Boyfriend guilt tripping me for money screenshots

[Banana1979]

My boyfriend is guilt tripping me for money
I have put a screenshot of part of the message
Im in my overdraft and I told him I cannot transfer money from an overdraft to him. I am sick and tired of him asking it’s every other day I’m giving him a tenner or £20
he has told me today he’s starving
I offered to send him an Amazon shop about £15 worth of food until he gets paid next week
and he’s being nasty about it. I’ve said to him I have a child to look after and a lot of rent to pay I do get some universal credit towards the rent but not all as I work
. However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money
I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go. I am sick of this. I feel like I am being used for money he doesn’t do anything for me he doesn’t take me out didn’t buy me a birthday present asks for travel when he comes to see me it’s about £16 both ways tube and bus
he also smokes and is childless. He’s loving and caring when he comes to see me, but I am pretty fed up of him now.
i have a 9 yo DD
I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things, because for some reason I find it difficult to let people go even when they are terrible to me. My dad left when I was younger and I used to smell his T-shirt as a kid and hang onto his clothes, wondering when he was ever going to come back I don’t know if it’s linked to that,the way but I definitely need some kind of fucking help here.
my daughters, father also left me suddenly after 13 years, 3 years ago to go and be with a 21 year old
when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day. I know it’s continue. I just need help to fucking drop him. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m very kind and loving person. Everybody tells me this. I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s. I just feel sad

This ☝ He is using you, simples!!!
You need to get ANGRY.

That will give you strength to see him for what he is, stealing from your child. Block and focus on your DC.
If he has a key, change the barrel lock. Cheap and easy.

@Banana1979 You and your child are worth more than this.
Text him that you're finished and block him immediately on all apps, phone, etc.

If he threatens suicide or harm, tell the police and they'll do a welfare check, but it's pretty standard as a form of control that men like this use to keep you in your place. Don't fall for it.

Put the money you've been giving to him towards counselling so that you learn to make better choices in choosing a dp, and in how you allow yourself to be treated by others.

Good luck 💐👏🏼

@Banana1979 oh love, sending you the biggest hug.

Like everyone is saying, you are worth so much more. You sound great. I know you would not want this for your daughter so show her that it’s not good enough and get rid of him. We are all beside you xx

Those messages 😱
Honestly, even if you never get another second of male attention for the rest of your life it will be better than being stuck with that utter waste of space.

Just block him if you can't find the words to end it. Your daughter should be your only dependent! Good luck.

You realise he doesn't give a shit about you at all? He doesn't care if you're in your overdraft or have no money.
He wouldn't care if you were ill or needed help.
He wouldn't care if something happened and you needed comforting.
All he cares about is how much money he can get from you.

Please just block him and never see him again.
focus on your Dd and your mental well-being. If you stay with him, you're mental well-being will just get worse.

He can't afford food?;well there are food banks to help those in need.

There are better men out there than him OP;please don't stay with him because you're afraid of being lonely/think you won't do better.

Bloch him ! Now !
delete his number in fact call your provider and gets. New number today .

Use the money for trips out with your child
Even a walk a park and a cafe . Anything to lift your mood .
you will be down with Thai idiot and his stress out on you. .

This is your choice OP make changes today .

Block the fuxker, he’s using you, please do this for yourself and work on your self esteem!

I’m going to send him a text with the details of his local mental health organisation
Why? So you can piss him off further and ensure he continues to engage with you?

I’ll probably do need the tough comments
Probably? 🙄
You should have blocked him by now. He can't 'talk you into' continuing the 'relationship' if you don't let him.
Do you really want to teach your daughter that it is better to be with someone who treats you like shit than to be alone? Do you want to raise a strong independant young woman or a doormat?
You do not need a man and the fact that you are more concerned with not being 'picked' by anyone else means you'll continue to attract losers like this. You are worth FAR more than that. Show your dd what a strong capable woman looks like. You can you know.

Yes, do what @Imbusytodaysorry suggests.
Take your Dd out and have fun with her today. Forget this scrounging loser.

Apart from anything else OP why on earth are you allowing anyone to speak to you the way he does in those messages?!! He's essentially calling you a liar over you not being able to transfer money from your overdraft, can you not see how completely out of order that is? Quite apart from the fact that he's not entitled to your money how fucking dare he imply that you're lying?!! You need to get angry, he's not only sponging off you and manipulating you, he's questioning your honesty and character while he's doing it, he's an absolute bottom feeding piece of shit and I'm angry on your behalf Please, please block him and have nothing more to do with him, he's going to drag you down with him if you let him and your DD needs you, do it for her

I'd dump him for his grammar and spelling alone. Is he illiterate?

How old is he? When you say he smokes, I assume you mean weed?

Send him...

I will NEVER send you money again. I have my own financial commitments and you are not one of them. Stop embarrassing yourself by asking and don't contact me again. Leech

Then block him.

If he needs food he can ask his family or go to a good bank. You have your own commitments.

"always something with you"

How dare he?! How fucking dare he have a go at you when he's just asked you for money you obviously need for your DC.

I am raging on your behalf OP.

Please, please show him the door. And please remember you don't own a man any explanation for splitting up if he's treating you badly. "I'm not doing this any more" is enough.

I stayed with my arsehole ex for way too long as he always managed to talk me round. I thought I owed him an explanation for some reason, but I really didn't. Explanations are for when you leave a decent guy, who deserves to know why .This fucker doesn't deserve any more of your energy.

Do you have friends you can lean on for a bit of real life support?

OP Did you do the Freedom Programme after you split up with your daughter's father?
He was very abusive towards you.

It would help you to understand why you're constantly in poor relationships with horrible men.

I very rarely join in with "dump him" comments on Mumsnet. But in this case, I think it's entirely justified. Those texts make it clear this man doesn't care about you, only about controlling you and getting money.

Agreeing with another poster, you don't need a man to be happy. But it's equally fine to want a relationship and I promise there are loads of better options out there. You are not old at 45 and not all men your age want twenty-something women. There will absolutely be someone a hundred times better out there for you if that's what you want. And it sounds like you have a lot more to offer someone than just money. A successful relationship starts with feeling good about yourself, so invest in "you". Connect with friends, take up an evening class.

And finally, don't feel bad about yourself for your current situation. Learn from it and gain confidence from it.

Plus, he charges you travel expenses when he comes to see you? Come on OP, you must know this isn't a relationship. This is a low life, druggie scrounger tapping you for cash and treating you like shit because you let him

Find your anger and dump him

So the fridge that’s supposed to hold food for your child is empty but you are willing to spend money you don’t have on your boyfriend? Your child doesn’t have everything she needs, clearly. She also has a mum who puts the needs of her ungrateful feckless boyfriend over her. You might think she’s fine, but if you put all the money you are spending on this boyfriend into a savings account you could offer her some proper suability later on in life. None of this benefits her. Not the money you are spending or the time and energy that goes into trying to please this boy.

I’m sorry it comes across as harsh but I can never understand people who put men above their children.

@tanjaav

"I very rarely join in with "dump him" comments on Mumsnet. But in this case, I think it's entirely justified. Those texts make it clear this man doesn't care about you, only about controlling you and getting money."

I was about to post exactly the same thing, I wholeheartedly agree and you neatly summarised the situation.

You're spending money on him that you don't have. Money that you could spend on food as you say you have none in or on a holiday for your daughter.

You need to get rid of this bloke - who gives a shit if he 'goes missing', what an arse, he's just emotionally blackmailing you - and start prioritising your daughter.

Stop looking to vile men for happiness. You will never find it there and your daughter deserves 100 times better than a mother fawning over some loser - what message is she learning from all this about relationships and her own importance?

Sounds like a wannabe roadman. The only ‘food’ he’s interested in drugs. I wouldn’t even bother to tell him it’s over. I’d just block him right now.

He’s horrible OP and using you big time

Have some self respect and give him the boot. The UC you get is for you and your DD not for him.

How about -

"Fuck off you scrounging git."