I haven’t slept tonight.
In early 2023 I met someone through a cuddle website online (I don’t remember which one). I am early 20’s and he is late 30’s so a lot older than me. we spoke for a few weeks at most but we clicked on a personal level and it was intense. I lived closer to him at the time (I now don’t). It became clear we had bonded. He spoke a lot about the issues he has with his family and I shared a bit about mine. He made himself out to be a really safe and trustworthy person that cared about me and I believe I massively over shared about my personal life, not knowing my family (I was brought up by my mother and she changed her name and her second name which I also took so I have no idea who my family are and she won’t talk about it), and having very minimal contact with my mother because she is bipolar and can turn on and off, she isn’t completely bad but has an abusive side to her and it isn’t good for my mental health. I don’t have many friends. We exchanged numbers. We didn’t meet in person but we were going to. He had good reviews. One day he just stopped replying a few days before we were going to meet up and after a bit I assumed he had lost interest and I deleted his number. I was a bit disappointed but I just forgot about him soon enough. I ended up moving a few hours away.
a few weeks ago I got a call and I didn’t know who it was at first but he was speaking to me in a friendly manner, asking me how I was etc. He explained who he was and that he lost contact because he ended up in hospital and then started dealing with personal family issues and self harm, and nevertheless I still don’t understand why he reached out to me but didn’t know how to question it further. He wanted to meet up like we were going to the first time bear in mind it had been more than a year since he just disappeared so I was reluctant despite how well we got on the first time.
I explained to him that I wanted to get to know him first and explained that he would have to stay in a hotel as I’m not completely comfortable. at first he seemed understanding and spoke about how he is respectful of the way that I feel but later on he got very offended and said that I must not like him if I am going to make him stay in a hotel even though it is the first time meeting him.
I have found his Facebook page it is from 2014 and he has no other social media besides linked in.
I suppose it is hard to work out with limited information but I have been speaking to a friend online who has said that he sounds manipulative and like he knows that I am isolated and cut off from a support network, knows I have issues and would be the perfect target if he is a murderer.
we were meant to meet up this Friday evening ever since the date was planned I have been having recurring vivid nightmares about being murdered in my bed by him and dragged off into the wooded area by my house. Tonight I haven’t slept at all as it’s Friday.
he doesn’t know my exact address but we were due to meet literally in a public space over the street from my house so that I can verify he was who he said he was before bringing him back to my house
but now I’m 99% sure I don’t want to at all.
I obviously have no evidence and it’s probably more likely that he wanted a shag but does it sound like he wanted to murder me and are there any other signs that I should look for that would tell me which it is? Do I explain anything to him or just block? I am extremely uncomfortable that he even has a rough idea of where I am and knows my name and number etc
if you got this far thanks for reading