My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

@Mountaindewstar if you’re sure the screenshot etc is real you could reply to his ‘missing you’ text with the screenshot saying ‘missing me so much you’re looking elsewhere, well now you will be missing me permanently’ or something like that. Grrr. Annoyed on your behalf!

I agree with all of the advice about being very factual , calm , unemotional ... I've got to know him alot over these months and I know this would hurt him more.
He told me he was ghosted last year and it really hurt him and took him a while to get over... now I'm wondering what she actually found 🤷‍♀️ 😂 whatever i txt i wont be sending until and hour after due to meet him on Friday night anyway.
It will be a simple msg , but show him i know what hes been up to.
I will keep this thread updated , thanks all xx

Also extremely proud of myself for not sending him and ranting and raving msgs! 😂

This has just happened to someone I know too. He is working away.

I am a bit older than her, she told me first before saying anything to him. I said, I bet he will come out with the line 'oh I just on for a friend' or some such nonsense.

Of course as times have changed a bit, when she did confront him, I sort of called it. His reply "oh I must have been hacked".

Yeah right dude. Of course you have been hacked using your recent photo and proper name, one not only ONE site, but TWO!

They had been together for almost 2 years.

Of course he is still claiming innocence. I cannot roll my eyes back far enough.

Sorry you are going through this too OP. I can see that this has affected my friend really badly, she says she feels like it has been such a gut punch, and why didn't he just break up with her if he is not happy.

They just want to have their cake and eat it. I am glad that you are standing firm and telling him to swing his hook. He does not deserve you!

Amazing. How did it go in the end, and how are you doing now? 🤗

What do you think OP is asking? She said right up there in the OP that he was dumped.

I like this one!

Are you 100% sure it’s him as I read an article in the Times where a woman’s profile pic was stolen multiple times for fake profiles. I think I’d have to somehow check without him knowing like getting your friend to message?!

What awful behaviour. I'm glad you haven't texted him yet.

So many people going through this utter shite. I'm sorry this happened to you OP.

This sounds like a good plan.

And of course you were loyal to him. You are a great person.

Some women would have turned their anger onto the friend. I still haven’t told my sister that some years ago I bumped into her partner In the street. He didn’t recognise me and when he did said I looked great. The friend he was with took me aside and said that my sis dp had said he was going to ask me out until he realised who I was. I have never told my sis because she constantly rages at me and accuses me of criticising her relationship when I have never said a word!

So good for you. And good luck!

If you want a good thread to read OP, I am hoping someone can link Runningintherain's truly amazing thread. (I haven't worked out how to link yet)

The circumstances are a bit different, but this is proof of how keeping your powder dry can be so powerful.

Have your friend meet up for an expensive meal, all the trimmings, then run off to the bathroom and leave.

She gets a free meal, he's out of pocket, you prove his infidelity, win win :)

text - funny story for you …..
text - <<include screenshot>> The End

then block

Well done. Keep your powder dry. Looking forward to the update 😀

I agree with the person who said send him a message saying he's crap in bed. Then a few days later send him the dating site screen shot. The crap in bed message will put the doubts in his head that it's true and hopefully he'll never be able to get rid of said thoughts. And that will serve the scumbag right.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. If you’re in any doubt his profile is genuine, could you create a fake profile and message him on the dating app ? See what comes back and if he bites, there’s undeniable evidence.

Just ghost him.

That friend is no friend IMHO.

This happened to me a few years ago but thankfully not after I’d wasted too many months on him. I was dating someone and thought it was going really well. A friend then saw him on a dating site and that he was active. I sent him a screenshot and at first he denied it and said it was an old profile but when I pointed out that some of his pics were in his new house, that he’d moved to during our relationship, he went completely silent and I never heard from him again!
Be prepared for denials and be prepared for knowing what you will do if he does deny it - liars can be extremely convincing! Like PPs have said, might be good to get unequivocal evidence that it’s him and he’s active as I am sure he will deny it.

Whyever not? She’s saved OP from continuing a relationship with a cheating bastard!

I know folk are trying to be funny but these attempts at witty, cutting, cryptic, double crossing, etc are piss weak.

OP, you have nothing to be embarrassed about now but if you send something about halitosis or cock size or set up a lot of fake profiles you will cringe in a few weeks.

He's been caught looking around for alternatives. Seriously or not you don't know but it's enough to show he doesn't respect or revere you as you deserve.

Let him know he's been seen, you're out and there's nothing to discuss. A screenshot will do. If you want to add something, fine, but please ignore advice to make it about something it's not. What's the point? It's actually quite puzzling people think this way. He's looking around anyway so I'm sorry but won't be 'driven mad' by a polite vague text or a ghosting. He will get a nasty plunging stomach feeling upon realisation he has been busted though.

Why, what was she meant to do? If be thanking her

I wouldn't message him an hour before meeting. I'd do it an hour after - leave the bastard sitting in a restaurant like a plonker then when he messages to see where you are send him the screenshot and block.

I was internet dating and a girl rang me as id had a date with a guy who she was buying a house with! They were in a serious relationship..

Absolutely. I'd be FURIOUS if a supposed mate allowed me to continue in what I thought was an exclusive relationship with a shag-about nob head.

Good people don't allow their mates to get the the piss ripped out of them like that.