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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Affair after nearly 40 years of marriage

545 replies

citylady62 · 26/06/2024 05:55

Same old story but after nearly 40 years of marriage and three grown up successful children I was ready to settle into a comfortable long retirement with my husband. In our marriage he's been the earner and I've worked part time. Times have gone up and down financially but we are now very comfortable - house in a good city and abroad. We have quite different interests and I know that I've been the more extrovert- would describe my husband maybe as borderline highly functioning ASD at times but only slightly. I guess we'd slipped into taking each other for granted. I'd envisaged a really easy ride retirement with him working in his interesting business which he's been growing for the part 4 years and will hopefully give us a good return eventually and which I can dabble in if I choose - it keeps him happy but too happy it turns out. He brought a woman into the business initially as a volunteer, then gave her a paid project and now she's full time managing one project. Last year he told me he no longer loved me and was worried for our future. I took it badly, threatened suicide. We dribbled on through winter into spring. No sleeping together. I suspected an affair but couldn't bring myself to ask. I know he loves the company of this woman who is 8 years his junior. He told me this spring that he had had an affair and slept with her ( I asked him this directly otherwise suspect he'd have kept that to himself) but couldn't contemplate breaking our family apart after so long. He's really keen got the grown up offspring not to know. I took it badly, threatened suicide again and he has agreed to end the affair. He's effectively ghosted his employee as I've told him it's her or me. I'm glad I'm causing her hurt through encouraging him to now treat her harshly because even though he says he instigated it I blame her for reciprocating. He has a high sex drive when younger but it slowed down a lot. I know they were really close, my husband was clearly in love and she's very much like him in personality- quiet, serious and work focused. God knows how he'll negotiate working with her without contact- their problem. He says he can't sack her as her own marriage ended (apparently not her fault and not through infidelity and before this affair) and he was a support through this. I should say my husband confessed to almost getting too close to another woman through work 4 years ago but we talked and it brought us closer, or do so thought. I don't want to lose him. I'm insanely jealous he turned to another woman for companionship leading to a 8 month affair. We slept together recently at my instigation as I needed evidence he was 'back' in our marriage. We'll have counselling. Not sure I'll ever forgive him but I do think, as does he, that he was ridiculous to threaten our comfortable years of retirement ahead and family moments just for the concept I suspect of finding a soulmate in his 60s. I know it's me forcing him to cut her off - he's out of touch emotionally in many ways and thought he could keep seeing her through work but I've put a stop to that by issuing an ultimatum. I know I'm very controlling but he's always seemed to be happy with that and happy in his own sweet world providing for me. We're starting counselling and I'm confident he's not seeing the OW and has but her off harshly to make things clear and he's constantly holding my hand etc again and agreeing to lots of being together. Will he really fall back in love with me having confessed to falling out of love with me last Autumn or is this all surface manipulation of feelings and deep down he still wants her? I can't contemplate life without the structure and status of my marriage - we've been together since I was in my early 20s so he's pretty much all I've known in terms of relationships. I just wanted life to keep
pottering on and can still incredulous he'd threaten all we've built up for an 8 month romance.
I confronted her at work and told her how awful she was for sleeping with my husband. She explained later he instigated and it was mutually deep feelings that they had for each other but i can't believe my loving gentle husband would go this without encouragement from her.

Now I'm feeling strong because he's back and has rejected her but I wonder if we can really ever get back to the 'together forever' stable couple I thought we were? Anyone else experienced an affair after such a long marriage? Will we make it? Will he suddenly give in on his no contact with OW I've forced him into? At the moment he's doing all to convince me it's over including sleeping with me and is full of regret but is this true love for me or normal for a man trying to convince himself that a good-ish marriage he almost gave up on for an affair is the better choice for comfort and stability in his later years (he's 64) than starting again with someone he once thought of as a soulmate but now seems able to cut off.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 26/06/2024 06:02

OP I’m not sure how to say this in a kinder way so I apologise for that- he is not still with you because he loves you, or has any feelings for you, he is still with you because you have threatened to commit suicide multiple times when he has brought up leaving. That is abuse, from you, emotional blackmail.

If you’re at the stage of affairs, ultimatums and threatening to end your life to keep your husband then your marriage is a long time over. If it’s not this woman, it will be another one because although your threats force him to stay with you they absolutely cannot and will not force him to love you, quite the opposite in fact.

TiddlyCove · 26/06/2024 06:08

I'm really sorry you've had suicidal thoughts - in honesty, I think I would too in your position. But if your husband is only staying with you for that reason, the marriage is over and you're going to be fire-fighting affairs from the sound of how things have been going on. I think you need to make preparations to leave him.

citylady62 · 26/06/2024 06:16

I think he's not just staying because he can see the deeply hurtful impact on me but also because he genuinely values our family orientated social life and told me throughout the affair he was conflicted because he realised he still
likes my company after all these years and had told the OW this. He desperately doesn't want our children to know. I think
I'll hate the OW until the day I die but really want to forgive my husband.

OP posts:
Merryweatherincoming · 26/06/2024 06:16

It does sound from your op that you are worried about losing a comfortable life and retirement.

Conversely it also sounds as though your dh is still open to adventures with other women. I'm not sure how you can reconcile the two tbh unless you agree to an open relationship which doesn't sound possible for you and nor why should it.

Would you still have a comfortable life if you divorce?

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 26/06/2024 06:18

You said you thought he was happy.

He clearly wasn’t.

TheaBrandt · 26/06/2024 06:18

Quite conflicted reading this as instinctively would be on the cheated on wife’s side but you sound like a nightmare sorry. I ended up
feeling sorry for Dh and the other woman.

Reads like you don’t love him you just want the financial, familiar and keeping up appearances aspects of the marriage and the repeated threatening of suicide is appalling.

Snooglequack · 26/06/2024 06:19

Bin him off OP. you're both chasing something that will never be and pretending to the world it is. It's embarrassing, have some respect, kick him out and enjoy your retirement.

citylady62 · 26/06/2024 06:23

I honestly believed our marriage was good until the OW came along. I was totally in love with him still after all these years. I thought his quiet, easy going introvert nature meant he'd never do a thing like this, especially at our age. Our impending retirement years seems to have triggered this. He now seems to definitely want the marriage and life we've made together to continue as before - maybe even better after we've had counselling.

OP posts:
marshmallowfinder · 26/06/2024 06:23

I'm afraid I just don't understand this all. Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with you? People can change, grow apart, want different things and that is OK. You can have a wonderful and secure future without him. You are financially secure and are still young with so many possibilities for yourself and your life. Remember that you can always choose how you react, even though you're hurting. It would be terrible to stay in this relationship knowing how he feels.

cryinglaughing · 26/06/2024 06:24

Why waste more years on a loveless marriage.
You are setting yourself up for a miserable retirement 😔

Snooglequack · 26/06/2024 06:24

He doesn't love you though, and he doesn't want the life you had, he just doesnt want you to kill yourself. Let him go, let yourself be free. Stop trying to pull both of you back

cryinglaughing · 26/06/2024 06:25

If the marriage was good, there wouldn't have been an OW.

MrOscar · 26/06/2024 06:27

The marriage is already over.

I can't believe I feel sorry for him, but threatening suicide is an awful, awful thing to do to someone. I understand how you feel but you need to seek help.

He's not in love with you, you can't trust him, you're controlling, he's lied and betrayed you, it's all shades of toxic.

User364837 · 26/06/2024 06:29

Don’t please threaten suicide. I’m sorry you feel so distressed but don’t do that. I’ve been on the other side of that and felt it was manipulative and abusive. I know you were just desperate but the sad truth is anyone does have the right to leave a relationship if they choose.

citylady62 · 26/06/2024 06:29

@cryinglaughing I suspect he's had a mid life crisis wondering after 40 years of faithful marriage how sleeping with another woman might be. He definite feels committed now to making our marriage work - otherwise I don't think he'd be sleeping with me again nor including me in all his plans and travel if I want. We're actually spending nearly all our time together right now and no more turning his mobile off funny business.

OP posts:
LunaNorth · 26/06/2024 06:30

He wants to be happy at last.

Let him go. You’ll get half of everything; by the sound of it, he won’t contest it.

You might find you’re a lot happier when you’re not having to issue ultimatums and threaten suicide in order to maintain the status quo.

SirChenjins · 26/06/2024 06:30

I’m so sorry that this has happened to you but in all honesty, it sounds like they have very strong feelings for one another and he’s staying with you for now because of loyalty to the family unit and because of your multiple threats of suicide (what an awful thing to do), and not because he loves you. I imagine the affair will continue and may well culminate in him leaving you anyway at some point, so my advice would be to have a mature conversation about your future. Having the financial benefits he brings seems very important to you, so protecting that should form part of that conversation.

BlastedPimples · 26/06/2024 06:30

Blaming the ow is ridiculous.

The blame is entirely on your h. He betrayed you.

Obviously the ow is unprofessional and idiotic for shagging her employer and morally moronic for sleeping with a married man - there are lots of those awful people about - but ultimately, the blame lies with your h.

You don't want to blame him because that means some uncomfortable truths need to be faced.

You're not connected as a couple. You don't have sex. You're having to threaten suicide for him to stay.

It sounds like you'd be financially secure in the event of a divorce.

I think it's time you stopped trying to force someone to be with you and action a divorce.

You never know, you might be happier. And you won't have to be subject to doubting everything he says all the time.

HarlanPepper · 26/06/2024 06:31

The casual way you talk about threatening suicide is the thing that stands out most to me in your post. Do you regularly express thoughts of killing yourself?

user1984778379202 · 26/06/2024 06:33

I have to agree with others. It sounds like his main motivating factor for staying is you repeatedly threatening to kill yourself. He doesn’t want your DC to know because he would hate them to think he’s driven their mum to suicidal thoughts. This is something you can ask him during counselling - “if I hadn’t said I wanted to kill myself, would you still be with OW?” His reaction, not his words, will tell you everything.

TheaBrandt · 26/06/2024 06:34

I know! She admits to it the first time then breezily says she’s done it again !

citylady62 · 26/06/2024 06:36

@BlastedPimples sorry, I must have been unclear. We are very much sleeping with each other again now. I genuinely think he's truly remorseful as am I for being so weak as to contemplate suicide - I was just thrown into total shock. Yes, I would be financially secure if we separated and will have inheritance on my side but he and being his wife and mother to our children have been the focus of my life. I never thought I would find myself with an unfaithful husband - not heart in his 60s after 40 years of marriage!

OP posts:
Loubelou14 · 26/06/2024 06:37

I wouldn't want someone who didn't want me. This will never be the same. You need to gather strength and create a new life for yourself.

SirChenjins · 26/06/2024 06:39

You sleeping together does not mean he doesn’t love the OW or wishes he was with her instead of you.

user1984778379202 · 26/06/2024 06:39

Also, blaming OW when he’s told you he instigated it and encouraging him to mistreat her will backfire on you. Given their deep feelings for each other, at some point he’s likely to feel awful for making her distressed and they’ll start talking again.

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