How do I respond to the ex who destroyed me

[ResetandRestart]

Back story in brief.
My ex who I planned my future with, continued to break trust within our relationship with his female friend (alot of messaging and 1am facetime calls only when he wasnt with me arranging to meet up with her but never telling me he had plans not answering her calls if i was there etc) we broke up because of this i just didnt trust him and he never understood the issue.. 5 months later we rekindled after he blocked and unblocked me multiple times during those 5 months (I wanted to get us help to fix our issues he said my mental health was too low and it was not fixable then he would listen to me cry but ultimately block me again) we rekindled for 2 weeks, taking it slow but chatting daily and meeting twice. His ex girlfriend before me rang me unexpectedly one evening after we rekindled and told me that him and her had been sleeping together for the duration of our breakup and he was back in touch with her from day 1 of us splitting up, he promised her the world, turns out it was true and when questioned he said "I said whatever I had to say to get what I wanted" which was sex.....and he promised her all the things she wanted in the future (kids house etc) anyway....

Fast forward to now
We chatted a few days ago. He told me he thinks of me all the time, the love he has for me will never leave, we caught up on what's been going on blah blah blah and he suggested we spend some time together enjoy each others company and have fun (sex) with no expectations...the absolute ego on this man is ridiculous....the sex was terrible, his chat was terrible and there is absolutely no win here for me but he wants me to spend time with him, have sex with him and have no expectations....clearly its what he wants however I'm not into that.. when I met him he knew I was seeking my future partner.....

What do I reply? I need a quick witty full of self confidence and self worth reply...before I block him obviously

I lost everything after my ex H laid waste to it. My relationship with my DD, my home, all my money and my DF (who had a heart attack from the stress of it all and died). There would be no words in the world worth wasting on such a piece of wicked, utter shit. Silence will put you in control. Take the best weapon and fight back with a big fat zero. Here’s to much better people in your life and happy times.

Don't reply. It's what he wants. Silence is more powerful than any reply

I had a friends wirh benefits situation years ago - so l thought. Turns out he was just using me when he didn't get any better offers and l just got to a point where l thought nah. He knew l would have liked more. So l waited for him to try it on and sure enough he did - and l said oh l don't really look at you like that any more. His face was priceless, looked like a kicked puppy. I would say something like that op.

Any reply you send, and I mean any reply, will make you look pathetic and desperate. This man couldn't care less about what you think, he's just looking for an easy fuck. How much more of your life and dignity do you want to sacrifice for this arsehole? Enough is enough. Permanent silence is the most powerful reply you can possibly give him.

I'd be tempted to say

"Thanks for the offer but quite honestly, I'd rather shag Nigel Farage or Donald Trump! See ya !" And then block.

You don't need a plan. You need to ignore him and block him and move on with your life.

Anything else tells him you're still interested enough to respond. If you respond, no matter how sarcastically, you've opened up a line of communication. You've shown him you care enough to respond to him.

Sorry everyone! I meant a plan on rebuilding 1. My self esteem 2. My confidence 3. Finding myself again not a plan with him NOT involved ever.

I took him back as I was broken at that point. I was going through a hell of alot with DS and work and family Court for DD (her dad was very abusive and I have a restraining order) he made it out it was my mental health destroying the relationship and becahse of that it was me seeing his relationship with the female friend as over the top and if I wasn't mentally unwell (depression and anixety) I wouldn't view it like that. I'm much better mentally now and I don't view his relationship with female friend differently it was a overstep which he repeated. When we spoke recently part of me hoped he had realised the error of his ways (LOL) clearly he doesn't and he's just after a leg over - I loved him dearly back then....I thought he was something he wasn't right up until his ex rang me that day then I realised he was everything I hated in a man and a huge massive liar and everything we ever had was a huge lie

How could I even think he would have changed?!

once dcs are asleep ill read through again and then make a plan
You are part of the drama.
You should have blocked him when he became an ex You had a second chance of blocking him when he sent the message.
You've been given good advice but you haven't taken it.
No point in asking what to do.

Seriously block him that is the only plan you need. I think you're thriving off the whole situation, both from him and this thread.

That latest message was to scare you into thinking you’ll lose him again if you don’t get your act together and respond.

He can’t believe you haven’t jumped. He can’t believe he can’t influence you any more. He wants a reply. Any reply will make him feel better.

Leave him out in the cold. Block.
Oh and be prepared for more trying to hoover you back in on channels you forgot to block. Give it a week or so.

Update part 2

I'm not going to reply. Nor am I going to block yet HEAR ME OUT.. he feels the need to try and control the situation by throwing his double message out...if I block now shows I'm bothered enough to block him. My silence is my power. So I'm going to keep my power and just stay silent.

He won't block me as then my number goes on his block list and he can acess it again easily (his words not mine I guess this is how he managed to keep his ex's number too without having it saved)

So for now I'm not saying nothing. I'm going to keep that power and indifference by saying nothing then maybe tomorrow or Thursday I'll block. I want him to not get nothing while he's throwing his power statements out trying to make me panic into legs akimbo as another op said hahaa

What do you think?
Or am I crazy? Haha

Good idea not to respond. Put him on archive, no notifications etc so his messages don’t appear. Ignore him.

@ButterCrackers great idea! He's archived anyway but it still shows a 1 near my archive folder if he messages so I'll just not look. Leave him there in my head he's blocked. Thank you.

Realising this is a power play from him makes me wanna keep my power he power played me with my own mental health when we were together...he doesn't get to do that anymore

In all honesty it is still gamey …

You block he can think / play how he wants .. it has no impact on your life .

You leave it unblocked you are waiting / wondering when / if the next message comes on .

best revenge is move on with your life

I'd also send @thestudio reply.

But you will (and I know because I've been where you are) eventually crack and go digging in your actives when you're drunk or upset or whatever and have a bash at him

I totally get that you want him to perhaps double text and forever be hopeful you'll respond (which blocking doesn't give you), but honestly, he's scum. Just save yourself the drama and block and delete

*archives, not actives

Just block.

or even better, don’t block and just never read or respond. Blocking suggests that he still gets under your defences.

Just ignore.

I'm petty AF so I'd say you're before blocking him.

Totally agree. You’re still playing games and giving this far too much headroom.

Just block and forget him.

Don't let this man take any more of your dignity or time. Block and forget.

Exactly what she said. Don’t bother - he’s not worth it and won’t appreciate your witty retort!

Yeah not blocking could be seen as gamey couldn't it....

The responses have all been amazing from the send x y z to the no don't block makes him think your bothered and the block delete move on

I'm an idiot and I know that if I block him I'd have to be super super on it and never unblock him again but I know I would eventually probs just to snoop on his profile pic. I love him alot before he showed his true self to me and then I'd hate myself for it....

I'm definitely not going to respond. Blocking eventually when I can promise myself not to have to look at his profile pic when I get sad one night

Jesus I'm more of a train wreck than I thought 😅 😫

Don't do it. Anything you send will be trying to elicit a reaction or emotion from him. You need to stop wondering or caring what he is thinking/feeling.

There is no perfect response so don't bother with one.

do not reply, block him, write a list of all the awful stuff he has done, theyre will be more pros than cons, better urself and change your life x