Sex in TV shows...

[TwoPintsOfAleAndABagOfPorkScratchings]

I'll start this by saying that I don't really watch TV. I have one and I'll sometimes watch a documentary on Netflix or something but I don't watch TV.

Shows that other people have watched over the years have completely passed me by. For example, last year, I watched the first season of Prison Break for the first time. I just find it boring. I don't get invested or care about the characters so I generally don't watch it.

Anyway, my partner is more of a TV watcher than I will ever be and, if he wants to watch something, I go and do something else.

But because of him, I've become more aware of what is out there. I still have no interest in watching any of it though!

One thing that has really come to my attention is how much violent and explicit sex is in just ordinary TV shows. I know he watched Game of Thrones before we got together and he talked about watching House of the Dragon although, as far as I know, he hasn't yet. He's also just finished watching the most recent seasons of The Boys.

I'm just really uncomfortable with the level of nudity and explicit sex in these shows. I haven't said anything to him about him watching it because we've only been together for 2 and a half years and these are things he started watching before we got together. But he does know I don't like it and doesn't suggest we watch anything like that together.

But he's now shown an interest in a new series on Prime called something like Those Who Are About to Die or something. I looked it up to see if it was something i could watch with him and again its full of explicit sex, nudity, prostitutes etc.

It just feels, I don't know, degrading to me as a woman that women are exploited in this way for entertainment? That entertainment has to include gratuitous sex and violence against women. And men too to be honest. I don't like that either. It just feels unnecessary And I don't like it.

It might sound extreme but I just can't get my head round being with someone who is so kind and loving towards me enjoying watching women being raped and brutalised. Or even just the explicit sex and nudity.

And I don't think I want to be in a relationship with someone who watches it week in and week out for entertainment.

But I also know that some women enjoy these shows too. I've tried telling myself that it isn't real but the nudity is real, the bodies are real and the sexual acts are either real or designed to appear very real.

What are other people's thoughts on this?

Well clearly, that's not the case, and you are just being difficult by making absurd arguments about how all women supposedly love to see dicks on TV.

I'll tell you what- if you can sincerely tell me that you have a female friend who was thrilled and delighted when she received a dick pic on her phone that she never asked for, I will apologise and accept what you're saying as being true.

No one has said they want to see dicks on TV.

Other people have said - why is there so much explicit female nudity on TV?

But you have heard - why dont we see more dicks?

Why isn't the answer to show less explicit female nudity?

I didn't say all women love to see dicks on TV, I said some people are partial to them. Some women enjoy looking at penises as do some men. You'll need your fainting couch for this one - people enjoy sex and some of those people are women.

Secondly, cyber flashing is a crime and I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. Are you now suggesting that a naked man on TV is a crime?

There's a very long history of naked bodies, both male and female, in European cinema. They're just bodies - it's not a hate crime.

@cupcaske123 Some women enjoy looking at penises

Who?

What bothers me most about 'sex' in TV shows is how the participants (if I can call them that?) are shown hiding their rude bits from each other (that they've just shagged!) either by deliberately pulling a sheet over or by wearing bra knickers boxers etc.

Grown ups.

No specific examples then.

The human race has gone on for a very long time because humans find each other attractive. People, both men and women, are sexually aroused by the naked body. Women also watch porn to get off to, not in the same proportion to men, but a lot.

Unfortunately I don't have the time or inclination to write a list of every single human being turned on by a penis, you'll have to trust me that they exist.

Women are also partial to firm peachy butts, abs, broad chests and forearms. 😋

@cupcaske123 Unfortunately I don't have the time or inclination to write a list of every single human being turned on by a penis, you'll have to trust me that they exist.

No one asked you to. I asked for examples.

Here's examples from my side, just from this website:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/3793910-Willies-are-rank
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/1724189-Arent-willys-rather-unattractive
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/1841470-To-think-mens-private-parts-are-not-a-turn-on-to-look-at

If you are saying you become aroused when you see penises on TV, it puts you in a very small minority of people.

Do you really think that three MN threads are representative of the human race? There are billions of people in the world and they're turned on by all kinds of things. I can't believe that you can't get your head around the fact that people find penises attractive.

@cupcaske123 Do you really think that three MN threads are representative of the human race? There are billions of people in the world and they're turned on by all kinds of things. I can't believe that you can't get your head around the fact that people find penises attractive.

Well all commentary I've seen online from women, and all women I've known who have commented on this subject, are pretty clear that they do not find videos or photographs of random men's penises arousing.

Why don't you start a poll on here, and ask women if they are aroused by videos or photographs of penises? Go ahead and have the satisfaction of proving me wrong.

I don't feel the need to. If you aren't attracted by male genitals that's your prerogative. Just don't make assumptions about other people. There's a big wide world out there, outside MN , check it out sometime and have some fun.

I agree @TwoPintsOfAleAndABagOfPorkScratchings

As you've said, the way to rectify it isnt to add more nudity of the opposite sex, but less nudity overall.

Women do not go around with magazines of naked men to jerk off over because male nudity isnt equal to female nudity. It is the difference between equality and equity

@Wizardcalledoz Women do not go around with magazines of naked men to jerk off over

Well that's what I thought, but other people seem to disagree with us lol.

because male nudity isnt equal to female nudity. It is the difference between equality and equity

It's not an equality and equity issue. If every politician was a woman, if all positions of authority at every company and organisation were held by women, if all religious leaders were women, and if men had fewer rights in law than women, that would not change a thing about men wanting to see videos and photrographs of women's bodies.

Oh I agree. When I mentioned equality vs equity I meant that putting in more gratuitous male nudity (supposed equality) wouldnt actually bring balance, and so what we need is equity

And the opening ceremony with its sexual overtones. Over it

Fewer women than men find explicit shots of genitals arousing. Women tend to want to see the whole person . Men on the other hand are quite focused on looking at breasts and genitals in isolation. That’s just a fact. Women are culturally objectified in our society. Naked women sell things, whether it’s beer cans or newspapers. The sad thing is many women just accept this and don’t see how it devalues women generally. The days of feminism seem to be completely over sadly.

I find it weird how in the past year or so 90% of sex scenes are 'man taking woman from behind', who's is controlling what we see. Also to put it out there how unrealistic most labour and birth scenes are. Totally agree with you OP.

It seems odd that in fantasy dramas set in a quasi-medieval world they can make loads of changes to reality (as a PP mentioned, dragons) but not to sexual violence against women being used as a plot point. Why is it easier to accept dragons and magic than women not being exploited?

Because men like to see both?

The sad thing is many women just accept this and don’t see how it devalues women generally.

This is what it boils down to for me really - it devalues women generally.

Yes, it's just naked bodies and we've all got one/seen one. Yes, it's just sex and we've all done it/seen it. But it's the exploitative nature of it.

Men can want what they want. It doesn't need to be given to them at every opportunity to the detriment of women as a whole.

I totally get what you are saying OP.
Do you think you can explain these feelings to him? If you want the relationship to work it may be worth a go.

He knows I don't watch sex scenes generally and he has said that the portrayal of women in films/TV has become more enlightened since we've talked about it. He said that, if he goes to put a film on now and its obvious that the main thrust of the story is 'woman being threatened by a man' he won't watch it.

But I also think that, as a pp said, he's become desensitised to a lot of it and just sees it as incidental.

He turned something off the other night becaise it started with a sex scene and said he'd realised that, if a film has to start with a sex scene it probably doesn't have a lot else to offer.

But then he said he didn't see the point in them and didn't watch stuff with excessive sex in it the day after finishing the current series of The Boys. So either, he's deliberately lying to me and thinks I'm an idiot or he just doesn't register it.

He gets that it's exploitative but it think he only really notices it if it's the main narrative.

What do I do though? I can't tell him to stop watching stuff. I can't police his viewing and it's in so much now that he'd effectively he agreeing to stick to PGs in future!

But it does really change how I felt about him and men in general tbh.

I don't know if it's been mentioned OP but you can check IMDB for sex scenes, violence etc. I'm like you and don't like overly sexual scenes so I usually check this before I watch something

Thanks. Yes, I've already said I don't watch anything without checking first