How do I respond to the ex who destroyed me

[ResetandRestart]

Back story in brief.
My ex who I planned my future with, continued to break trust within our relationship with his female friend (alot of messaging and 1am facetime calls only when he wasnt with me arranging to meet up with her but never telling me he had plans not answering her calls if i was there etc) we broke up because of this i just didnt trust him and he never understood the issue.. 5 months later we rekindled after he blocked and unblocked me multiple times during those 5 months (I wanted to get us help to fix our issues he said my mental health was too low and it was not fixable then he would listen to me cry but ultimately block me again) we rekindled for 2 weeks, taking it slow but chatting daily and meeting twice. His ex girlfriend before me rang me unexpectedly one evening after we rekindled and told me that him and her had been sleeping together for the duration of our breakup and he was back in touch with her from day 1 of us splitting up, he promised her the world, turns out it was true and when questioned he said "I said whatever I had to say to get what I wanted" which was sex.....and he promised her all the things she wanted in the future (kids house etc) anyway....

Fast forward to now
We chatted a few days ago. He told me he thinks of me all the time, the love he has for me will never leave, we caught up on what's been going on blah blah blah and he suggested we spend some time together enjoy each others company and have fun (sex) with no expectations...the absolute ego on this man is ridiculous....the sex was terrible, his chat was terrible and there is absolutely no win here for me but he wants me to spend time with him, have sex with him and have no expectations....clearly its what he wants however I'm not into that.. when I met him he knew I was seeking my future partner.....

What do I reply? I need a quick witty full of self confidence and self worth reply...before I block him obviously

i sent my last message to my horrid childs father, you must be out of your f*in mind! then blocked someting down those lines lol x

You know if you block him completely now you will look back on this in a year and wonder what the hell you were thinking
Just over a year ago I was really upset over some bloke , didn't block him but gave him an ultimatum saying I was catching feelings and if he wasn't interested could he leave me alone
I met my now partner a month later
Other muppet has sent me 3 messages over the last year , latest being last week . Didn't even read them just deleted without opening . Couldn't give a flying one now .

You're not a train wreck. He shouldn't have put you in this position in the first place. It's natural that this stuff messes with your head and makes you ruminate, because that's the intention.

My advice would be to do what you think best and sod what he thinks. If you want to block him now or later, make it entirely about what's convenient for you.

You’ve done the right thing by completely ignoring.

He's so arrogant that he thought your initial lack of response was due to you thinking about it. What a fuckwit.

I honestly would just reply something like

“sorry been really busy today. I’m not interested tbh, the past is the past and we’ve all moved on. Take care 👍🏻 “

Breezy, blase and no emotional attachment

Get a cheapo phone with two SIMs and start transferring your good friends onto the new number. Talk to a phone shop so they can tell you what can and cannot be done with a phone. (He could have put his ex on his own block list to keep it off the address book.) Explain the situation and they'll tell you what you need to know.

The next stage, once the texts don't work, is triangulation where he looks up your mutual friends and get them to argue his case for him. And/or report back to him. Tell them all sorts of unbelievable shit and he'll give up. Or tell them to do one. Your choice.

Watch Dr Armani on YouTube. She's mustard.

One text that might work is this:

I do not want you to contact me in any way, shape or form. If you persist in attempting to contact me - directly or otherwise - I will be reporting you to the police for harassment.

Harassment is a course of behaviour and he's demonstrated it. One more text/ contact attempt and off to the police with you. He'll slink off into the shadows after that.

Reply “thanks Dave (any name that isn’t his) looking forward to seeing you tonight! Xx” then don’t ever reply to him again

Stop game playing, it sounds like you want him to chase you/get back with him. Don’t block, DELETE his number.

With respect OP you are giving him far too much thought and definitely sound like you’ve still got feelings for him. You seem to protest too much.

Blocking someone is easy if you really want no contact but if you’re honest with yourself I think you’re enjoying him contacting you and you aren’t ready for closing the door.

Ignore. The power is in your court.

Tell him, "Sorry I don't know how to say this, but I've felt for ages we're not sexually or intellectually compatible, I need someone who can satisfy me properly in all aspects, no offence, I know you really tried.... So I think our relationship needs to be over."

What do you think?
Or am I crazy? Haha
Nah, you're just a game playing drama lama!

These responses are bloody brilliant I won't lie any of them would really hit home to him that he can't treat me like he's trying anymore I love them all.

In regards to i like the drama - I don't think this even classes as drama if am honest - this isn't drama it's asking for advice on what to do and asking others what they think of my thoughts in regards as to what I do - it's not dramatic it's seeking validation as I've constantly been told my thoughts feelings actions are wrong my whole life and I'm putting things in to change that feeling however having other strong opinions does help you see things in a different view - so to sum up this is not drama this is my life unfortunately and quite frankly I'm super proud of myself for having the ability to not reply to this man, broken me would of totally replied instantly however I'm healing and trying to regain my self esteem and worth hence why I reached out to mumsnet for opinions and advice. So no. I'm not here for the "drama" but thanks for your input all the same.

I want to keep my power of silence. Blocking will be on the cards however for now it makes no difference as I don't have my online on nor do I have the read blue ticks on - he doesn't know if I've read his messages or not he doesn't know if I'm even online he knows nothing (and no they are not off because of him I've had them off for a long time)

My romantisicing of this man came and went the second I realised at the grand age of 42 he ain't going to change and never will, this is who he is and ewwww who wants a man like that. Not me!

I've not replied. And I won't. I'm not blocking either for now but that's on the cards too however equally I'm not going to be looking at his chat or anything either. In my head he's blocked. He's archived no notifications etc.

I want to thank you all aswell for all your advice support and understanding ❤️

Perfect blasé response

Blocking is obviously the mature thing to do.

But I quite like the idea of arranging a time and just not turning up

Nothing sends a stronger messages than silence.
Just block and don't get back together with him ever again. If you talk to him at all, he will try to manipulate you.

One step at a time @ResetandRestart One day at a time. Then you’ll get used to it and soon enough, it won’t be an issue any more.

Blocking will be on the cards however for now it makes no difference as I don't have my online on nor do I have the read blue ticks on
See this is part of the game playing / drama.
If he isn't blocked he is likely to leave it a while maybe a few months and try again. He's back in your head then. If he's blocked you will need er know if he tried or not.

However you are choosing to ignore this advice that has been given by majority, so you do you!

Ignor and Block.

Then pretend he's dead.

I'm sure you've realised it by now but...

"I said whatever I had to say to get what I wanted"

This is also what he is doing to you.

And

The whole thing is ridiculous

Yes, you're right. Along with you wanting to reply and not blocking him. Surely you've got better things to do with your time? Just block him and get on with your life.

I did it.
I blocked him.

Took myself to bed last night and had a stern word with myself - no unblocking pacts were made - I don't need to see his profile picture to figure out what he's up too.....who cares what he's doing he's a horrible vile person

I've done it. He's blocked.

Felt good to be fair I did a little laugh

Hell yes!! Well done you!!

“Who is this?”

then block, delete and never think about him again!

Thank you to you all for your support and help along the way.

This man literally destroyed me in lots of different ways and I feel like I can finally say I see him for what and who he really is not the bullshit he was trying to be and I have absolutely no need or want for a person like that in my life or my dcs life.

Thank you everyone