My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

Just read your last update OP: I don’t think that leaves any uncertainty

I’m really sorry you’ve been treated this way, no one deserves that. It was brave of your friend to tell you and I’m sure you will meet someone much better in time

Even with this new info, I’d just ghost. The chicks before dicks thing is too much drama and gives him too much information. Just let him think you’re on your way to your weekend away, don’t turn up and leave him on read.

OP I’m completely on your side but please don’t hashtag chicks before dicks 😭

Yep, chicks before dicks sounds quite juvenile. Just block and move on, he obviously doesn’t care enough.

Just ghost him is still the best advice. The whole photoshoot and hashtag thing is giving him way too much attention and validation. Why go to so much effort for him? He'll think it's funny, and even if he doesn't, it gives him a way to turn it all into a joke.

Just don't turn up to your date, block him (or just leave him on read forever) and put your energy into finding someone better.

I quite line the chicks before dicks but if you want to be more classy just go out with your friend. Post a tonne of pics and then do the belongings on the doorstep good luck for the future thing

That's cool. Don't text or call just leave his stuff

He will
See
The
Pics and work it out.

🤣🤣🤣 we keep changing our minds not hash tagging chicks before dicks... weve both been in hysterics this evening though and throwing things out there.
Not turning up to our date will happen tomorrow evening about an hour of him trying to call / msg me I'll post a photo just saying having a lovely girls night.

I think a photo of us out together is enough, he will see her with me , her name and realise. Then I can leave his last msg on read, his calls unanswered and block

When I was very young I went clubbing with my
Best friend are her new man and his mate

When my
Friend was in the loo her
Bloke was already
Snogging some random girl

My friend wanted to confront him but I said no. Don't give him the time of day.

We went back to the car. I was driving and dumped their coats in the sparking space and left

He Turned up at her
Place Fuming but she didn't let him in.

It was fabulous

I am actually very hurt tonight, hes gone that step further. Hes just so vile. Msging us both at the same time, theres probably loads hes messaging, a total fuck boy as my mate said. When you actually see msgs from your boyfriend ( as he still believes he is) to your friend it's almost unbelievable but it has given me so much closure . Sad man.

Honestly I would want him to have to go through the inevitable questioning of whether you rejected him purely because he wasn't good enough I think you'd be giving all your power away to let him know you know

I'm sorry. He's just a pathetic liar and isn't worth your time. I do think that the most proud, dignified thing you can do is text him "Our relationship is over, please don't contact me again" and leave it at that. No need to elaborate

However you decide to end it, you're well shot of him. Sorry you're going through this, it sucks, but I love how strong you are and that you're not questioning it or willing to hear any excuses. That's really great to see!

(Deleted after reading more of the thread)

OP already updated that he has begun chatting with her friend and information he is sharing is lining up both in the chat and on the profile that is true of him in real life (not a made up persona).

I would take a screen shot of some of the messages he has sent to your friend, and put it as my WhatsApp status overnight.

And block tomorrow morning without saying a thing.

Thats funny

@Smineusername@wintersgold you know what the more time is going on and the more scummy stuff he is revealing about himself is making me agree with this more.
I think I'm just gonna stand him up for our date
Msg him informing him that I no longer want to continue being in the relationship, for me it's over
Then just block and move on with my life , forget the friend pic , I dont need to prove I have a good friend or that I am out having fun to anyone. Let him wonder , yeh your right I'm not giving my power away x

Yes, as I noticed from an OP post on the same page as my comment when it loaded, hence why I quickly deleted it. But not quickly enough! 🙏

Agree. It’d do far more damage (mentally) to him to just to go no-com. He’d be forever uncertain why. He’ll think - Has something happened to you? Does she know? Has she found someone else?!? Is she breaking up with me?

The OP will play it as she see's fit, but it'll only be a momentary shock to him. It’ll provide closure - he’s been rumbled, "c'est la vie. Oh, well. Better get back on the dating sites again”.

I think this is classy. And if he responds by trying to hook up with your friend, she can reply, “Sorry, I’m not looking for someone who’s disrespecting his girlfriend… or should I say, ex-girlfriend.”

He can put two and two together.

You are being so strong, I'm so sorry to hear what has happened but you'll take a lot less time healing from this in the way you're handling it! You go!!

Just maybe, if his ghosting story was true, and it did upset him, he has handed you the way to deal with it for maximum effect. Act normal till the meet, don't be there, go out with your mate. Have a laugh at his expense, at the wonderment texts he'll send, without replying, then block and unfriend. This may well explain why he was ghosted before, he just left out his own part in it. Another misdemeanor, deserves another ghosting, and it would drive him nuts to always wonder. I think no explanation is the most effective way of twisting the knife in, and its no more than he deserves.

I can well imagine that you feel sore.
Long term silence will give you the most power, despite the temptation to respond.
He will be the one to wonder, have to explain to his family/friens why you vanished.
By you not giving him the courtesy of any contact/explanation, you show him just how completely unimportant and unworthy he is.
Stand him up and leave him on unread.

I love the idea of BOTH you and your friend putting photos of you together as your Bumble/Hinge/Whatever profile pics. (And your everything else profiles).
If you want to say anything to him. Do so after you have put the photo up.
Just say “Really….?”
or “Yeah……. naaah.”
I also rather like this one:
🔬🍆🥱🥱🥱

He doesn’t deserve a second more of your time or thoughts. In this instance, I would say nothing at all anymore - just ghost him. He’s going to wonder wtf is going on? Just let him sit & wonder for the rest of his life.