Boyfriend guilt tripping me for money screenshots

[Banana1979]

My boyfriend is guilt tripping me for money
I have put a screenshot of part of the message
Im in my overdraft and I told him I cannot transfer money from an overdraft to him. I am sick and tired of him asking it’s every other day I’m giving him a tenner or £20
he has told me today he’s starving
I offered to send him an Amazon shop about £15 worth of food until he gets paid next week
and he’s being nasty about it. I’ve said to him I have a child to look after and a lot of rent to pay I do get some universal credit towards the rent but not all as I work
. However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money
I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go. I am sick of this. I feel like I am being used for money he doesn’t do anything for me he doesn’t take me out didn’t buy me a birthday present asks for travel when he comes to see me it’s about £16 both ways tube and bus
he also smokes and is childless. He’s loving and caring when he comes to see me, but I am pretty fed up of him now.
i have a 9 yo DD
I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things, because for some reason I find it difficult to let people go even when they are terrible to me. My dad left when I was younger and I used to smell his T-shirt as a kid and hang onto his clothes, wondering when he was ever going to come back I don’t know if it’s linked to that,the way but I definitely need some kind of fucking help here.
my daughters, father also left me suddenly after 13 years, 3 years ago to go and be with a 21 year old
when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day. I know it’s continue. I just need help to fucking drop him. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m very kind and loving person. Everybody tells me this. I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s. I just feel sad

On a side note, after you DUMPED HIM, you need to seek counselling for your abandonment traumas.

Then focus on yourself and lovely DD.
hugs 🫂

He's probably spending it on drugs and booze. Why doesn't he have money? Can't be arsed to get a job probably. Where's the romance in your relationship? GET RID.

So it's money you can save for her

He IS depriving your daughter of what she needs

This. I cringed just reading it. Why is he always running out of data and money?

when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing

Perfect, he won't be bothering you any more. He is not a threat to himself, he's just manipulating you. Stop putting this man before yourself and YOUR CHILD.

Block him. Ignore. Focus on keeping food in your own fridge.

OP, I hope the replies you’re getting make you realise you’re right to get rid of this excuse for a man.

What he chooses to do once you end your relationship is not your responsibility, you need to get rid of him from your life.

Tell him you’re through and block him on everything, he’s awful and he is using you for money, he’s vile.

This, once you’ve ended it what he decides to do is not your business, if he’s missing you won’t even know because you’ll have blocked him.

OMG @Banana1979 it’s like he’s your surrogate parent! Get rid!

You’ve been a mug. He’s nice when he sees you because he knows he has to keep you sweet so that you keep on sending him money. You are basically paying him to stay with you. Do your dd and yourself a favour and dump this user. Use the money that you used to spend on him on your dd. It’s the summer holidays so a good time to focus your money on her.

You should look into a course like the Freedom programme so that you stop picking losers like your current cocklodger. You deserve better and are setting a terrible example for your dd when she starts dating. You want her picking good men, not clinging onto crappy humans who use people for money. Set.Your.Bar.Higher. Be single and treat yourself with the love and kindness that you deserve 💐

If you really can't say the words "it's over" then just block and ghost him. I'm not a fan of that tactic but he doesn't deserve any better. You might find that easier than having to say it. He won't turn up at your house if you're not paying his fares so no worries on that score!

Didn’t need to read your post to say GET RID of him. Seriously op. What are you thinking, tolerating this sort of bullshit from another adult???!!! Dump him and block, end of.

I'd dump him for his idiotic texting style, never mind anything else. He manages to come across as both affected and illiterate.

Threatening to go missing if you end the relationship is him using coercive control to keep you in the relationship and useful to him

@Banana1979 Why don’t you just block him?!!

Are you saying „I have xx to deal with“ when you are referring to your 9 year old daughter? Shame on you, that poor child being stuck with a mum who prioritises her abusive, illiterate boyfriend over her own child. You wanted a child, you have one - now go on and parent properly by feeding your daughter and caring for her rather than being bothered what this petulant man child wants from you. Block him and ignore him. He’ll find another victim soon enough.

if you are vulnerable or struggle with feeding your family then you can contact local charities or the JobCentre for a food bank voucher. Your main concern should be your own child who at her age totally depends on you. Never mind finding some man who can smell your desperation and then used it. Work on your own self esteem before thinking about dating.

Put your child first.
Stop funding this illiterate ape.

This.

My boyfriend and I had a discussion yesterday about moving in together.

We disclosed all our incoming and outgoings and he offered to pay more than half. He’s actually on paper going to be worse off as he currently has paid off his house and his son contributes towards bills and pays rent so he has no outgoings as such. He’s covering half of all bills here and half of rent/ mortgage and offered to do 60% or more (he earns very slightly more) but I have two children where as his son is adult so I wanted 50/50 split.

I am going to be massively better off. Unlike a poster on here whose boyfriend moved in and then refused to pay.

you have a child - put that child first. Dump him and block him.

dump his arse ( off a cliff) he’s just a pathetic scrounger

I have nothing new to add. The PP have said it all. I would reread your original post though and think what you would say if it was your DD when grown who messaged you this.
You don't need this in your life. And you know it too.
Get rid x

Ah OP. Look, message him saying you don't want to hear from him again. If he pulls the going to jump off a cliff crap, send the police to do a welfare check. They're usually bullshitting anyway and get a shock when they turn up. Then a telling off.

Then block him. He's obviously using something he needs money for. He doesn't need food. Hell find someone else to leech off

Ha get rid. What a waste of Space. As for no one wanting you, that’s not true bit you don’t NEED a man. Dump this one and then spend some time learning to love yourself before getting into another relationship. You have a daughter. All you’re teaching her is that it’s ok to be treated like crap because you can be sure she’s picked up on stuff.

This DOUBLED. DUMP THIS ABUSER.

Honestly all you need to do is message him I have one child and I don’t need another. I wish you well. And block him.

If you dump him by text next time he begs for money because he is broke, he is hardly likely to come bothering you if it costs £8 each way. Unless he tries to dodge the fares and then hopefully he'll get caught. But you know you need to BLOCK HIM after dumping. He hasn't got a key to your place, has he?

You don't need to do anything, OP. Just text him, "We're over" and then block him. On everything.

Stop sending this shithead money that you could be spending on yourself and your kid. Why would you put him above your 9 year old child ffs. Get rid of him.

He is not you boyfriend. He is literally using you for what he can get.

you are taking from yourself and your kids to give to this waste of space.

STOP GIVING HIM MONEY