Struggling this morning with DP correcting me, pulling me up on everything, rewriting history (with absolute insistence this is what happened), havjng the last word……
On holiday. It’s beautiful and we are having a lovely time. Apart from the niggly comments. I am ignoring these mostly. But in the end I had to say I am struggling with the endless slightly irritable comments. For example I just bought a (very touristy!) ceramic colourful olive oil bottle to take home as a nice memento of our trip. DP said let’s fill it with olive oil and use it here on holiday. I said mmm not sure that’s a great idea. Putting an oily bottle in our suitcase to take home. I can envisage a bit of oil (even if we wash it out) maybe getting on our clothes. He huffs and says fine we will do things your way as usual! I say well I just don’t want oil on our clothes as it would ruin them. He says “fine fine I’ve learned better than to argue. I know you like to insist on having your own way!” I ask if everything is OK and why all the irritable comments. He says he isn’t being irritable at all. I say well OK then, but I don’t always insist on my own way. I just don’t go on about it when I don’t “get my own way”. For instance not two minutes earlier I had said how it would be nice to eat at one of the nice hotels we walked past earlier and maybe book a table for tonight. DP had completely overruled me and said “no hotels don’t do great food. They’ll be fine for a drink and enjoy the view and then we can eat somewhere else.” I had replied yes but it’s not just about the food. It’s the service and the nice tablecloths and the setting etc. He had said you can have all that somewhere else. We’ll have a drink there and move on somewhere else. Shut me down basically, but I just agreed.
But when I said this is a perfect example of me not “getting my own way” and that stuff like this happens all the time but I don’t mention it or make shitty comments about it, he suddenly started rewriting history and saying he absolutely hadn’t said we won’t eat there. I was like eerrr that’s exactly what you said! You said the food won’t be that good as it never is at hotels and we can have a drink and move somewhere else! No no no. That’s not what he said at all, apparently! In fact he had said let’s see what the food is like and then we can decide!
I was like darling that may have been what you thought but I can assure you that’s not what you said. You most definitely said we will have a drink there but not eat there. I promise you this is what you said. But he won’t have it. Keeps insisting he said we would look at the menu and make a decision and how it would be silly to rule out eating there and we should keep our options open. 😧
But this is a completely different conversation to the one we had! Completely different!!! But he’s absolutely insistent this is what he said and he won’t entertain a scenario when that isn’t the case and gets quite annoyed when I suggest it wasn’t that.
I know this is just a stupid petty married squabble. It wasn’t even a squabble as I just let it go. As I usually do. But it is grating on me. We’re having a nice holiday. It’s fine for him to overrule something I’d like to do. Then get shitty with me and tell me I insist on getting my own way all the time. Which is certainly not the case! And when I give an example (in the last five minutes!) of me not getting my own way all the time by any means, he then rewrites an entire conversation. But he seems to genuinely believe that this fabricated version is real. I can’t understand how he thinks this is the conversation we had. It’s nothing like it! But as he is never wrong then it must be me who forces him to my will at all times and poor beleaguered DP just has to put up with me!!!
Does anyone fancy joining me on holiday?? I’m about to drown my DP so I will have space for one more if you fancy it!!!! 🤣 (I promise I am quite easy going and don’t insist on having my own way!)