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Threesome went wrong

838 replies

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 10:29

Hi all I'm posting this for a couple of reasons really.
One being I have noone else to get this all of my chest too as I haven't told any friends about it and Two to warn other how a potential threesome could go.

So here goes
I've been seeing a man for about 9 months, he has always treated me very well all the things I had been looking for including No games. Grounded. Mature. Kind . Funny and we have always just clicked from day one.

A couple of months ago we spoke about sexual fantasies his being a threesome, he said he would never make me feel pressured to do this though & was happy for it just to be a fantasy. As time went on I felt more comfortable with him sexually & said I would like to explore this with him .
He was clearly very excited & got to work straight away on joining dating sites & sites aimed for swinging / threesomes.
I left all that side to him as I'm not really into messaging people back & forth.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago he msg me and told me he has found someone, she would like to explore with us as a couple

He sent me the conversation between them and the photos they had exchanged, it was all very open and he said I could change my mind at any time ( which I have felt I can do)
We had arranged to meet her this friday just gone.
The past 2 weeks leading up to it, she is all he has spoken about it was like he was obsessed , i just said to myself well once it is out if his system maybe he wint be going on and on about her so much.
To cut a long story short ... we met her friday evening, I found her very attractive and there was an instant chemistry between us.
We all chatted for a while and then she made it clear she would like to take things further that evening so we booked into a hotel.
The thing is , she seemed very keen on me and was all over me , kissing touching etc. The man I'm seeing was initially into it he then turned and said to her can I join in now and she said no not yet I just want to be with her for a minute , so he respected that.
As things progressed she only wanted me , I stopped and asked her are you actually gay? Or not attracted to my boyfriend? That's ok if either of those things are correct however we were after a threesome, she then kissed him for a while and they started doing other things together ... I could see her actually wince though as if she just was not attracted to him in the slightest ... she kept turning back towards me and when he put his hand on her leg to get involved she said no and moved his hand off her.
It was all a bit awkward however I was quite enjoying being with her , I looked over at my boyfriend and he looked very angry , I had never seen him like this before!
She then went to the bathroom and he turned to me and said that he doenst want the threesome to continue and that he was going to offer to pay for her cab.
He was very short with me and it was clear he wasnt having a good time so I agreed.
When she came out of the bathroom I was polite and friendly and said it wasnt working for us as a couple and we would call her a cab. I was so embarrassed about my boyfriend's behaviour as he was grumpy now and didnt speak to her before she left. I walked her out to the cab gave a hug and said goodbye.
When I walked back into the hotel room my boyfriend was very cross and said shes obsessed with you! I said to him I'm so confused this is what your fantasy you have said for a long time that you wanted to see me with another woman .I understand she was more attracted to me then him however I couldnt help this.
Anyway his behaviour has now given me the ick and I dont think I want to see him anymore!. We went to sleep that evening and the next morning we went for breakfast he moaned about how expensive the bill for breakfast was ( it really wasn't) I had never seen him behave like this before now.
I offered to pay for it just to keep him quiet and to stop the moaning although it was his turn to pay as we often take turns.
I paid for the breakfast we got up to leave and his whole attitude was miserable. I tried talking to him and he was having none of it , again something I've never seen in him before as we have always communicated well.
By Saturday afternoon I was ready to go home , we had the weekend planned together but something had switched inside me after seeing him like this and I made my excuses and said I needed to get back as my children were coming back early . I made it up but I just had to leave , I couldn't stand to be around him.
I feel like theres no going back from this.
Any advice over what to do please?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
BunnyOnTheOnion · 12/10/2024 07:51

@Cherryblossom85 do come back and update us!!

CallmePaul · 12/10/2024 13:57

Secondstart1001 · 25/07/2024 04:48

Yes same here! Honestly wish men with stay the fuck away from MN!

You are not alone in that view.

To me it's a parenting forum, the biggest one around, men aren't banished from it, MN is pretty continually clear that it's for 'all' parents.

If you are unhappy with that talk to MN, but not sure how you'd stop it, yes it's pretty sad & naff if someone sends inappropriate messages, but I'd hope it's a pretty small minority who do.

kittensinthekitchen · 12/10/2024 18:00

"sad & naff" it may be to you, Paul, but for some women it's more a case of "scary" or "traumatic".

Secondstart1001 · 13/10/2024 00:31

kittensinthekitchen · 12/10/2024 18:00

"sad & naff" it may be to you, Paul, but for some women it's more a case of "scary" or "traumatic".

Yes exactly… I had someone send me a dm and I thought they were female and lonely so I thought I’d reply then after a few odd messages they revealed their name was “Steve” and it was scary and sleazy in equal measures!

Bluebird987 · 13/10/2024 01:09

kittensinthekitchen · 12/10/2024 18:00

"sad & naff" it may be to you, Paul, but for some women it's more a case of "scary" or "traumatic".

🙄

Bluebird987 · 13/10/2024 01:09

Secondstart1001 · 13/10/2024 00:31

Yes exactly… I had someone send me a dm and I thought they were female and lonely so I thought I’d reply then after a few odd messages they revealed their name was “Steve” and it was scary and sleazy in equal measures!

Oh dear God how did you even sleep that night 🙄

ThatsCute · 13/10/2024 07:19

Ah yes, the old “smile and be polite; don’t offend” we’ve been conditioned to do when a man comes uninvited into your space and makes you feel uncomfortable—be it on public transport, in a bar, or in your inbox.

kittensinthekitchen · 13/10/2024 12:28

Bluebird987 · 13/10/2024 01:09

🙄

Rollling your eyes at women being uncomfortable? Nice

Buttercup198 · 04/12/2024 00:35

I can't believe how many people feel the need to fuck others as in threesome when their meant to be in love absolutely vile ,,

EBearhug · 04/12/2024 02:16

Buttercup198 · 04/12/2024 00:35

I can't believe how many people feel the need to fuck others as in threesome when their meant to be in love absolutely vile ,,

  • It's a want, not a need.
  • They might not be in love. You don't have to be in love to fuck someone.
  • If you are in love, and know your partner is interested in it, you might go for it because you love them and want to please them.
  • When I've been in love,it's struck me as selfish to keep them all to myself. Others should be allowed to feel as good as I do by sharing.
ruethewhirl · 04/12/2024 18:08

Buttercup198 · 04/12/2024 00:35

I can't believe how many people feel the need to fuck others as in threesome when their meant to be in love absolutely vile ,,

Not all love is monogamous.

sixtyandfabulousofcourse · 05/02/2025 14:30

I would just walk away, this is the trouble with 3somes and to be honest you probably had not known each other long enough to really get into this. I guess the woman felt something for you but chemistry was not there with him maybe from what was said he was a bit pushy
just move on

PansyPolly · 05/02/2025 15:17

sixtyandfabulousofcourse · 05/02/2025 14:30

I would just walk away, this is the trouble with 3somes and to be honest you probably had not known each other long enough to really get into this. I guess the woman felt something for you but chemistry was not there with him maybe from what was said he was a bit pushy
just move on

The OP did move on… the thread is 24 pages long and over 6 months old.

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