He cancelled a date and is now angry I didn’t reply?

[Utopiana]

Been seeing this man for 2 months ish. We were meant to meet on Saturday at 7pm but I got a message (after I had spent two hours getting ready!!!) at 6 saying “hello, it’s one of my mates birthday tonight sorry I forgot, I will have to show up for a bit, but would be free around 11pm, idk how you feel about that”

I felt like he had a better offer (not the party) and just thought well okay. Went out with my friends instead. No intention of getting into an argument or discussion with the guy.

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

ITS BEEN LESS THAN 2 days.

Was I wrong not to reply to his text? I think any rational person knows someone’s not going to meet them for a meal at 11?

@Utopiana

Who meets up as late as that especially early days of courtship,
the idea of courting is to impress. he has failed 😔 miserably there straight away,

You can tell that he thought his friends getogether was something he thought was far better,
than dating,

It sounds like he is hoping and wishing 🙏 he will get lucky with a booty type of call,

Ditch him

How 🤔 didnt he know,
rember so late 🙄 in the day then?,

He could have easily invited you to come along for bit to his friends birthday bash too and gone out on a date.

He made you priority zero when he’d arranged and date and now wants to school you on manners? In. The. Bin.

It’s classic blame-shifting. In his eyes, it’s no longer his fault for cocking up his diary and then offering the consolation of a booty call - it’s your fault for reacting badly. You’re well rid.

I wouldn't have been happy with the way things turned out either, but YWBU not to reply at all. Both in the wrong, but his actions show a more long term problem, so after just two months I'd chalk it up to experience and move on.

very funny indeed

😂 gee, I wonder why you struggle….

What did you reply to the twat, OP?

I hope you didn't reply

Just tell him to fuck off. He was after a booty call and you didn't want to do that and then he was RUDE. The brass neck of it.

Oh dear.

Us "wimmin" have standards. Standards which include people treating others with respect and taking personal responsibility. My standards also include a basic level of competence in spelling, punctuation and grammar.

I don't know what a 2% Alpha is, but I suspect it's something the Andrew Tates of this world are selling. I'd suggest you stop wasting your time on those sorts of 'influencers' and work on developing your own self-esteem and personal integrity.

Sarcasm is hard to read on here but I’m assuming you’re poking fun at Andrew Tate and such people 😆 it’s exactly what they’d say.

There’s a stat on dating apps which claims most men can’t get dates and I don’t know how accurate it is, but I wonder if they take into account the amount of men who sabotage things for themselves eg:

• cancelling last minute due to poor planning
• saying they will organise a date but then not bothering and wondering why the woman has stopped replying
• trying to sext in the first few messages
• asking for “more pictures”
• giving monosyllabic answers and not asking questions.

to name just a few!

You ffffin try being a man and being on the end of endless rejection

I'm really really struggling with my teeny tiny violin.

Regardless of the fact that this was clearly an attempt at an end of the night no strings shag that the OP was competely within her right to ignore - does anyone else struggle with having to be glued to their bloody phone and respond in a timely manner all the time? I have ADHD anyway but I really struggle with the effort of replying to half the texts that any potential suitors send me - it's so much EFFORT. Dating was way easier back in the pre-mobile/social media days when you didn't have to endlessly converse with someone who isn't even in the same bloody room as you.

I've also been on the receiving end of passive aggressive messages about not replying to texts - although I do warn suitors that I bloody hate messaging and will only do it as a necessity and not for fun. They generally ignore this and send a whole bunch of (irritating) messages anyway. I don't want pointless GIFs or pictures of what they're cooking for dinner. I think this makes them entitled and not me?

If you’re going to troll, here’s a tip: “Wimmin” is a dead giveaway.

was he expecting you to wait

Maybe try a course of therapy?

I would have replied

"No worries".

Nothing else.

Hope you had a lovely evening on Saturday.

Won’t somebody think of the menz and their hurty feelz 🥲🥲🥲

@horseyhorsey17

They generally ignore this and send a whole bunch of (irritating) messages anyway. I don't want pointless GIFs or pictures of what they're cooking for dinner. I think this makes them entitled and not me?

Yeah I see what you mean. When I was doing online dating it got to the stage that I told men we could only swap numbers after a (successful) first date as I wanted to limit how many of them were texting me. I actually don’t mind texting people I know to an extent, but not so much strangers that have no concrete plan to meet with you. One guy who was asking my number sent me a message on an app saying “I’m bored entertain me” basically, in not so many words. I blocked him and thanked my good judgment I hadn’t given him my number. I think some people really do just text out of boredom with no regard for how it affects the other person.

But yeah I’m not one for GIFs etc, and I prefer less frequent phone calls to constant texting. It can all get a bit too much. It’s also a bit of a red flag if they constantly ignore your communication preferences. Like I had a mate who would always text and voice note despite me telling her I preferred phone calls.

I recently started seeing a guy and told him I'm not glued to my phone and don't enjoy long text/Whatsapp conversations, and he kept sending me texts and then when I didn't respond, following up with texts saying he was getting paranoid I didn't like him. Drove me MAD. I ended it, obvs. I will die alone but it's better that way!

Yeh when I was doing OLD, I didn't want to chat endlessly with people I hadn't met. I'd rather watch netflix read, tidy up even!!! But a good filter was somebody expressing annoyance that I had something else to do on a Monday night!

🙈sheesh.

He didn’t double book, he got what he perceived as a better offer or a “couldn’t let the lads down” invite. He did however fancy a shag later so tested the water with his 11pm booty call.

When that didn’t work out he got nasty, as they do, when she didn’t dance to his tune.

Realistically, he’s probably pissed off and bitter that he has fucked off a very good catch over a night out on the beer.

whether he double booked or not is irrelevant, he choose the boys over her.

He lives and he learns.

@sandyhappypeople you are incredibly naive if you think that message was anything other than a booty call

Well said OP.