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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I respond to the ex who destroyed me

149 replies

ResetandRestart · 02/07/2024 13:59

Back story in brief.
My ex who I planned my future with, continued to break trust within our relationship with his female friend (alot of messaging and 1am facetime calls only when he wasnt with me arranging to meet up with her but never telling me he had plans not answering her calls if i was there etc) we broke up because of this i just didnt trust him and he never understood the issue.. 5 months later we rekindled after he blocked and unblocked me multiple times during those 5 months (I wanted to get us help to fix our issues he said my mental health was too low and it was not fixable then he would listen to me cry but ultimately block me again) we rekindled for 2 weeks, taking it slow but chatting daily and meeting twice. His ex girlfriend before me rang me unexpectedly one evening after we rekindled and told me that him and her had been sleeping together for the duration of our breakup and he was back in touch with her from day 1 of us splitting up, he promised her the world, turns out it was true and when questioned he said "I said whatever I had to say to get what I wanted" which was sex.....and he promised her all the things she wanted in the future (kids house etc) anyway....

Fast forward to now
We chatted a few days ago. He told me he thinks of me all the time, the love he has for me will never leave, we caught up on what's been going on blah blah blah and he suggested we spend some time together enjoy each others company and have fun (sex) with no expectations...the absolute ego on this man is ridiculous....the sex was terrible, his chat was terrible and there is absolutely no win here for me but he wants me to spend time with him, have sex with him and have no expectations....clearly its what he wants however I'm not into that.. when I met him he knew I was seeking my future partner.....

What do I reply? I need a quick witty full of self confidence and self worth reply...before I block him obviously

OP posts:
Beenhereforever1978 · 02/07/2024 14:00

Nothing. Block and move on. Enjoy your life!

Apileofballyhoo · 02/07/2024 14:01

I'm just not that into you.

Starlightstarbright3 · 02/07/2024 14:04

I would just block ..

Any response suggests you care.

Bettedaviseyes111 · 02/07/2024 14:04

I wouldn’t bother engaging in any response at all if you have no interest in him left, otherwise it will just lead to more dialogue. Don’t message and go cold turkey.

thestudio · 02/07/2024 14:04

Hey! Good to hear from you. I'll pass though - If i wanted strings-free sex I would find someone who was good at it.

UpUpUpU · 02/07/2024 14:05

No thanks. Im dating someone.

thestudio · 02/07/2024 14:05

Haha everyone's much more mature than me.

I'd still like to plant that permanent seed of doubt tho Grin

robinsnest1967 · 02/07/2024 14:06

Who dis?

Pantaloons99 · 02/07/2024 14:06

Block and don't reply. The ultimate power lies in your silence and doing everything to move on. Don't get drawn into these silly immature games OP

HowIrresponsible · 02/07/2024 14:07

Don't reply. Silence says it all. You didn't care enough to bother replying.

FakeMiddleton · 02/07/2024 14:10

Leave him on two blue ticks/read. And block.

icelolly12 · 02/07/2024 14:10

If you really feel the need to message him say something along the lines of

"Nah sorry, I've moved onto bigger and better. Have a nice life 😘"

Cerialkiller · 02/07/2024 14:10

If he 'destroyed' you, why are you wasting a second of your time on him.

This is what he does, he even admitted it. He messes girls around, promises them whatever they ask/need just to get in their pants then messes with their heads, gaslights them done more, then moves on to the next one.

Block him, he will HATE that more then anything. Hope you can spend some time with yourself and heal.

ResetandRestart · 02/07/2024 14:17

Silence is powerful everyone your all right however I have this massive desire to send such a kick ass reply back..... maybe I shouldn't though maybe I should be silent because I've never done that before...

However some of these responses are golden xxx

OP posts:
DiscontinuedModelHusband · 02/07/2024 14:19

normal answer on here would be a simple thumbs up emoji, but in this instance a thumbs down seems more appropriate

then block

HarrytheHobbit · 02/07/2024 14:26

You don't do anything. Block, move on and don't give him any power over you.

ResetandRestart · 02/07/2024 14:27

@Cerialkiller Your right this IS what he does and this IS who he is.

He did destroy everything about me just when I'd picked myself back up. He gaslighted me with my mental health and then broke my trust and walked away left me on the floor begging basically....

The whole thing is ridiculous

OP posts:
Poolstream · 02/07/2024 14:32

Block and silence is best.
However I’d be tempted to reply.
Big dreams, little dick.
And then block.

icelolly12 · 02/07/2024 14:32

Well now it's your turn to leave him on the floor begging!

Either block and delete. If you have to message him block straight afterwards and do not unblock under any circumstances, or arrange to go round his for a catch up but block and don't turn up.

Meadowwild · 02/07/2024 14:37

If you must reply, I'd say, 'Ah bless. How sweet you still have feelings. Hope you find happiness soon. xx'

Men don't like being called sweet.

Foxblue · 02/07/2024 14:41

thestudio · 02/07/2024 14:04

Hey! Good to hear from you. I'll pass though - If i wanted strings-free sex I would find someone who was good at it.

This is the winner for me 😆😆😆

MonsteraMama · 02/07/2024 14:46

Nothing you send him will hurt him as much as you want it to because he doesn't give a shit about you.

He doesn't love you, he doesn't care about you, he views you as a convenient receptacle for his penis and if you send him any of these tragically cringeworthy 'witty' texts, all you'll be doing is giving him permission to slap the label of 'crazy ex' on to you to use as a weapon on the next hapless idiot he tries to convince into bed.

Don't. Have some dignity and just block him.

Littlebitpsycho · 02/07/2024 14:51

thestudio · 02/07/2024 14:04

Hey! Good to hear from you. I'll pass though - If i wanted strings-free sex I would find someone who was good at it.

Hahaha please say this 🤣

Cadela · 02/07/2024 14:53

thestudio · 02/07/2024 14:04

Hey! Good to hear from you. I'll pass though - If i wanted strings-free sex I would find someone who was good at it.

This! Send and block immediately.

frozendaisy · 02/07/2024 14:53

The sex isn't worth the lipstick sweet cheeeks

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