Being so tight with money - part 2

[Rockrose94]

Hi all, starting a new thread as the first one on AIBU is nearly full !😱
I copied my original post below but basically my ex is a tight ass who has been financially manipulative and controlling my wine and butter consumption (😂). I ended things yesterday after the hundreds of responses on my OP shedding the light on how bad it was. I need to sort all the practicalities etc but I have went to stay with family to have some space from him. I am obviously still feeling a bit confused but I know he isn't capable of change as even during his grovelling he is still blaming me. So onwards and upwards!

My OP:
For context I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we live together and split the rent / bills 50/50. Our take home pay is very similar and I have an extra outgoing of my car finance which he does not. We effectively keep our finances completely separate, I worry how this will work long term as he has said he does not want to share finances at all as he has more savings.

Anyway the main issue just now is 1) he has bought me dinner once in 4 years, for my 30th birthday present. I took him on a foreign holiday and presents for his 30th. I have paid for nights away and meals for us several times when he has said he can't afford it as I wanted to treat him. I don't do this often any more as it's never been reciprocated 2) we split all food shops evenly but usually do our own meals during the week as I am dieting. He just stood for half an hour itemising up every item on the food shops over the weekend to come to the point that I owe him £2.50. Note that he will charge me half of the food we share but he would likely eat 2/3 of the meal. AIBU to be tired of this? It feels so tight , do other people itemise everything and charge their partner almost to the penny?!

I hope you're going to enjoy a nice MASSIVE bottle of wine tonight in the company of your family. And get the Lurpak in.

Well done OP on getting out

Bought some Lurpak myself yesterday and actually thought of you OP.
To be fair I’ve hidden it under a packet of salad no one else will want!
But if they did I won’t be charging per knob.

I'm glad your original thread was so helpful & you have now seen the light. Best of luck for the future - with as much wine and butter as you want!!

Just placemarking for updates! :) Also love your summary. Very on point!

I love that Lurpak is obviously the butter of choice for us all too 😁

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Perhaps suggest he considers a trip to Lidl for Danpak? It's the closest dupe and much cheaper!

He can probably still afford to spring for the Lurpak now that he doesn't have someone leeching off of him and eating it all 😂

Oh yes, good point. He can ration it out in appropriate sized portions while gleefully remembering how much easier his life is without you sponging off him.

well done, OP

My favourite butter is Anchor. Though I preferred it when it had more of a yellow colour. If there's no Anchor then I'll have Graham's or Country Life. Not keen on Lurpak.

OP, good for you in getting out of there. When you clear your head and look back you will be amazed that he had you hoodwinked for so long. You are so worth more.

I bought some unsalted Lurpak yesterday, I can't decide which one I like best out of salted and unsalted. And, Well done op!

Just wait until he has to pay his first month's rent and bills by himself. He'll either be on his knees begging or rage texting about how much you've cost him, you selfish bitch.

Another one placemarking for updates!

Well done OP! In my experience people like this never change. It just gives me the massive ick 🤢

Following for updates

You are well shot of him. I was involved with someone like that and jumped ship when I started seeing what he was like with money and I've never regretted it. Thankfully we never moved in together, but he never put his hand in his pocket for anything and I remember staying the night once and came down to find him cooking breakfast for himself and not me as it was too expensive. The final straw for me was when he admitted he had looked up the value of my property and worked out if I sold it I could pay the majority of his mortgage off and "we could then split the rest of the payments between us".

😂😂 there's a thought that's actually pretty funny! Will cost him much more than the £2.50 he lost hes shit over.

Yuk

President butter all the way!

Look for yellow butter as this indicates grass fed cattle and higher levels of Vit K2, a really important vitamin for good health.

This is the start of your new life @Rockrose94. Of course you'll be feeling unsure and wobbly, you've been with him for 4 years but you are doing SO well. Just think of the freedom you'll have.....free to drink as much wine and eat as much Lurpak as you want 😂 without someone pursing their lips and judging you!

That’s great news, @Rockrose94. Onwards and upwards!

well done! onwards and upwards!!

Oooo! You need to try Kerrygold. That is some good tasting butter.