Sooo not sure where to start in all honesty,
I have been with my husband for 11yrs married for 6yrs,
After a year of being together he told me that he was currently paying the full morgage himself still after a few yrs of separating from his ex girlfriend,
Where his 3 children lived at the time
I felt uncomfortable with the situation but understood it was for his children until they became adults!
They are now 28, 26, 21, & all still live at home with there mum,
So before we were married we had a conversation that was around his home with his ex girlfriend & he said once that when the youngest is at the age of 18 I think he said
Then he would start to consider what to do with the property,
So basically that was neally 4yrs ago,
So one day after constantly thinking sooo what is happening....
But at the same time feeling anxious because is it really any of my buisness
But I am his wife...
And the thought process was slowly getting to me,
So me having a thought process
Now knowing the (morgage is clear & paid in full) by my husband alone,
I decided to look for the deeds to the house that at this point had disappeared 😕
Ok so this is were it now starts to get extremely hard for me...
So on approaching the situation or at least trying too,
I said what's happening to the house
Which he replied nothing...
Apart from leaving it into a trust fund for his 3 adult children
And that because of fees he decided against,
Apparently after a meeting with the ex girlfriend that I knew nothing about! I was like wow ok you have spoken about the house ok,
So I found this out end of April
Ok so now the struggle is real,
She has 6 paying adults living in there home
Including her boyfriend who has lived there for about 3yrs & the boyfriends son,
I honestly cannot get my head round it for the kids now
I just cant
This situation just seems so unfair on us and is putting a huge strain on us
Or more me should I say,
As he seems to be buring the whole thing
Say nothing keep the peace right
From his prospective,
It feels to me as though he is protecting the ex
And now putting her feelings before my own his wife,
If was to mention that it's only fair she re-morgages so my husband has something for his/our future
I would get she can't afford it...
Thats not his problem is it..??
Or his burden to carry...
We have been together 11yrs
And we have not had our honeymoon from being married 6yrs ago,
There is just no effort
But obviously feel as though he's bending over backwards to protect her
It's a 4 bedroom house with a value of at least £360k
I honestly just feel like there's 3 of us in this marriage now
And I feel completely low & cheated
He is aware of this but again nothing had happened since our chat in April & I dont think it will
Different scenario
But my 1st husband of 22yrs had an affair
It ended immediately
This kinda feels the same but diffrent circumstances,
If you know what I mean...
Sorry for the long read
I just need help/advice
As i feel i am hanging on by a thread literally
And feel hurt that he is doing nothing!!
The morgage was clear 2yrs ago I think
I also have a car on finance which is £360 mth,
Finance in hubby's name
I have 2 yrs left of a 4yrs agreement to which I'm reminded most months to transfer soon as im paid
Which i do but obviously the ex
Dosent get asked for anything !!
It's like a punch to the stomach
I'm his wife..n
But this whole thing just seems so so wrong...
Am i being a fool 🤔
Just totally disrespected i think!
I am now resenting him & the whole situation
As i think I'm expected to put up & shut up!
Which i have for a long time
But I feel
Angry, upset, betrayed, disrespected,
I don't know what to do
But I'm certain all all going to come to a head soon
Thankyou for reading
I'd appreciate feedback/honesty
Xxx