Sex in TV shows...

[TwoPintsOfAleAndABagOfPorkScratchings]

I'll start this by saying that I don't really watch TV. I have one and I'll sometimes watch a documentary on Netflix or something but I don't watch TV.

Shows that other people have watched over the years have completely passed me by. For example, last year, I watched the first season of Prison Break for the first time. I just find it boring. I don't get invested or care about the characters so I generally don't watch it.

Anyway, my partner is more of a TV watcher than I will ever be and, if he wants to watch something, I go and do something else.

But because of him, I've become more aware of what is out there. I still have no interest in watching any of it though!

One thing that has really come to my attention is how much violent and explicit sex is in just ordinary TV shows. I know he watched Game of Thrones before we got together and he talked about watching House of the Dragon although, as far as I know, he hasn't yet. He's also just finished watching the most recent seasons of The Boys.

I'm just really uncomfortable with the level of nudity and explicit sex in these shows. I haven't said anything to him about him watching it because we've only been together for 2 and a half years and these are things he started watching before we got together. But he does know I don't like it and doesn't suggest we watch anything like that together.

But he's now shown an interest in a new series on Prime called something like Those Who Are About to Die or something. I looked it up to see if it was something i could watch with him and again its full of explicit sex, nudity, prostitutes etc.

It just feels, I don't know, degrading to me as a woman that women are exploited in this way for entertainment? That entertainment has to include gratuitous sex and violence against women. And men too to be honest. I don't like that either. It just feels unnecessary And I don't like it.

It might sound extreme but I just can't get my head round being with someone who is so kind and loving towards me enjoying watching women being raped and brutalised. Or even just the explicit sex and nudity.

And I don't think I want to be in a relationship with someone who watches it week in and week out for entertainment.

But I also know that some women enjoy these shows too. I've tried telling myself that it isn't real but the nudity is real, the bodies are real and the sexual acts are either real or designed to appear very real.

What are other people's thoughts on this?

I saw it a long time ago. I still don't think sex scenes are necessary. I just don't want to see it.

Agree completely OP watching TV makes me anxious for this reason, so awkward when watching with partner if it's just me I can fast forward. I end up checking parents guide for most things now or just not bothering. Some will say it's sad and it might be but I don't want to spend my free time feeling uncomfortable.

Same. I check the parent guide before watching anything.

And Common Sense Media and Kids in Mind.

Interesting how many completely unfamiliar usernames there are on this thread, and most of them snarking at posters that find modern sex scenes gratuitous! Hmmm, I wonder which part of MN they usually post in?

🙄😂

I am really not convinced that all men are getting aroused watching sex scenes/naked woman. I think some men appreciate seeing the female form but possibly in the same way that some appreciate seeing a top of the range Ferrari. If arousal is what your DP is after then surely he could just watch porn instead.

This is a good point. “My partner is ogling attractive ladies on the telly and getting all turned on” is a curiously 1950s complaint in a world where you can watch pretty much anything anyone could think of on Pornhub.

The handmaid’s tale? I don’t think anyone could claim that the sex scenes are purely there to titillate.

@QueenCremant I am really not convinced that all men are getting aroused watching sex scenes/naked woman. I think some men appreciate seeing the female form but possibly in the same way that some appreciate seeing a top of the range Ferrari.

No. All heterosexual men get aroused when seeing a naked woman, to some extent. If they are only slightly aroused, it's because sex is so prevalent in today's society that many men become desensitised to it.

As strange and weird as car-loving men are, none of them are sexually aroused by a car.

That's not really what I've said though is it?

Yeah but it's producers/directors/writers of these shows who are trying to compete with porn by showing porn.

I sort of know what you mean OP - I feel bad for young actresses these days.
I'm not averse to sex scenes, but its the ubiquitous Tits For No Reason that is really a thing, and they must be under enormous pressure to comply, or get replaced by someone who will.

Anyone who says that it's just the producers being 'authentic' are talking bollocks, if it was there would dicks aplenty. Funnily enough the men usually keep most of their clothes on - which has never been my experience in real life, so not very authentic then. I don't mind a bit of nudity, it's the unbalanced, exploitative nature of it. Very much designed for the male gaze even though many women watch these shows too.

Make no mistake, if there were as many male nudity scenes men would be massively turned off/grossed out.

its the ubiquitous Tits For No Reason that is really a thing, and they must be under enormous pressure to comply, or get replaced by someone who will.

I've been thinking about this a lot.this.week. And your points are all ones I agree with. I don't believe any woman who dreamed of acting as a young child/teenager hoped she'd get to spread her legs in front of a camera or have to pretend to be raped or is in any way actually comfortable with it. And I've read several interviews by women who had to have therapy after certain films or regret the pressure their younger selves were put under. How can anyone enjoy watching something that is supposed to mainstream viewing that has made the women acting in it feel like that?

I agree about the authentic angle too. In my experience, men are far more willing to get their dicks out than women are to do similar. And yet, it's always naked women we see. Yes men too on occasion but they often manage to 'obscure' the view of penis. I suppose they think men aren't as interested in seeing those.

Whenever rape or violence is mentioned in the public arena, we always hear "men experience it too". In that case, why aren't we seeing men being raped in mainstream films? Again, I suppose men are less comfortable and not at all sexually aroused by it. I'd imagine it would feel a bit distasteful to them. There are plenty of films with men having conversations in strip clubs. Where are the high ranking female officers or whoever having conversations at male strip shows? A lot of random visits to prostitutes. Where are the 'rent boys'?

@HornyHornersPinkyWinky Anyone who says that it's just the producers being 'authentic' are talking bollocks, if it was there would dicks aplenty. Funnily enough the men usually keep most of their clothes on - which has never been my experience in real life, so not very authentic then. I don't mind a bit of nudity, it's the unbalanced, exploitative nature of it. Very much designed for the male gaze even though many women watch these shows too.

There are no dicks because very few people want to see dicks. Men are disgusted by dicks on TV. Women are disgusted by dicks on TV. So if you put dicks on TV, who are you aiming your TV show at? Gay men may appreciate dicks, but this is a small % of the population.

It would at least be balanced and authentic.

That's assuming you only want to titillate. If you watch many European films they have full frontal male nudity and have done for years. French cinema is renowned for it.

I would argue that most women don't particularly want to see tits on screen either - but we weren't asked about it. Our level of comfort isn't considered.

We just have to put up and shut up because that's what is being put out by producers. And if we do complain we are called prudes...

I agree with you too OP. It’s a sad reflection on society.

@HornyHornersPinkyWinky I would argue that most women don't particularly want to see tits on screen either

You may not want to see it, for the reasons previously discussed (personally, I said I dislike nudity when it has no relevance to the TV show or film), but the difference is that tits per se are not disgusting. You can go to a beach in Portugal or Spain and there will be lots of tits, and no one is bothered. No one is offended by tits. On the other hand, almost all of the population finds dicks disgusting. Why would you want something in a movie that you would be disgusted by?

So, yes, I would argue against any assertion that men don't find it sexually arousing. If they didn't, men wouldn't write it into scripts.

There are lots of things I'm not offended by. I can still enjoy a film without them present.

Agreed, why do we need to see it? Also who are these women having these over the top orgasms after 3 thrusts?! I remember tv when the bedroom door got shut, end scene then you'd see them in bed afterwards one smoking. It's really not necessary to see these over the top graphic non realistic sex scenes, I can't believe the actors enjoy it either.

With this comment I'm guessing you're a man.

Why are dicks 'disgusting' but breasts are fine? They are both body parts. In the context of a sex scene they are probably equally important. If you're going to show nudity, why only one person in the scene? Oh yes, because you want to give the male viewers what they want.

What you mean is you don't find dicks attractive and don't want to see them...but I feel that way about women's breasts, I don't find them attractive and don't particularly want to see them everywhere - my point is that what is put out on mainstream tv is heavily biased in one way. Female viewers aren't considered.

Why are dicks 'disgusting' but breasts are fine? They are both body parts.

Do you like seeing dicks on TV?

In your spare time, do you go online to find videos and photographs of dicks?

No, you don't. So why are you asking to see dicks on TV?

Some people are very partial to dicks. The poster might have a feature wall plastered with them.

I think you're being deliberately obtuse.