Hi, can I join you guys? I'm quite far into no contact with 'my guy' (12 weeks no messages but still friends on social media - watch each others stories etc).
I didn't see the first thread and also not fully caught up with this one, sorry - I just wanted to join.
My situation is loooong! I've been with my husband 18 years, married for 8. The other guy worked with us both, 13 years ago we fell for each other, emotional affair etc not much physical contact (no sex but 1 or 2 kisses etc), he sort of ended it very suddenly (was in a long term relationship like me but he also had a child) and I took it badly.
Me & then boyf (now dh) moved away for a couple years and I thought I was over the OM, spoiler I wasn't! After moving back, we'd text once or twice a year, remained 'friends/friendly' (no EA at this point). Fast forward to 2023, I turn 40 and contacted him again, became obsessed! Overshared way too much to him (he's now single), he didn't show much interest so I went completely no contact (unfriended etc) in Sept which lasted till Feb - I messaged him to say sorry for making things awkward, we had a brief chat all good. Then he messaged me happy birthday & re-friended me a couple weeks later and I got obsessed again but this time he was also showing interest/texting first/texting all day etc. This lasted a month ish then he went quiet and had some life issues so I said I'd leave him to it and message me if he wants to talk .. he said thanks. That was 12 weeks ago,I still think about him too often.
A few weeks ago I told my husband I had a crush on someone else & told him who it was (didn't mention years old EA, or the extent of the messaging). Obviously this didn't go down well but we've actually really worked through things and he's been brilliant, I should be working on my marriage not thinking about OM.
Jeez that was long. Sorry.