Anonymous card that husband cheats

[Saucisson14]

Never posted before but would really appreciate some advice as am sending myself mad! I received a card to home address including postcode. It stated that my husband is a cheat and I should dump him. No other details and didn’t call me by my first name but just Mrs and surname. Husband immediately denied it I have to say I believed him. There have been no signs of affair, nothing to make me suspicious although the seed of doubt is planted of course yet I don’t want to make accusations without any proof.
My question is what would someone have to gain by doing this if there wasn’t some truth? We don’t have any enemies (well any that we’re aware of). If it were true, why would they not give more details that provided some proof?

Showed him straight away as he was in the room when I opened it. He really didn’t look guilty and was as shocked as me. I made a joke after saying “well I’ll wait for the pictures to arrive” and he didn’t look like he was shitting himself! Don’t get me wrong, I definitely wouldn’t have expected any man doing the dirty to own up but I wasn’t suspicious by the way he reacted

Does he seem keen to find out who posted it? If I was innocent I'd be furious someone tried to break up my family and be trying to find out who and why.

I know someone who had similar turned out to be a neighbour teenage daughter and her friends because he called her parents and the police when they had an out of control party while parents were away.

@Saucisson14 are you above average pretty and slim?

Sadly have encountered women who can only relate to women ''beneath them'' (as they see it),or paradoxically, women who are stellar, minor celebrities, in positions of power. They get a pass. I'm a woman's woman, but unfortunately there is a form of covert narcissism that means that some women view others in a very hierarchical way. If my theory is correct, is there somebody who, when you met them, you thought ''oh we're quite similar! we could be friends!'' but their first reaction was ''she thinks she's equal to me!???''

@LilacRaven is right. Has he curiosity to try and figure it out?

I think so too. Two aspects make me think this. First if you had evidence you’d give it. Secondly, why the instruction to leave him? If you were a genuine informant you’d leave it to the person to decide. This is someone who wants to cause trouble- either a) someone with a crush on him wanting to clear the path or b) ( the most likely I think) this is about you op rather than him. Someone wants to disrupt your life. I had something very similar only they were dumb enough to post it from a weird postcode- forgetting that they had told me several weeks earlier they were travelling there that weekend. Turns out later she was LGBT ( I guess was irritated I wasn’t) and felt I had shunned her when I turned down joining her for a series of dance classes ( that I had no interest in). It smarted and she hit back. Some people are not able to keep perspective.

Actually I don’t think he does. Certainly not as keen as I would be if attempting to prove my innocence!

Totally agree. I find it very hard to believe that someone with a genuine wish for you to know the truth about an affair would send that card without a shred of anything to support it. No name of the woman, no length of time, no attempt to describe her appearance, no example of when they’ve met up etc. So what evidence do they have that he’s having one? Literally none at all, seemingly. It’s not even worth bothering sending as there’s absolutely nothing to support the claim. They could as easily tell you he had a secret child or a murky past - anything they fancied making up. So for that reason and his reaction, I don’t think they have good intentions. More likely bollocks.

This is an interesting perspective. I sound a right dick bigging myself up but yes, I guess I am above average and slim. From an outsiders point of view, we probably look like we have it all but we have our fair share of worries like everyone else.
This is the problem though, there are so many possibilities and very little to go on.

In that case maybe it’s the crush scenario and he knows who is crushing on him! But I think if it were an affair the note would read differently .

Sorry oP, it’s horrid. I wasn’t married when I got mine and worked it out pretty fast but was still appalled I had had a brush with such a nutcase.

Hi OP,

I think it would be worth taking that to the police. That is just weird and wrong.

It may be that the person is sending the same to lots of people, and they need to know about that.

Exactly how I feel, not nice knowing that someone with a twisted mind knows my address!

Is the postcode, the handwriting, the spelling/grammar or the card a clue? If it’s someone you actually know you will probably be able to piece it together.

Hmmm it's a hard one. It is weird he doesn't seem to want to find out but that doesn't make him guilty as everyone is different and he might be super laid back as a person.

Id be suspicious enough to feel like I had a valid excuse to snoop. Id wait a few weeks until it's forgotten about and then look through his phone and wallet/bag etc. If I didn't find anything and his behaviour was fine id then let it go. Personally I couldn't let it go without the snoop first or it would constantly nag away at me!!

I am starting to think that might be an idea. Will be also interesting to see how he reacts if I suggest it!

Someone would have to be either 100% certain or 100% psychotic to send such a card. My money is on option A. You should have done some digging Op.
Some spouses have decade long affairs without their partners ever having an inkling.

Yup suggest it

That's quite sweet 😆

Hope it made you prance around a bit at being DH's other woman

Or both! I just wish if there was any truth that some detail was provided. Tbh, if he was having an affair with anyone that would send it, I’d actually say good luck to him!

I'm sorry that happened to you. My friend had something similar happen to her, she started getting text messages saying her husband was having an affair, including specifics saying that he wasn't at cricket that day he was with the woman. The husband completely denied it and hired a private investigator to find out more information about the burner phone the texts were sent from. My friend was telling her sister about hiring the private investigator in front of BIL and the BIL owned up and said he had been sending the texts. So completely insane. I'm not sure if she ever found out why he sent them but I assume either her or her husband annoyed the BIL and that was how he responded. Some people are just psychos.

No clue at all. Royal Mail mark is a different city to where we live but unrelated in that we don’t have any connection there. Obviously it’s likely to have been posted by someone just visiting there. Nothing else provides a clue

How horrible, what the hell is wrong with people. It wouldn’t cross my mind to even think of these things. It says a whole lot about their happiness

I know, I didn't even realise people like that existed outside of TV. She was also pregnant when he did it. What an awful human being.

A relative of mine received some similar before about her fiancé. It was a post card. She didn't believe it. But he was cheating. A lot. But I guess you need trust your own instincts.

This happened to me. The same way address to Mrs and with no specifics. Turns out it was an ex employee who my DH had fired.