Boyfriend guilt tripping me for money screenshots

[Banana1979]

My boyfriend is guilt tripping me for money
I have put a screenshot of part of the message
Im in my overdraft and I told him I cannot transfer money from an overdraft to him. I am sick and tired of him asking it’s every other day I’m giving him a tenner or £20
he has told me today he’s starving
I offered to send him an Amazon shop about £15 worth of food until he gets paid next week
and he’s being nasty about it. I’ve said to him I have a child to look after and a lot of rent to pay I do get some universal credit towards the rent but not all as I work
. However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money
I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go. I am sick of this. I feel like I am being used for money he doesn’t do anything for me he doesn’t take me out didn’t buy me a birthday present asks for travel when he comes to see me it’s about £16 both ways tube and bus
he also smokes and is childless. He’s loving and caring when he comes to see me, but I am pretty fed up of him now.
i have a 9 yo DD
I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things, because for some reason I find it difficult to let people go even when they are terrible to me. My dad left when I was younger and I used to smell his T-shirt as a kid and hang onto his clothes, wondering when he was ever going to come back I don’t know if it’s linked to that,the way but I definitely need some kind of fucking help here.
my daughters, father also left me suddenly after 13 years, 3 years ago to go and be with a 21 year old
when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day. I know it’s continue. I just need help to fucking drop him. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m very kind and loving person. Everybody tells me this. I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s. I just feel sad

BlocK him. He’s evil. You don’t need a partner. You’ll be fine alone.

I mean this with all the best intentions OP, but it's time to grow up. You really don't HAVE to have a man to be happy. Especially one as shit as this, who would take food from the mouth of a child.
Forget about men for now, and concentrate on building a better future for yourself and your child.
This current man is of zero benefit to you. Not to mention completely illiterate. I could barely understand a word of his messages. He's a cock lodger who thinks you're an ATM machine. Think about the message you're giving your daughter and the men you're surrounding her with.

You're 45 years old. You don't need scraps of attention from a druggy, alcoholic waster.

Yep.

He, and all his ilk, are far too fucking selfish, self absorbed and egotistical to ever do any harm to themselves. It's purely and always a blackmail/manipulation tactic. Don't fall for it!

Dont waste time thinking about it. Just dump him. He is a user and is taking money out of your childs mouth.
A decent man would not dream of begging a single mum for money. I expect he is spending it on booze and fags.

@Banana1979 just block him. You don't need to dump him nicely, you just need to get rid. No worries about him coming to have it out with you either given that you said in your op he begs money off you to visit you.

You do deserve better. You need to believe that.

You own him nothing OP you can just step away

Part of your role as a parent is also to show your children how to behave in relationships and also how they should expect a partner to behave towards them.

Supporting a partner through a difficult time financially as part of a loving, respectful relationship is one thing. Scrounging off your partner and making threats when they don't get what they want, is quite another. You need to show your child that it's fine to be caring and generous, but that it's important to also have boundaries and to recognise when things aren't mutual.

Point him to the food bank!

When you hit the menopause you’ll think differently.

Ask yourself ‘do I want to do x’
if the answer is no - then don’t do it.

Also, people pleasers aren’t all that - they are annoying because you never get a straight answer and if you tell them your woes they try to fix it for you - we don’t want thinks fixed - we want you to listen!!!

This is why you end up with losers.

Stop trying to fix a 56 year old.

I'd dump him for the way he texts alone! You have to know you're worth more than a man sponging off of you like this.

You will do better being single, focus on your daughter and when the right man comes alone he will respect you, won't be hassling you for money and will understand your worth.

You're coming across as a desperate doormat. He's pathetic.

He’s a real life bum. Ditch him

Frankly OP if he went missing from your life he'd be doing you a favour - he's an illiterate money sponge and you and your DD deserve far better. You sound like an intelligent, kind woman and a brilliant mum. Focus on you and her and put him out of your life.

Losing people is hard.... but sometimes staying with them is harder

I'm so sorry you've been let down by men. Time to stand up for yourself.

Ah.

It can take several attempts for women to leave a domestic abuser. Maybe we should extend the same courtesy to this OP and keep encouraging her to finish the relationship. They may not live together, but this is like a form of financial abuse as it's taking funds from OP and her DD.

You can do this OP.

What did I miss, why would the 1979 make him older than 53

He is using you. Block and no doubt some of your depression will lift. That's enough to make anyone depressed.

No no I think the op was born in 1979 making him older x

Dump him.

Block him.

You've said you're going to provide him with the contact details for the local mental health teams. I think you should probably contact them yourself to request counselling regarding your low self-esteem. I mean this kindly and I'm not trying to stick the boot in when you're low.

The messages arnt making any sense to me. Not exactly a catch is he ? Who wants a skint boyfriend

There might be many reasons why somebody has a skint boyfriend - e.g. currently studying to better himself, doing a job in a worthy but underpaid field, recently made redundant, etc.

This guy is a parasite and the OP might be one of many women that he rinses out for cash each week - £10 here, £50 there, another £20. Before you know it, he could be taking £200+ a week off various women.

My wise old mum told me that ‘no man is better than the wrong one’ . There is nothing wrong with you , please don’t settle for this sad excuse of a man. Build your own happy little world with you and your daughter, setting her a good example of what is acceptable and what isn’t. Don’t allow him to make you feel this way.

another way to look at it- if your daughter was say in her 20’s and came to tell you a man was doing this to her, what would you say to her? Would you say he sounds like a keeper or that she should kick him to the kerb FAST

Without reading this entire thread, I can assume he is either into drink or drugs. I was sad enough to date an alcoholic once (didn't know he was at the start) and he guilted me into sending him money as he said he had no money for food. I sent him £50 and he called me the next day and was clearly drunk.

Why do so many women put up with inadequate men? Men who sponge off them to the detriment of their own children. Apart from anything else it is sending the kids the wrong message about relationships which should be a two way street with both partners pulling their weight. What makes this bloke such a great catch? Does he think he's found a meal-ticket for life?

Sack him off now before you get in too deep. You don't live together and for all you know he might have a string of women paying his way for him. You are much better off (personally and financially) being single than putting up with a waste of skin like him.

DON'T give him anything else except the elbow and do it now.

Yep. As he only sees the OP when she’s pays for his travel expenses, he could be making a nice living out of having several women on the go.

Nk idea how these vile scum bags attract women but they seem to have an endless supply

Block and ignore. You are not responsible for him or his mental health.
He is using you.
You sound like a nice person . But you need to put yourself and your child first