My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

Meet him for dinner, take a print out of his profile , ask a waiter to serve it to him on a plate, stand up, loudly declare "That's a picture from your profile on a dating app where you recently liked my friends profile; in case you didn't know. I can't say it was a nice 11 months. The clit sits between the legs, not off to the side."

....and walk away.

I hope you are having a fabulous time. I also hope you blocked the aholes number!

Some of these suggestions are just wild. It’s not a movie. Honestly every time a guy has done me dirty the one thing I have wished is that I left the situation with dignity, baring in mind I haven’t really 😂 when the dust has settled that is often what most people wish they did.

Just leaving him on read or not even picking up his msgs or calls would be the best way to go. Although I’d be worried he may request a welfare check. 11 months is a relationship. So messed. God I don’t even know what the best thing to do is.

Yes this happened to someone and it destroyed his marriage. It might have been covered on bbc as they were covering fake profiles and social media scams etc.

The wife divorced him believing the fake dating profile and then a couple of years later realised his innocence. When she tried to resolve things it was too late, he was so offended that she didn't trust his innocence and they couldn't reconcile. They had a kid too.

So, point is.. if he's given you no reason to doubt in the past, confront him face to face and check body language and reactions. From there, you'll know what to do - your gut will tell you.

Best of luck.

But forgive me, from what OP is saying he was punching so guessing he’s not much of a looker. Most times those situations happen with someone worth wanting to be does it not?

Hope your having a fun evening OP you deserve it!
What you choose to do about tosspot face is up to you and how you feel best. He doesn't deserve any tears! Reframe it as a lucky escape rather then several years down the line (which has happened to friends of mine unfortunately)

I also imagine if he wanted to move it to WhatsApp with her friend she may have confirmed his number and all sorts of more information so most likely is him.

I seriously think some guys on dating apps get addicted to them and if on them long enough never really come off they always go back or have it in the background for just an ego boost if not even to mess around. Sad world we live in.

I’d just ghost him. Don’t have any time for that kind of nonsense.
be thankful for good friends who are prepared for difficult conversations

I can’t believe how invested I am in this thread!

I hope you had a good evening.

Enjoy your evening OP! And so what if it’s all a bit ‘chaotic ’ as people have said… that’s break ups for you! An emotional rollercoaster… you don’t need permission off of a bunch of strangers to go and enjoy yourself and deal with your emotions however you see fit right now! And be kind to yourself tomorrow… it’s going to hurt! Lots of self care and nice people around you to get through the aftermath this weekend! Also just because he is on dating websites, doesn’t mean anyone has wanted to jump on his disco stick! Fingers crossed for your STI tests…. Men don’t get laid as much as we all believe… because us women usually take a bit more time to get warmed up. So hopefully this means you’ll be safe. But you’re absolutely doing the right thing being checked!!

Your post appears to suggest that the OP is in some way culpable for what's happened, and what happens next. She's not. She's dumped the bastard now.

The OP doesn't want to achieve anything except getting rid of him. It isn't the OP's responsibility to try and change his behaviour to stop his 'callous treatment of women'.

Most people have a reasonable level of trust in someone they have been dating for many months, and normal relationships are based on it. The OP doesn't need any advice about how to find someone else, because she already has. And not via a dating site.

Any update 🤣

So invested 😂 Please update us when you can. Hope you’re having a good night!

Awww OP, I don’t get why some people are giving you grief on this.

Fuck the bastard!!! Go out have fun, enjoy urself amongst the genuine people you have right now. He can kick rocks, so many suggestions on what to say after standing him up(which he totally deserves btw!!!), just remember to also keep it classy. Clink clink 🥂🥃🥃🍸🍸🍹🍹💐💐💐💐!!!

Classy is always the best way.

20+ years ago I had been with a guy for 10/11 months, he finished with me the day I found out I was pregnant with his twins. I hadn’t had a chance to tell him the test was positive let alone know it was twins at that point.

I went cook coo crazy and smashed up his car in his work carpark 🤦🏼‍♀️.

Even writing this now I laugh at how deranged I was.

The same thing happened to me a few years ago. In fact it happened to me twice! First time I sent screenshots & blocked him. The second guy I completely ghosted. I couldn't even be arsed to say anything.
Anyway, I hope you're OK & this evening takes your mind off things... even if it's only for a few hours xx

Go to the dinner. Order the most expensive crap, say your celebrating, it's a surprise, then say your popping to the bathroom and leave.

Send him the screenshot and simply write enjoy the champagne with your latest catch

I feel like I should be much more grown up, but well, he hasn't been 🙈

But isn't it better each girlfriend in turn finds out he's a cheater? If you give him the heads up he will simply be more discreet.

Enjoy your evening. You were honest about your situation so your ‘date’ tonight is aware. So sorry the idiot you have been dating was not the man you thought he was - sounds like you will be better off!

Hope you have had a fab time on your date

You should tell him you’re really sorry but you’ve met someone… off a dating site. Say, it was only supposed to be meaningless fun but things got serious and you’ve fallen in love. Haha that’ll brain him 😂

Hope you’ve had a lovely evening, and didn’t let him down gently! X

He didn’t believe me, said I was just saying it to get back at him for moving on with someone new, I had early scans due to some bleeding around about 8 weeks, that confirmed there was 2 babies, I made him come to the scan so he couldn’t keep saying it was all a lie.

Sadly we lost them at 16 weeks, and all he could say was “I take it that’s my fault for all the stress I put you under”.

Men!!