Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

987 replies

Mountaindewstar · 22/05/2024 22:17

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

OP posts:
PossumintheHouse · 24/05/2024 16:11

Mountaindewstar · 24/05/2024 15:58

Hey all, a little update
So everything is going to plan he has msg me today asking what time were meeting and we have arranged for 7pm at local bar we go to from time to time.
He has continued to msg my friend although shes been a lot quieter with him, hes ramped it up stating "I'm wanting lots of fun... let's move this over to what's app) 🙄 ...
So in the meantime shes been screenshotting everything sending it straight to me.
As the day goes on I'm getting serious butterflies, I almost cannot wait for him to be stood up now after reading what hes been writing to her and what hes been writing to me and there are probably other, let's face it!
For those of you that have Read the whole thread, you would have read about the man that asked me out & I rejected him as I was being loyal to my so called boyfriend 🙈 little did I know.
Anyway weve been messaging, he knows the full story , I've been really honest about my situation. Hes offered to take me for dinner at a really nice place this evening to take my mind off things, as I know him, mutual friends and works with my uncle i feel i can trust him a little.
My sister and friend have both said just go for it! It will be the best distraction ever! So I've just had my nails done, friend is doing my hair for me , chosen an outfit, hes booked the restaurant for 7.30 pm , I'm gonna go for it, my sisters dropping me and picking me up.
So while mr slimball is sat waiting for me i will be sat with this date enjoying myself and not at home sad.
After dinner I'm going to my friends for wine and to tell her all about the date 😊

Edited

As fairy tale-sounding as this is, is it really fair on the other guy? Do you genuinely like him?

Based on your current updates, I'd be sending the 'Leaving now' text followed by the many, many screenshots without any comment attached to them.

taylorswift1989 · 24/05/2024 16:12

Mountaindewstar · 24/05/2024 13:15

"Leaving now " this is great as its exactly what I would txt.... but this time I'll mean leaving the relationship now, great!

Show quote history

That would be a brilliant final text. Then never say anything to him ever again.

Opentooffers · 24/05/2024 16:13

Great, poetic justice for him, who knows, this guy could turn out to be an improvement. Take it slow though, it's possible that, given he knows the story, he knows that you might be vulnerable and be using that to his advantage. He seems keen to be a saviour and get entwined in the situation. A decent fella would give you time to process and get over it, rather than steaming in there. If he moves too fast, it's a bad sign. Just enjoy being sociable with him for now. Remember to put your phone on silent before your date, you don't need the disruption.

lto2019 · 24/05/2024 16:14

It's good you're not going to sit at home upset but at some point allow yourself to be upset and process - you were invested. The fact he has turned out to be a twat is on him. Your friend could ask for the whatsapp number so if there is any doubt - (I haven't read every single message ) it is him - then you will know for certain.
Have a lovely evening tonight.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 24/05/2024 16:15

I'd send an identical msg with your friend, at the same time.
Hi slimeball (slimball), we have both decided dating/having fun with a cheat isn't our cup of tea. Bye. Then block.

Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 24/05/2024 16:16

PossumintheHouse · 24/05/2024 16:11

As fairy tale-sounding as this is, is it really fair on the other guy? Do you genuinely like him?

Based on your current updates, I'd be sending the 'Leaving now' text followed by the many, many screenshots without any comment attached to them.

Show quote history

Its very fair on the guy as he knows the whole story. Hes a grown adult who can make decisions for himself. I've stated I want nothing but friendship at this point and yeh I do like him, I only said no to him before as I had a boyfriend

OP posts:
drusth · 24/05/2024 16:18

PossumintheHouse · 24/05/2024 16:11

As fairy tale-sounding as this is, is it really fair on the other guy? Do you genuinely like him?

Based on your current updates, I'd be sending the 'Leaving now' text followed by the many, many screenshots without any comment attached to them.

Show quote history

I agree, this fairy-tale sounding hastily arranged date sounds like a disaster.

Will you at least go dutch?

Planesmistakenforstars · 24/05/2024 16:18

Opentooffers · 24/05/2024 16:13

Great, poetic justice for him, who knows, this guy could turn out to be an improvement. Take it slow though, it's possible that, given he knows the story, he knows that you might be vulnerable and be using that to his advantage. He seems keen to be a saviour and get entwined in the situation. A decent fella would give you time to process and get over it, rather than steaming in there. If he moves too fast, it's a bad sign. Just enjoy being sociable with him for now. Remember to put your phone on silent before your date, you don't need the disruption.

This with bells on. It will absolutely have crossed his mind that he'll be getting sex tonight to get back at your ex

BirthdayRainbow · 24/05/2024 16:18

How wonderful to see a woman know her worth and a man be a supportive friend. Have a lovely dinner.

lobsterkiller · 24/05/2024 16:19

I like the "I'm leaving now." message.

Whatever you decide to do make sure it's right for you and not for anyone's entertainment purposes. Also take good care of yourself as the adrenaline going through you at the minute will cease and you may crash a bit. Take your time and remember this is his failings and nothing about you.

Sunnyandsilly · 24/05/2024 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Elphamouche · 24/05/2024 16:30

Well done to you for getting yourself ready for a lovely evening. You’ve been open and honest with this other guy, go and try and enjoy yourself!

TreesWelliesKnees · 24/05/2024 16:30

Well done OP! And to your friend too. I hope you have a great night. I'm also here for the update tonight!

theholesinmyapologies · 24/05/2024 16:31

I hope your date goes well, OP.

As for the cheating arsehole, I hope he sits there alone for ages until it dawns on him that he's been caught out.

Dadjoke007 · 24/05/2024 16:35

Mountaindewstar · 24/05/2024 16:16

Its very fair on the guy as he knows the whole story. Hes a grown adult who can make decisions for himself. I've stated I want nothing but friendship at this point and yeh I do like him, I only said no to him before as I had a boyfriend

Show quote history

Dont listen to the negative comments here - sounds like a great night planned with a nice bloke who you know. It may just be friends, it may lead to more, who knows and who cares. As long as you are both honest about the situation (and you have been) then go for it and have the best night!!!

Fraaahnces · 24/05/2024 16:40

@Mountaindewstar I love this for you! Please let us know how the date goes! (And the fallout from Mr Shitballs.)

Sauvblanctime · 24/05/2024 16:41

Girllll I am loving this for you! Get it on with Mr Nice Dude and leave Mr Slimeball to it 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Guiltypleasures001 · 24/05/2024 16:41

Send him the screen shot with just one word under it
Awkward 😬

HappyGoLuckyLuLu · 24/05/2024 16:46

Onwards & upwards my lovely

Southern68 · 24/05/2024 16:47

Have a lovely time with your guy friend, and leave Mr cantkeepitinhispants to stew.

IncompleteSenten · 24/05/2024 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Well I would imagine the point of this is she thinks it might make her feel better.

Freeme31 · 24/05/2024 16:57

Go and enjoy you meal out with your new. guy friend you deserve it. The "slimy" ex boyfriend will find karma will catch up with him, you have really dodged a bullet there. Have fun !

Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 24/05/2024 17:13

Planesmistakenforstars · 24/05/2024 16:18

This with bells on. It will absolutely have crossed his mind that he'll be getting sex tonight to get back at your ex

Show quote history

He knows he wont be getting sex tonight as my sister is picking me up at 9 pm from a public place

OP posts:
butterpuffed · 24/05/2024 17:20

You have gone from being hurt , gutted and heartbroken to over excited , revenge planning and having a new date in 48 hours . I don't think it's hit you yet , it all seems odd .

MsLuxLisbon · 24/05/2024 17:22

drusth · 24/05/2024 16:18

I agree, this fairy-tale sounding hastily arranged date sounds like a disaster.

Will you at least go dutch?

Show quote history

This is your take away from this!? Jesus Christ.

Swipe left for the next trending thread