My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

Get your friend to set a date up and you's both turn up to meet him

I'm actually delighted to hear you're going for dinner, it'll be a lovely distraction, and meeting your sister and friends after is perfect. Handling this like a boss x

You could send him this thread just so he knows how many people think he's a total knob head then block lol

I'd text him to say you're running a bit late and send your friend to meet him instead

I'm really pleased you've got a good night planned. Enjoy yourself.

You are doing great @Mountaindewstar Enjoy your date tonight. As you say, the guy you are seeing knows the full situation, so it’s all good and much better than sitting at home thinking about where the slimball’s wait is up to.

Definitely just ghost this loser. He doesn’t deserve one iota more of your energy. Disappear from his life and leave him the one wondering why.

Turn up with your friend, then go and have a few with your friend.

Seconded. Have a good evening.

Ghost him. No explanation warranted or deserved.

I hope he is sat waiting now 😆😆😆 wondering why he is ghosted… again

He should have been there for half an hour. Mug. Have a great night OP x

OMG I remember that post one Easter !!

Hope you're having a brilliant time, OP! Lord knows you deserve it! Please update us when you can ☺️

What do you want to achieve? Because you're going down the wrong path if you want to make him as angry and hurt as you are right now.

You've been duped and you feel like you've been made to look ridiculous.

So has every other woman he's targetted - whether they know it or not.

But on the incredibly bright side - you found out. You'll probably work out how he managed to dupe you - did you meet his family and colleagues and friends?

But you're never going to be able to end his callous treatment of women.

Nor I suspect will you be so easily taken in again.

So you need to take it as learning curve.

In what ways did he earn your trust by appearing to "respect you" and be "concerned about your well-being". In what ways did he put himself out for you over those 11 months? And in what ways did you show concern for his well-being and put yourself out for him?

You'd be better off meeting someone through work or a social activity group - because let's face it dating sites are predominantly used as shagging sites. See someone, fancy them, have sex in a very short space of time without anyone getting to know or respect anyone.

Fuck off.

Pls do update us OP, when you have the chance

Enjoy dinner! If you get married to mr nice guy this will be the best thread eveeeeer
x

Commenting mainly so I don't miss an update - but hope your date goes well and shows a bit of promise for the future.

With all due respect some very shady advice here :(
Ghosting him - no, you are not a child, also don't assume he will take it as a sign he did something wrong and you are taking a high road. He will have absolutely zero clue what happened and will not beat himself about it because he is already on dating sites having fun. He will just think you are the unstable and the immature one and actually soon be grateful you are out of his hair. I am yet to hear a story about someone being an ass and having a capacity to do some self reflection - never happened.

Sending your friend/colleague on a date with him. Again - no. You are not in a netflix chick flic. You are giving her a free pass to go on a date with your boyfriend. Even if 99.9 percent of her motivation to tell you about him liking her pic came from good intentions, there is still a tiny matter of biology - so you can be absolutely sure she was still flattered and could absolutely not help herself to feel just a tiny bit of gloating. So, unless you are ready accept they may actually really click and then you will have to look at their photos on her social media like she did yours - at least don't be a total floormat and actually set them up for a date.

The guy is not good news, so yes to taking action. But telling him what happened and why it's over is the only mature and foolproof way forward. Just know your worth and stay proud. Good luck.

Invested.... hope the plan is going well OP. Toilet update required!

We’re all with you OP. Keep us posted!!

Man this really puts me off internet dating. 11 months doesn’t sound long to some but that’s long enough to get attached to someone and have a future built in your head. What a nob