Me again-8 husband shaming me for history continued

[Wafflepies]

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5120486-husband-being-nasty-about-my-past?page=14&reply=136908235 www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5120486-husband-being-nasty-about-my-past?page=14&reply=136908235

It's me again with another new thread and new username. Have linked previous thread above.

I doubt he'd google my username but still felt I couldn't carry on speaking incase.

He isn't angry with me for starting the thread
But extremely defensive about the comments.

What do you want OP? Are you looking for him to realise what a cunt he’s been and to apologise and then build the relationship up again?

Or did he go too far and do you want out?

He has no right to be angry about you starting a thread anyway. How is he being defensive? What is he saying? Has he acknowledged he has changed recently? Have you now told him he has to stop obsessing over your past? That you won’t tolerated being disrespected in your own home any more and especially in front of the DC?

💐

OK so why are you staying? I know some people live for drama but why? It sounds exhausting

He’s a misogynistic piece of shit. If my partner - no even if a bloke I was casually shagging - called me a slut he’d he out so fast his feet wouldn’t touch the ground.

What are you going to do about it ?

What do you want from this thread?

you know what he did was wrong, plenty of people have told you so.

I can't believe he read your phone and you're now hiding a new thread from him Op. He's utterly disrepectful and you shouldn't be worried he's feelings are hurt by MN , he deserves to be called out for his horrible views.
The AT bunch think a woman's only value is being young, pretty and untouched because they don't see her having any attainments of her own, no value in her skills, IQ, job advancement, all that should be the men's place. Only an abusive and/or deeply insecure man thinks that way. Do you really want thst as a role model for your DC?

OP, you stated on your other thread that you were going to set up a new thread (or words to that effect), so it's highly likely that your husband will find this one too as he will absolutely not be able to help himself but seek out the old one on his phone phone and be reading through it - the title of this new one is also a bit of a giveaway, in my opinion.

Take all the advice given to you and leave.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like his brain has been completely and utterly warped, poisoned, by a cult. I strongly advise you do not hang around to see if your husband can change (it sounds highly unlikely given he is 'defensive' about the other thread.) He's not one for taking personal responsibility for his words and actions by the looks of things, and it's impossible to have a stable and healthy relationship with someone like this.

Not to mention the damage he has already done to your marriage. Forgiving someone who is truly remorseful after dreadful behaviour is often a difficult task, but when there is no remorse it becomes impossible, not just difficult.💐

Right. So what are you going to do, complain or act?

I think the OP just wants some ongoing support. Very understandable. But there's not much more if any, advice to give. I have observed the way our society is being led by far right people who persuade the lesser intellects that tolerance is a negative thing. It's worrying to think that it's so easy to persuade the gullible to hate women, hate migrants, hate LGBTQ people, hate the poor and disabled. Whether it's Tate, Farage or that horrible little racist man, these people are dangerous. We as a nation did a lot to encourage tolerance over the years but it's been going the other way for some time now. OP please take your children and move in with family. You don't want to be near him after you separate anyway, do you? Just leave, there is no way to reason with a man like this and you're just delaying the inevitable. And more harm potentially for you and your children.

You were given good advice in the last thread. I don't know what more anyone can say to be honest.

He isn't angry with me for starting the thread
But extremely defensive about the comments.

Well he has no issue with shaming women for normal sexual behaviour or 'slutty walks' or whatever other crap for him to come out with.

Time for him to learn that many people think men like him with incel attitudes are completely pathetic even though he's convinced himself that he's more superior to women.

He's the fucked up one, not you.

The AT bunch think a woman's only value is being young, pretty and untouched

Well, that's not actually true.

AT sees the value in pimping women out.

He boasts about doing it.

He also boasts about injuring them.

Maybe he'll only marry a young virgin.
So he gets a young virgin; and his young virgin wife gets a volatile, violent, ex pimp for a husband. What could be wrong with that??

Remember the main rule of red pill, incel etc.

You (women) should be what we want you to be.
We (men) should be wherever the fuck we want to be.

*a volatile, violent, ex pimp who's spending an increasing amount of time in police stations and holding cells.

But he's a HIGH VALUE man, right?

OP, I have skimmed your other thread, it sounds as if this man has been drawn into the Andrew Tate cult or something similar.
I'm not sure if he is salvageable.
Ultimately only you can decide if or when to cut your losses.
I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this ridiculous behavior from him ☹️

Also, have you ever listened to AT "speaking" i.e. ranting like a not very bright teenage boy who's somewhere on the spectrum (in it's most negative manifestation) for even a minute?

Just his manner would have a sane person feeling extremely uncomfortable and thinking he's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

He's the sort of person you'd be instinctively sidling away from and putting as much space as possible between you (and your loved ones) and him, if you met him as a randomer in public. His vibe is unhinged.

See any of the comments on videos of him on YouTube...and see other men taking the absolute piss of him and saying he's crazy.

If that's not your response to AT and his bozos, you need to be concerned about your own mental health and instincts.

What did he say about everything that was written on the thread?

I started another thread because there were many, many replies on my previous one that I hadn't had a chance to respond to l. I felt it was a bit rude to just end it when people had gone to the time to try and help me.

Plus, as possible said, it's just helpful for me to talk about this because I'm struggling.

I know no one can tell me what to do ect.

He doesn't really care that i started the thread But he was just saying how extreme the comments were, they didn't know him ect ect.

I told him how much I hate when he talks about Andrew tate ect and that he shouldn't watch that stuff.

He said he only watched clips and doesn't really anymore.

Maintains that anyone would be annoyed about the picture thing.

Maintains that he has a right to know about my past ect..he does though so don't know why he is saying this again.

He's playing it down a bit

But he was just saying how extreme the comments were

They're not extreme at all.

His beliefs and behaviour is extreme, however.

OK so I posted on your other thread.

Here it is!

All I know is if it was me living with this shit, I'd tell him to pipe the fuck down and grow the fuck up or fuck off! And good luck trying to find someone who meets his unattainable ideals, it'll be a sad lonely single life for him. I think by this point I'd know I was done with him though.

Maintains that anyone would be annoyed about the picture thing.

If I have it right, you sent a tame sexy pic to a man you were seeing.

If he is annoyed about that, he needs to date and marry women who have no previous relationship or sexual experience.

And that would make him a huge hypocrite - because he has relationship and sexual experience himself.
It would also put him in a very tiny minority of people in this county/region of the world. People who are usually extremely religious, which he is apparently not.

Sorry OP but he's a man cunt. If any bloke tried to control me in this way I'd show him the door. He called you a slut! How dare he??

My ex called me a slut for having a night out with old friends. A night out which consisted of a catch up, a meal in a restaurant and a couple of alcohol free drinks and I was home by 10pm. Notice he's an ex.

Maintains that anyone would be annoyed about the picture thing

Well, a bunch of us on here are "anyone" and none of us can see what you did wrong other than feeling pressured into doing something you didn't want to do.

I hope you husband reads this: he's a straight up bell end!

The photo was me in some underwear....not even doing a sexy pose...and my face wasn't in it

Maintains that he has a right to know about my past ect..he does though so don't know why he is saying this again.

Some people have the view that no-one has a right to know someone's sexual past.

Some people, like myself, think it's reasonable to know a bit about it, so that can form part of your decision in whether you're suited to a ltr and marriage.

He knows your past, and he had sex with you, pursued a serious relationship with you, married you, and brought children into the world with you, knowing it.

What is new?

What has changed?

He has no right to raise anything about it now, it's way way too late.

Him repeatedly raising it and castigating you for it is abusive, in fact.

(And if he has the right to know about your past, you have the right to know about his past. Which you apparently do. And he has sexual experience too, so - again - he's a hypocrite to have a problem with yours).

Get rid OP. You'll be happier on your own away from that abusive misogynist