To be upset by what my husband said/did

[staringatstars]

Husband just made a gesture to me about me being fat/pregnant. I'm 25 weeks pregnant, don't like looking the way I do right now, keeping up with running and fitness as much as I can with a toddler, intense job, and being pregnant. I had an eating disorder years ago, which doesn't really leave you. I'm in tears. He has apologised for making me upset. Not for what he said, but for making me upset. I just can't do this. I want to throw myself down some stairs and not be pregnant anymore.

I'm only 5'2, and am now 60kg, up from 52kg. So it's a lot.

Normally just over 8 stone, now 9.5 stone. Maybe I'm overly sensitive. Maybe I'm just huge. I did a race yesterday and he said I didn't run fast. I wasn't expecting to, I was just happy to run.

You are pregnant, you are carrying a baby,you are supposed to be heavier. Look after yourself and your unborn child. Throw your husband down the stairs.

He sounds a right nobhead

This.

What did he say? What was the gesture?

What was the 'gesture'? or what was said?

@staringatstars I think the only extra weight you're carrying is in the form of an idiot for a husband. Even if you were not pregnant you are a v healthy weight.

Ignore him. He's a first class, prize twat. Tell him I said so.

Look after yourself. That baby needs feeding and a healthy happy mum 🥰

You aren't huge, you are pregnant. You didn't run fast but you enjoyed yourself and kept yourself and your baby healthy.

I don't know if he's a knob, and whether he made a practical comment about needing more space, or a nasty comment about you getting bigger- which you will because you are a baby growing up machine.

I strongly suggest you speak to an eating disorder helpline or your midwife as a matter of urgency.

He told a pregnant woman she didn't run fast enough in a race? Wtf?!

What planet is this loser on? This, and the gesture about your weight, is not something a caring man would say to their pregnant partner. (Unless there was some conversational context that changes how it comes across)

Please do not throw yourself down the stairs.

Throw your husband down instead.

I'm so sorry he's such a nasty piece of work. I'm sure he looks like a Greek god himself.

Of course you're not overweight, OP. Speak to your midwife and she will reassure you.

Do you have real-life support? I've a feeling you're going to need it with that man.

Planet Knob. It's over-populated and extremely toxic.

What did he do, what's he going to be like for the rest of your pregnancy and your post birth tummy, is he expecting you to go back to before the day after you give birth. He actually sounds really spiteful, you need to look after yourself and your baby, do not deliberately injure yourself or over exercise.

I asked him if I looked slow in the race. It was 100m sprint, just a fun thing at sports day. He said I didn't look fast. I think he comparing me to normal. Sprinting is not my thing anyway, but I wanted to give it a go because I enjoy it.

Today some kids outran me at a water fight thing so I got wet. We were playing. I joked saying the kids outran me, and he made like a round gesture with his arms and a slow jog thing to imply th at of course they outran me.

@staringatstars your dh is an insensitive idiot.
Seriously strap a stones worth of ballast around his stomach and tell him to run.

You’re growing another human, he should be in awe of you.

Even if you weren't pregnant, 9.5 stone is a perfectly average weight for your height.

I'm a little shorter and lighter so probably the same in comparison. I'm not a skinny minny but anyone implying I was fat could fuck right off.

Your hubby doesn't sound nice. Bare minimum a partner should be is nice. Do you actually need the prick?

How fast did he run whilst carrying a bowling ball inside him?

No He didn't. He said she didn't run fast. Not she didn't run fast 'enough', just that she wasn't fast. And being pregnant she probably didn't so he was possibly being more factual than anything.

I was ready to call him a knob but after reading the updates i do think you are being sensitive.

He was being factual. He has now apologised a lot for the gesture. Yes, I'm being overly sensitive, I just hate looking like this. And I'm only going to get bigger. He's never said or done anything like this before. It's just very hard for me.

He sounds an absolute tool. Does he not understand that pregnant women get bigger?

Wow 😳
What a Jeremy.

Yeah, why did you ask him if you looked slow in the race? and then say, I was just happy to run? I'm Beginning to move to team DH. Your OP made it sound like this was unsolicited. Don't ask questions if you don't want the truth as an answer.

This completely changes things. You asked a question and he answered it factually.

The second thing, he was just miming being pregnant and running.

You clearly have issues around your body but those are yours to resolve. Your DH did nothing wrong.