He cancelled a date and is now angry I didn’t reply?

[Utopiana]

Been seeing this man for 2 months ish. We were meant to meet on Saturday at 7pm but I got a message (after I had spent two hours getting ready!!!) at 6 saying “hello, it’s one of my mates birthday tonight sorry I forgot, I will have to show up for a bit, but would be free around 11pm, idk how you feel about that”

I felt like he had a better offer (not the party) and just thought well okay. Went out with my friends instead. No intention of getting into an argument or discussion with the guy.

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

ITS BEEN LESS THAN 2 days.

Was I wrong not to reply to his text? I think any rational person knows someone’s not going to meet them for a meal at 11?

Plain talk - hes not that in to you or he views you as an option

He didn't invite you to join him to the party. Why is this?
He wanted to meet up at 11pm - is what a F buddy does.

I think you dealt with this perfectly, OP.

The last minute cancellation was annoying but the follow-up message telling you what you “can’t” do was totally unacceptable. Who gave him the right to dictate how you behave and interact with him?

As others have said, sometimes taking a step back to reflect and not immediately reacting can be very revealing.

He wanted a booty call to end his night. I guess he's right, what was on offer WASN'T good enough. Just chuck him back.

Good thing OP has now moved on and blocked him.

Waiting 2 days to reply indicates you intended to reply but were going to try teaching him not to act like that with a bit of silent treatment.

In your shoes I'd have just said "thanks but no thanks. I'm sure it was a genuine mistake on your part but I'm looking for something a bit more and it's not really good enough for me to receive a cancellation text message 1 hour before our date. I think let's call this a day."

Ignore and count your blessings!

I think you’re brilliant. He blew you out last minute and was then after a booty call.

Keep being you.

Well done, OP. Can't waste your time in the world of dating. Got to move on.

She did act like a child though. If the tables were turned, everyone would be telling this woman she did the right thing messaging him to know about the change of plans and that he was rude to not respond/ignore her offer. She didn't have to accept his offer of meeting at 11 but yes it is extremely rude and childlike to not respond. Nothing wrong with his response, Infact I think it's a very mature message to say you can't just not respond when you don't get what you want! He did not abuse her in the text, just spoke his mind.

Exactly this

I despair of the low standards in evidence on this thread.

And specifically I'm referring to this

Honestly it’s so far beyond me that anyone can turn this one around into HER being out of order.

Maybe she should have thanked him for offering to come over for a pissed up shag after a night with the lads and sat home waiting like a well trained penis pandering handmaiden. Definitely made him breakfast in the morning too. We need to think of the menz and their hurty feelz.

Seriously this place never fails to amaze me with the crumbs some women are not only happy to accept but they judge others for not tolerating the same low effort behaviour

I personally hate it when I get let down with an hour's notice because they've decided there's something else they'd rather do instead.

I do not like being someone else's second fiddle.

I didn’t have any intention of replying. I’ve not replied?

SAME.

I'm with you 100%. Who tells someone 1 hour before they're due to meet that they have another commitment to attend?! Fuck that bin bin bin. You didn't want to reply so you didn't.

Why is it rude? I think women should have strong boundaries when it comes to idiots.

I haven't seen anyone say not to chuck him?

But just because someone is rude to you, doesn't mean you need to be rude back. If anything its high personal standards not to sink to their level.

It doesn't diminish a persons worth to reply to poor treatment.

Not that he didn't deserve the ghosting of course xD

😁

I wouldn’t reply to any of his messages. He sounds like a twat.

'and you need to learn to write things down in a diary so you don't lose your next girlfriend'

I do not like being someone else's second fiddle.

Yep. Also hate situations with people who won’t make firm plans. They’re essentially trying to leave that day/time slot open in case they get a better offer.

This guy tried to do that with me and so a few days before I just said no can’t do that day any longer. I need advance notice and you still can’t make your mind up if you’re free or not . A second time he suddenly invited me out for the following night- clearly someone else had cancelled and I was his second choice.

My train fare to get to the city where we’d meet is £12, not to mention all the effort getting ready for the date. I’m not going to be a filler date for someone who hasn’t prioritised me. I blocked him after that.

There is nothing childlike about it. OP sounds like a mature person not a professional doormat!

🙄