Boyfriend guilt tripping me for money screenshots

[Banana1979]

My boyfriend is guilt tripping me for money
I have put a screenshot of part of the message
Im in my overdraft and I told him I cannot transfer money from an overdraft to him. I am sick and tired of him asking it’s every other day I’m giving him a tenner or £20
he has told me today he’s starving
I offered to send him an Amazon shop about £15 worth of food until he gets paid next week
and he’s being nasty about it. I’ve said to him I have a child to look after and a lot of rent to pay I do get some universal credit towards the rent but not all as I work
. However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money
I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go. I am sick of this. I feel like I am being used for money he doesn’t do anything for me he doesn’t take me out didn’t buy me a birthday present asks for travel when he comes to see me it’s about £16 both ways tube and bus
he also smokes and is childless. He’s loving and caring when he comes to see me, but I am pretty fed up of him now.
i have a 9 yo DD
I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things, because for some reason I find it difficult to let people go even when they are terrible to me. My dad left when I was younger and I used to smell his T-shirt as a kid and hang onto his clothes, wondering when he was ever going to come back I don’t know if it’s linked to that,the way but I definitely need some kind of fucking help here.
my daughters, father also left me suddenly after 13 years, 3 years ago to go and be with a 21 year old
when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day. I know it’s continue. I just need help to fucking drop him. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m very kind and loving person. Everybody tells me this. I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s. I just feel sad

There is a future out there waiting for you where you are without this manchild holding you back and making you miserable. You'll be happier, it will be better for your DD, you'll have more cash to spend on her and you.

Make it happen.

If you want a starter for 10: "This isn't working for me anymore. I need to prioritise my daughter and myself. So it's over between us. Please don't contact me again". Then block. And get a ring doorbell.

He’s a ponce. He’s a grown man and he’s poncing off a single mum who’s on partial benefits. He’s a pathetic excuse for a man. And on top of that, he’s got the gall to say that it’s always something with you! Aren’t you embarrassed of him?

when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing He’s not going missing any more than you are. He’s too selfish. It’s emotional blackmail, done in the knowledge that you’ll back down and give him what he wants. If he threatens to do anything stupid, phone the police and let them deal with it. He won’t threaten that again if he thinks the police are going to be banging on his door for a welfare check each time he does it.

If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day So he knows you have abandonment issues and he uses those to squeeze money out of you? Wow. That’s fucking low. He’s an absolute cockroach. Let him ignore you. If he’s ignoring you, he’s not in your life.

I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s I think you are attracted to horrible people because it’s familiar. You’re used to it and you will keep repeating that pattern until you learn how to break it. You will keep picking the same sort of men and you will keep having the same sort of problems. You need to do the Freedom Project.

ETA if a man your age is only interested in dating women in their twenties, that means there is something wrong with him and you shouldn’t even consider going near him.

Why are you afraid to be single?

You have a child are giving this waste of space money which can be used on them.

You are putting this man and his needs over your own child.

You are not being a good parent.
Some people don’t deserve to have kids.

Stop thinking with your vagina and put your kid first.
Learn to be single and wait until you find someone half decent if you want another relationship.

He’s not your boyfriend.
He’s a user who takes everything that he can off someone ie you.
He knows you are weak so manipulates you.
Get shut of him.Block on all devices.

What kind of loser man asks a woman for money?! Yuck!

Get rid of him.
Never give men money.

Ps: no one in their 20s wants to date a 45 year old with no money.

@Banana1979 Are you afraid of him or what he might do if you try to end the relationship?

What would you say if your daughter was dating this kind of man? Think carefully about that bc its what you’re modeling to her is a normal romantic relationship so it could be her future too.

In other words-you’re worth so much more than this.

Christ, GET RID! Surely you'd rather be single than miserable with someone who's like that. Do yourself and favour and dump him quickly.

You are insane if you don’t dump him.

You are 45 and in a relationship with a man who texts like an illiterate teenager?

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt by guessing that English isn't his first language, but seriously, that's embarrassing. Just end it. It would be pretty hard to do much worse than this.

This, a hundred times over.

He's a user.

My assumption is he is;
unemployed
cannabis user
smoker
likes a drink

yes?

It really isn't that complicated OP, you are making it difficult. Text and say the relationship is over, block him and move on. Do not send him details of mental health organisations/help lines etc, he is more than capable of sourcing those himself. All you would be doing is continuing the narrative of 'its your job to look after him'. If he goes missing, whatever that means, it's not your problem. Stop communicating with him and move on. He will soon find someone else to leech off, unfortunately.

You want help to break this cycle OP?

If you aren't strong enough to just dump hom, god alone knows why, just tell him you are in your overdraft every time he asks for money.

Sorry can't send travel money DD needs cash to go out
Sorry can't send money in overdraft
Sorry can't send money rent to pay
Sorry can't send money in overdraft

Keep saying no.

He will dump you after two weeks

Problem solved

Couldn't have put it better myself!

Please be kind to yourself, he doesn’t deserve you. Dump him and block.

Are you dating my 18 year old son? That boy be hitting me up every day or two for 20 quid with the lamest excuses thinking I'm too dumb to know he's trying to have me fund his weed habit 😅 Exact same thing, tells me he's hungry so I offer to send food, tells me he's out of credit so I offer to send him a topup voucher but no solution is good enough, just wants the money 🙄 Kid thinks I was born yesterday. I wasn't and neither were you - put your foot down and tell him you're not his limitless bank and at his age, the only person he should be taking money from is an EMPLOYER. Know your worth. Stay single til you find the right man. Single is better than used, manipulated and broke! Look up Anxious Attachment Style and nip this in the bud immediately.

You mention you have a daughter - what advice would you give her if she came to you with this situation? Take that advice yourself. Be her example. He's bringing nothing to the table, let him eat (or starve) alone 💯💜 xx

Even if not taking into account him demanding money off you (like, wtf??) - why are you with someone who writes like that?? He sounds idiotic, barely human. Dump the thick entitled twat.

He’s a waste of space. Bin the loser.

Focus everything you have on your DD!!

However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money

Simple, spongers and scroungers always blame other people, responsibility is not for them and the system still keeps feeding their habits like smoking with free money.

as an old song says "Get a Job"! Stop sending him money. Stop telling him about your finance. Stop inviting him to visit. Now add up how much money you'll save each month and Dump Him.

Is this the same person whom you posted about before, in April and May? If not, please please stop getting into these relationships, take time to invest in yourself, get some therapy, do the Freedom Programme?

You come across as a reasonable, intelligent and kind person, why are you with someone who can barely write?

It’s not good for your DD to witness this and learn that this is how relationships look like.

Oh ffs, get rid, now. Th texts made me want to throw up.

As my old uncle used to say, “he’s as thick as shit and twice as nasty”. He’s an illiterate moron. Do yourself a favour, dump him, work on yourself and aim higher next time.