Quick dating advice!

[pubertyalloveragain]

So he organises (enthusiastically) a third date for tomorrow but doesn't get in touch all week?

What to do?

He's now said he wants a quickie?

I think the bad communication might be working both ways here

Only accept if he suggests dinner somewhere swish.

Then develop an unfortunate contagious disease and go home.

He made zero effort for tomorrow night. Had he forgotten? You had to prompt him. No OP! He either needs to learn the hard way (you being unavailable for some time) or he’s just never going to learn and is a waste of your time.

When he said he was working at five and I said I would give it a miss he wrote back with I will finish work asap and come to you.

Which to me, translates as a bit of sex in my house after work and then straight into work in the morning - some third date.

Exactly! I completely agree.

So how to respond, that just cuts through the shit like a knife.

Or he’s getting a bit jittery that you think he’s playing games/losing interest and so instead he’s making (what he thinks) is an effort to pull back from that by saying that he’ll change his work routine and come to you rather than you having to go somewhere to meet him. Or he’s bored of his sock. Hard to tell without knowing him!

Ugh it gets worse. Just ignore - do not reply. He’s grim!!

I don't really understand all of this so apologies in advance for being a voice of dissent

You've had two dates. You've literally met him twice!! Yes he's rude etc but the red flags were there tbh - wanting to stay over and making 'jokes' about you flying to see him when he was away.

The most dignified and self protecting response is to just ignore him. Delete his number and move on.

No playing silly buggers, trying to 'call him out' etc etc

And in future, invest a little less of yourself and don't get caught up in chats where you're even discussing him staying over after 2 meet ups.

I'd just shelve this now. Honestly, don't give him the satisfaction of showing that you're invested in this

Honestly OP, I’ve been on loads of dates/apps (I’m with someone lovely now) - the most cutting thing to do is to ignore him.

Or he’s bored of his sock

Actually that's a good response.

'Bit grim for a Friday night date 😘 that I had to remind you of 😂'

“It’s a bit late now to make arrangements for tomorrow to be honest. Let’s knock it on the head for now, but let me know if you want to do something next week.”

Then leave the ball in his court and make some fun plans for yourself this weekend.

Do it!

No don’t write anything sarky or anything at all. . Be dignified and ignore him like he’s beneath you. Seriously!

And then block him.

And his manky old sock.

He's a waste of space and he's wasting your time - park it he sounds like he's completely flaky and full of sh**

Good to know if he has form!

I'll have to think about this. Silence and he'll either think I'm in a huff or he'll text again about it, or text to say it's a bit grim etc...?

Who actually cares what he thinks?! Why are you bothered that he thinks you're 'in a huff?'

Are you quite young? Or maybe just enjoying all this?

The best advice really is to just disengage. Don't play these games

Don't waste any more time or headspace
He's a looser

EXACTLY

No I am not young. And I am not enjoying it. I don't enjoy being treated like this thank and I wanted to point that out.

He doesn't care though. No need to point anything out to him.

Gather up your dignity before you completely lose it and just stop now

I don't think I am playing a game. We had organised a date, he flaked which is clear to me, it wasn't before. I can now make other plans. I see that as clarifying my Friday night and his form. Job done. Whether to twist the knife as I am pissed about it... I don't think that is an immature game. That is a grown woman pissed off she's just been messed around by a guy who has been chasing her for 5/6 weeks.

Then cut through it and say, 'look, I expected a little more communication ahead of our third date. I'm not sure why said date is being scheduled for a day that you're working, you've had free time for gigs etc but trying to squeeze me in. It's left me feeling pretty negative and unsure. I want something else/better than this.'