Ex has Texted 🙄

[LilacButterflies]

Hello!

I was in a relationship for 6 years and 2 years ago he just disappeared. We didn't live together because I have a child and I didn't want him living with us. I didn't really have any plans tbh, was just enjoying it all.

He met DD after 3 years and was actually brilliant with her, his mum and family were also lovely towards us too.

So on a Tuesday AM 2 years ago he left mine for work at 5am and it's the last time I saw him.

I realised at around lunchtime that I had been blocked. I got a txt that night from his best friend saying:
"* has dumped you. Do not attempt to contact him across ANY channels or his family or friends!!!!!!!"

I didn't try to BTW, I was too embarrassed. I just deleted his number and avoided his area as best as I could.

Anyway roll on to work this arvo and I get this message:

Him: "Hey me how are you? How's DD?"

Me: "sorry who's this? I don't have your number in my contacts"

Him: Ben.

I haven't replied and just deleted his message but shit after 2 years and the way i was dumped it was so unexpected.

My friends think I should have replied.

Oh and my friend and his friend that dumped me have never met.

I was supposed to be his sister's bridesmaid and a couple of days after I was "dumped" I got a text from her MOH asking if I would
"Respectfully drop the dress off at her place of work and her receptionist would collect it off me."

I got my old work mate to do it for me.

That actually compounded my embarrassment at the time, like wtf was said about me.

@LilacButterflies holy moly!! He and all his ilk can stay gone!

If I'd chosen my brother's gf as a bridesmaid and then out of the blue <poof>... I'd want the story from both sides and be checking if she needed support...

People aren't like disposable cutlery unless you are spectacularly crusty of heart.

You have done the right thing @LilacButterflies and balls to your friend if she's going to go all bleeding heart. I'm sorry this has rattled you, and hope that you feel calm and happy very soon

Your reply was perfect.

My DD was ghosted by her complete abusive scumbag of a bf when she was nearly 16, he had moved in with a much older woman. He turned up over a year later and my DD was right back with him within the hour, she’s 18 now still with him and it’s absolute hell for us all. We’ve lost our daughter.

My response would have been ‘ Ben who?’ Then when he responds say ‘ can’t recall, sorry, think you may have the wrong number’ …..delete ….block……and give a huge ‘ muhahahahaha’ to yourself

You've done really well handling this, I wouldn't have been able to resist raging at him

Well done you

This is how you treat someone who has treated you badly.
A masterclass in dignity and self respect.
An excellent role model for your daughter who will have high expectations of her future partner.
Bravo 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Well done, OP.

His current narcissistic supply is letting him down and he's desperate to create drama.

You've handled this well. 👏

He definitely made up some horrible story to paint you as the bad guy. That's the only thing that explains the way his friend and family treated you. No normal decent person would agree with his treatment of you otherwise.

You did the right thing blocking him but I would have listened to his voice mails just to see what he was contacting me about. Hate to say this but what if he has some STD and is contacting you to warn you.. its just weird he's trying so desperately to get in touch.

I got a text that night from his best friend saying:
" has dumped you. Do not attempt to contact him across ANY channels or his family or friends!!!!!!!"*

Weird that his friend agreed to do that. If my friend asked me to do this, I would very firmly tell them to do their own dirty work. And I would certainly think less of them as a friend.

Yes, I agree. You were massively smeared. Wouldn't surprise me if he said YOU dumped him to his family.

The friend who is telling you to get back in touch doesnt mean well. Probably one of those that like drama and the feeling of being a fixer or shoulder to cry on. Unless she had a thing with your ex I cant see how anyone would advise this. I recall when my sis was divorcing one of her friends kept saying x misses you, he is regretting this, he is not that happy with OW etc. I told her this woman is making this about her and does not care for you. To-date there is no evidence that X said anything to her or wanted to be back with sis (he was being horrible then he is still horrible now over 13 years later). I am still of the opinion that she was telling X the same about my sis and just loved being listened to, wanted to be the knight in shining armour or crying shoulder
The wedding part is just so cringe. I wonder what he told these women. I wonder where these women are now and whether they have had time to reflect on their actions. Well done you for walking away without a glance back.

Definitely.

"Respectfully".

I don't think I could've resisted replying, 'you can respectfully collect it if you want it
How dare you expect me to do errands for you when your brother has treated me so disgracefully. You are a pack of utter odd balls".

Those women were still horrible. I have been in many situations when a cousin, a brother etc have told me something about what terrible beings their partner is (often wives or girlfriends. Its rarely women telling about men). I always gave the partner a voice: Can you tell me your side of the story. In many cases, the men exaggerated or were masking their own dicky behaviour or both were wrong. The women were still shitty for siding with him and treating OP like they did

Interesting that he's so persistent. He's obviously had this picture in his head of you being desperate to hear from him for the past few years, and ready and anxious to accept his gracious attentions again as soon as he chose to click his fingers. He must be feeling really bewildered right now.

Oh and it's rather ironic that you were ordered not to contact his family in any way, yet his sister had the gall to contact you rather than just get a new dress.

I couldn't have resisted pointing that out either.

Narcs always think that way.

They think people they discarded are on ice/in stasis, perpetually available, for if they feel like picking them up again.

Yep- it's laughable. He's trying to hoover you after putting you on the shelf for 2 years and is utterly baffled that you arent sobbing with relief to hear from him, jumping to answer the phone in desperation to hear his voice. It must be a massive blow to his ego that you arent 😂

Pathetic arrogant piece of shit.

Also, the very fact he kept your number for 2 years after getting his friend to tell you never to contact him again is evidence of his true motives- if he genuinely wanted no more contact with you ever, why on earth did he keep your phone number eh?

I'll put money on he was seeing someone else while with you, then wanted to get into a serious relationship with this person then when they went to shit tried to come back to you.

Have you come into money (or look like you might have) perchance?

My best friend was treated like dirt by her family (father side - divorced parents) for most of her childhood/young adult stage of her life. She went LC but once went to a larger family event. She arrived driving a nice enough car. After that the estranged family members wanted contact/we should meet/ etc. Fortunately she saw through it but it was a hard time emotionally still.

Well done for blocking!

What a shock for you.

I am 99 percent certain he’s just been dumped and looking for validation/a fallback girl. Don’t go there OP!

Sounds like your "friend" is only after gossip.
And is in no way worried about you and your feelings.

My response would be: "no contact" and block.

I've a pal that is pretty laxed with her judgement and spontaneous (I'm not saying your pal is), she is a great pal - but I wouldn't take her advice on anything to do with relationships (or careers)....