just that tiny bit easier, I promise. One day you'll shake your head and wonder what you've ever seen in him, if you even remember his name.

Very old school (showing my age) but listen to pink- just like a pill.

Just don't do it

He will not read it anyway

He will bin it

Don't demean yourself

I agree. Don’t send it, OP. He has hurt you a lot already, and this can only let him hurt you more, whether he replies or ignores you. Write him off to experience, move on and find someone who deserves your love xx

At the end of 3 months then what? You contact him? To what end.

Let it go

I had a friend who is just a bit older than you OP (26) and she went on a 1 month no contact rule with this absolutely dickhead of a guy she was seeing/not seeing. Anyway she eventually gets in contact with him again (against my advice to forget about him) and guess what? He ended up fucking her over and hurting her all over again. She could have spared herself the pain by deleting him out of her life but for some reason she kept putting herself back there.

She sent the whole "look how much you've hurt me" texts as well and honestly he didn't give a shit. He used her for sex, I'm convinced he did. Please don't be her, she's a bit of a mess and needs to take a break from dating but I doubt she will.

You won’t get closure, you’ll just end up feeling foolish and even more shit.

My sister told me “yeah you could get back together but do you really want that? Spending a year more with him and then being dumped once again”

Yeah agree with Lam the 😢 was sent to keep you on the hook.

So don’t be thinking in time intervals (months etc) or communication mediums (emojis, texts etc)

It takes seconds to tap 😢 and it means fuck all other than seconds is all the effort he’s prepared to invest in you so ofc he might throw out another hook in a couple of months, or even years - why not, it’s not costing him any thought or effort or more than a couple of seconds time.

So invest in your relationship with yourself - that’s the longest, most important & most worthwhile relationship you will ever have and if it is respectful, loving and healthy then you won’t settle for any old crap from someone else.

Please listen to her, she is right. She has your best interests at heart even though it hurts to hear it. She cares for you. Do listen to her.

My shameful story is when I was in my 20s I wrote the guy who dumped me a letter and gave it him in person. I look back now and cringe and honestly you couldn't pay me to be with him now. It's embarrassing that I wrote him a letter and gave to him in a pub! After we separated.

I'm 38 now and am dating my best friend. I truly believe if something is meant to be it'll be and I'm thankful everyday that I get to date a man who treats me with respect, plus the friendship is already there.

You will find someone worthy OP. I promise. It'll come.

You all are giving me power to not contact him.
Only think it bothers me if he really moved on already and if he really doesn’t think about me 😔

Yeah it will sting if he has moved on so quick but if he has it means he was never into you in the first place. You've done yourself a favour, you've dodged a HUGE bullet!! The rest of your life awaits.

I think all of us on here at some point have been where you are. You are a strong lady, never forget that. You're worth so much. Don't give your power to someone who doesn't deserve you.

Cutting contact now is for the best. It’s going to hurt so here is what you’re going to do -

Remove everything that reminds you and delete interactions. They will do you no good.

Plan your days - keep busy - see friends/family etc.

When you need to cry, cry. It’s okay to do so and remind yourself it’s not going to hurt this much forever. In fact in a few months it probably won’t hurt at all and you’ll be so glad that this happened and you’re no longer living in a constant state of anxiety anymore.

Do some exercise. Seems stupid but it’ll release some endorphins in you and make you feel better.

Find things YOU enjoy. Not things you enjoyed together etc. things you wouldn’t even think about.

Glow up yourself. Not to ‘show him’ but to make you feel good about you! Go get your hair/nails etc done or whatever makes you feel good.

Make some goals. What do you want to do with your life? Travel? Career? Make a plan! How are you going to get there?

Eventually you will look at what you did from this break up and actually feel so secure in yourself that when he does crawl back and try recreate this cycle you seem to be stuck in together you’ll think … fuck that look how amazing my life is now and this guy who broke up with me and messed with my head for however long is now trying to drag me back in? Lol not a chance unless he has actually done some massive internal changes.

Sweetheart you are 22. You have so so many years and experiences to have yet. You’re going to have so many wonderful things happen. Don’t let this person, who by what you have said doesn’t give you enough respect, ruin it for you. People who love you don’t allow you to feel so low.

block, delete. Get started on your new, exciting overall better life.

Why would he? Remember.. it's over. This your new mantra now.