My husband has been really strange recently.
Keeps asking me questions about my past, bringing things up that I said years ago and generally being horrible about it.
So, from the very beginning, I've always been honest with him about everything. He knew from very early on about all my previous relationships, sexual history ect, which I think is all very normal. He was fine with it then. Went on to marry me so must have been!⁶
For some reason he is now deciding he isn't okay with a lot of things, is very insecure and angry and is blaming me for my past.
I won't mention everything because it will be too long. But for example,
The other night he kept asking me questions about this one guy that I was seeing before him (it wasn't even serious).
Apparently I'd said that he was handsome when we saw him on a night out 8 years ago when we were first dating. I vaguely remember this. Not a great comment from me but I had had a few drinks and this guy had said hi to me and my husband had mentioned how unattractive he was (he isn't at all). He knew I had been with him, I got a bit defensive and said he isn't. I get why that is annoying but it was also 8 bloody years ago. Who cares now?!
He kept saying how I would still be with him if he hadn't had a girlfriend( he didn't tell me this and I ended it when I found out).
There was a bit of back and forth and I went to bed after getting fed up.
He stormed in, risked waking me and the baby up, saying "is he the one you sent that photo to?" (I told him years ago I'd sent one photo my entire life of myself in my underwear). I said yes.
He stormed out and the next day was fuming. Wouldn't speak to me at first, then began saying how he must have been so special, I should have kept my clothes on, I should be ashamed ect.
He is annoyed because he has asked me to send photos in the past but I've always said I don't like to, it makes me uncomfortable and I just don't want to. I have done it a few times but never was something I was into or wanted. I did it for him. But it's not good enough apparently because I only did it after years of him asking...
He asked why I did it for this other guy (only one picture and nothing rude), I told him I didn't want to either, I felt pressured and was too young and silly to say no.
I feel I have the right to say no now even if I did in the past? And it was only once anyway.
I don't feel I should be pressured into sending photos when I'm not comfortable. He is my husband and should respect that surely.
I feel like he has no respect for me. He shames me and makes me feel guilty about having a past, which I feel is just normal relationship stuff as anyone would have experienced.
It's like he's so disappointed in me for being with other people. I shouldn't have told him about them but it was years ago and he asked me!! I wanted to be honest and now it's being held against me.
I don't know why or where this has all come from? Why is he worried about this random guy. Saying things like, why don't you marry him instead, why would you do that for him and not me?
There's been many other similar outbursts. It's so exhausting and it feels really unfair. He makes me feel like I'm not good enough because of my history and I can't change it. He's so angry and jealous. I've been completely faithful and loyal to him since we met. I don't know what his problem is lately. It's come out of nowhere
Sorry, I really just need to rant.