My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

I think you've been really mature in this situation op. You could of gone nuts but you've kept your cool. Understandable if you had though. But I would want closure for myself. I would send the screenshot with a wtf... Then go out with this guy to take your mind of it all, you'll only be thinking it over and it won't change anything. I know people can be scammed etc but it doesn't sound like it from what you've said. You're hurt but in time you'll realise you deserve so much better.
Go enjoy yourself tonight, turn phone off and let him twist himself up in knots.

Yes. I couldn't NOT let him know why, and he's bound to turn up or contact you somehow, even if you block him everywhere, at least for his stuff. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if his previous girlfriend 'ghosted' him after finding out about him being on dating sights, so he continues, not knowing that's why, and repeated it with you. So he'll do what he did to you to another girl. He NEEDS to know that you know he's been cheating.

Playing devils advocate here, I would have still gone away and given him the benefit of the doubt. People steal profiles and photos all the time, even on FB. I would have sat down at dinner and questioned if he was still on the dating website, then when he says no, turn the phone around and ask what this is all about then. At least you would know by his response face to face if he's lying or not.

I wouldn’t even contact him, just don’t turn up. That way he won’t be able to take a friend or make alternative plans. Much more disappointing.

He is texting her. Even if the profile was fake - unlikely - he is messaging her.

Nah.

if this was a Netflix true crime it would turn out that it was all an elaborate manipulation by the best friend.

You are an icon of break ups OP. Have a fucking fabulous night!!

Please do this

Because that doesn’t scream desperate bullshit.

He is an absolute scumbag!!

I love what your plan is.. however, please have people around you after because the come down of it maybe leave you vulnerable. Lots of self care...

You'd run the risk of making a clown of yourself OP

OP, wow you've had such a variety of responses.
From what you've explained, you don't "owe" any decency to the chap that has behaved (to put it mildly) so badly.
I believe that you've been upfront and honest with this dinner date chap tonight, he's happy to still see you on a friends basis, so yes... go out, have fun and forget about the scumbag chap that doesn't deserve your time, energy, emotions or the beautiful relationship he's squandered with you.
You need (tonight) to be with people who like you, love you, are happy to support you....
You chat away to your sis', your friends and flush out the poison that's been given to you.
I pray that your upcoming tests show nothing to worry over...
YOU have done nothing wrong, and you did not deserve to have your life (temporarily) messed around like it has.
Thank heavens for the friend tha alerted you to his shenanigans.....
Big hugs

This 👆 It’s horrific. When the anger fades a bit, you’re bound to feel upset. I’m really sorry you have been treated like this 💐

What a crappy situation! If you have a dinner planned then you should still go. Dress to the 9s and be the absolute beaut that you are.. laugh and joke and order the most expensive things on the menu, food and wine. Order dessert then pop to the bathroom but really just leave. As a leaving gift print of the screenshot of the dating site pop it in an envelope and get the waiter/waitress to pass it to him along with the bill 😀
Then obviously block the git!

Oh damn! Have I misread?
I thought you were having dinner tonight with the non scumbag...

Send screenshot
Block his ass
Delete his number
Keep it moving

You deserve better

OP, do you and your friend have any pictures together of you both?
Get her to add him on WhatsApp, then mid conversation get her to change her WhatsApp photo to you both at the same time you message him telling him it’s over 😆

Ooh.. Nearly time.

How you feeling OP?

These things always feel harder the closer they get as the feelings hit

The distraction is exactly what you need and wish you the best for the evening

Have a lovely evening.

I’d be inclined to message your ex later, to tell him the woman he’s been messaging for ‘lots of fun’ is actually a friend of yours. End it with goodbye, I’ll send your stuff on.

That way you aren’t going to be worried about him turning up at any point tonight or tomorrow.

What a shit he is! 😡

I hope your evening with friends goes okay. Have you much planned over the weekend? You'll probably dip tomorrow and feel sad etc. take care op.

The EastEnders 'doof doof' ending to this would be the friend strolling into the restaurant where the boyfriend is waiting, and saying 'Ben sweetheart, I've been asked to tell you it's over...shall we have a drink?' 😎

Depends on how much you want to watch him squirm. Either:

Get your friend to arrange a meet, then bump into your friend "accidentally". Or

Wait until he's waiting for you on your date, then send him the screenshot with a simple "blocked" message.