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Original poster

He cancelled a date and is now angry I didn’t reply?

594 replies

Utopiana · 27/05/2024 15:46

Been seeing this man for 2 months ish. We were meant to meet on Saturday at 7pm but I got a message (after I had spent two hours getting ready!!!) at 6 saying “hello, it’s one of my mates birthday tonight sorry I forgot, I will have to show up for a bit, but would be free around 11pm, idk how you feel about that”

I felt like he had a better offer (not the party) and just thought well okay. Went out with my friends instead. No intention of getting into an argument or discussion with the guy.

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

ITS BEEN LESS THAN 2 days.

Was I wrong not to reply to his text? I think any rational person knows someone’s not going to meet them for a meal at 11?

OP posts:
Pherian · 28/05/2024 10:55

I think you were right to trust your gut.

If he was a nice guy and you didn't feel he was telling porkies would you have responded ?

I think you should block him and not give it another thought. I certainly wouldn't entertain another date with him.

Loubilou23 · 28/05/2024 10:56

Can't believe the amount of people saying you should have responded to the first message.

FUCK THAT!

But it does go some way to understanding why I see so many very unhappy women in controlling marriages with little to no respect from their partners.

I hope he is long gone and you haven't bothered replying to his second text.

Gogogo12345 · 28/05/2024 11:08

Yes was rude to total blank the text. No need to meet him at 11pm but just a no thx would do

Mirabai · 28/05/2024 11:09

Gogogo12345 · 28/05/2024 11:08

Yes was rude to total blank the text. No need to meet him at 11pm but just a no thx would do

It was rude to cancel an hour before! What was he expecting?

Peoniesandcats · 28/05/2024 11:09

He could have asked if the plans could change for you both to have a drink/go out with his friends for a bit instead of cancelling the whole night.

Agree you’ve done the right thing, especially with his second follow up message! Not even an apology or trying to make it up to you.

TheDumpling · 28/05/2024 11:09

Babe, dump the idiot fast. He's a motormouth egotist. HE cancels the date basically at the last minute then abuses you when you didn't reply at his command.

Put the rubbish out!

Mirabai · 28/05/2024 11:11

….

He cancelled a date and is now angry I didn’t reply?
SamW98 · 28/05/2024 11:12

Loubilou23 · 28/05/2024 10:56

Can't believe the amount of people saying you should have responded to the first message.

FUCK THAT!

But it does go some way to understanding why I see so many very unhappy women in controlling marriages with little to no respect from their partners.

I hope he is long gone and you haven't bothered replying to his second text.

Agree. And those calling the OP rude! Seriously??

He couldn’t even be arsed to pick up a phone and offer a half decent apology for letting her turn last minute but apparently she’s the one who’s rude and entitled for not pandering to his last minute whim

Fuck that - he’s treated her with zero respect he deserves the same effort in return.

Ohnobackagain · 28/05/2024 11:21

arethereanyleftatall · 27/05/2024 18:54

I've read somewhere and think this is good advice...

Say no to a man early on in your relationship. His reaction will tell you all you need to know.

Definitely good advice @arethereanyleftatall

ChrisPPancake · 28/05/2024 11:27

I'd have replied something along the lines of not wanting to be his booty call and blocked I think.

labracadabras · 28/05/2024 11:31

Utopiana · 27/05/2024 18:43

Where’s the game? I don’t want to speak to him, so I didn’t. Double booking yourself is fine, realising an hour before that you’ve double booked yourself is the behaviour of a teenager.

Show quote history

This and he didn’t even ring to check you got his message did he?

Don’t reply just block

Cantalever · 28/05/2024 11:38

You were quite right OP to ignore his message. The cheek of him trying to educate you on manners and communication, after he let you down with an hour's notice! Its as though he knows he is in the wrong (he is) and is trying to get you to accept blame for BU. Throw him back - just block, no need to text anything after this. There is no good future with a man who does this.

PremiumListing · 28/05/2024 11:43

Sablecat · 28/05/2024 06:41

@DatingDinosaur I bet men treat you really badly.

Most women are just too nice. It was only when I discovered my inner bitch that I became irresistible to lots of men. Before I'd been understanding, caring and just plain stupid while men behaved really badly. One of them actually married their pregnant ex on holiday and just sort of forgot to tell me. (I was not the other woman.)

I remember a dreadful day before my awakening in a small boat fishing with my then beloved and his business partner where there was no loo and I actually pretended to enjoy myself when I wasn't sure if I'd die of seasickness or cold or whether a burst bladder would see me off first. As I was watching a fish being bludgeoned to death in front of me I had an epiphany that this was not how I should be spending my time.

While I was thawing my frozen toes for an hour or two in front of a heater, I pondered my approach to men. So little time, so many men was a good motto I decided. A crude request for a booty call to a bitch wouldn't warrant a reply, let alone replying after she was stood up. Don't waste time on losers.

My mother was the epitome of this. She was gathering more marriage proposals in her fifties than I was in my twenties. I think she was outdoing me by a ratio of at least 3:2. These were good quality financially sound men too. Technically, she wasn't even divorced from my father. She told me she had no intention of ever remarrying as she'd had enough trouble putting up with my father!

I am happily married to a wonderful man who believes he was incredibly luck to persuade me to marry him. And, of course he was! Thirty years in, he still brings me coffee in bed every morning.

I think I love you! Please post more on this!

I’ve had a similar epiphany with similar results, very strange counter intuitive reactions to an aloof yet just out for a lark and a laugh attitude.

Nousernameforme · 28/05/2024 11:49

I would reply with a breezy
"There's no need to be so upset, I thought I had replied, look I don't think this is going to work I need something with a bit less drama. Thanks though"
And block

madameparis · 28/05/2024 11:53

His second message is outrageous! 🤯

Thank the heavens that you didn’t respond to the first message. You got a clear look at exactly what an entitled, misogynistic, controlling narc he is.

Had you replied to his first message you could still be dating this twat for a few more months/years before discovering the real him.

stardust777 · 28/05/2024 12:05

I'd reply: "The last few days have shown me that we're not on the same page. We're done. I wish you all the best."

Then, I'd block him.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 28/05/2024 12:19

DatingDinosaur · 27/05/2024 18:34

He could have been telling the truth and it was a genuine mistake that he forgot until the last minute.

Your comment about him wasting your time (like he did it on purpose) makes you sound entitled. Or really jaded with the dating game.

Show quote history

Then he should have made a proper offer like a date on a different night not an 11pm booty call when he'd blown her off. It's not entitled to think this behaviour isn't ok. I guess you're so naive you think he wanted to come around for a deep and meaningful chat at 11pm after being out on the piss.

Original poster
Utopiana · 28/05/2024 12:41

A flood of “normal” messages now coming through with memes, jokes etc. blocked now

OP posts:
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 28/05/2024 12:43

Utopiana · 28/05/2024 12:41

A flood of “normal” messages now coming through with memes, jokes etc. blocked now

Oh right. Has he said 'I was only joking,' yet? 🙄

bibop · 28/05/2024 12:45

Utopiana · 28/05/2024 12:41

A flood of “normal” messages now coming through with memes, jokes etc. blocked now

Good for you, Utopiana.

What a dick.

BurntBroccoli · 28/05/2024 12:46

Dump immediately!

TheAlternativeIsWorse · 28/05/2024 12:48

Whilst what he did was wrong, it was also rude of you not to reply (whether positively or negatively)!

SamW98 · 28/05/2024 12:48

I’d still be tempted to reply 👍

But you’re definitely doing best thing for you to ignore. Hes a prick

AlinaSquareQueen · 28/05/2024 12:50

Utopiana · 28/05/2024 12:41

A flood of “normal” messages now coming through with memes, jokes etc. blocked now

Ugh. Too little, too fucking late.

What a lowlife specimen he is.

You were right to block.

WaltzingWaters · 28/05/2024 12:50

Glad you’ve blocked him. Keep it that way.

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