My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

Thank you xx

If he asks for his stuff back I'm going to say I'll send it in the post ... no reason to see his weasel face again

I just wanna say you're an amazing woman don't ever let a loser like him make you think otherwise. You have handled this so well and in such a classy way. It's exactly what I would of done.

I wish you all the best and I know it won't be easy, you will have sad times but always remember you deserved better.

Just dump him, send a text like

Hi (name), I've been doing a lot of thinking about our relationship, and I think we should break up, you're not the person I thought you were and I deserve better. I wish you the best

when we asks you to elaborate which he will because you'll bruise his ego by dumping him. Just send him the screen shot. Done.

you'll have the pleasure of knowing you dumped him and he'll know he's caught, sorted. Then block and move on

I second this

Don’t waste the cost of postage. Dump it outside your house in bin bags and tell him he’s got til X date to collect otherwise it’ll go down tip.

My emotions have cut off from this worm.
If that was true you would have ended it already. You're taking delight in attempting to ruin his plans as revenge. Makes for a good drawn out MN thread though aye?

I was always taught to never react to anything big for 24 hours, it stops you looking silly. I needed time to process. I understand that your trying to goad me for your own personal reasons however it wont work. But thank you for your input. I'm finding all of the replies really valuable and reminding me how amazing us women are, onwards and upwards 😘

What happens though, if you send the screen shot and a version of "fuck off bastard" and you don't get any reply? Won't that be frustrating in itself and more humiliating, as if he doesn't care?

I would just not ever contact him again. He'll figure it out and you're not left hanging expecting an apology or some other response that might not appear.

Yes I agree , I've thought about this too. Which is why I think I'll end and block and not show the screenshot so he hasnt a clue where it has all come from

And so what? 🤷🏼‍♀️ you give and you get. ‘Ruining his plans’ for a weekend isn’t going to kill the idiot.

OP, what can you do this weekend to make yourself feel good?! Spa, nice takeaway, nails done??

If you block isn’t there the chance he’ll go to your home.

So I'm thinking something like this:

I know
I've seen the evidence
The trust has gone
It is over
Take care of the dog hes lovely shame about his owner
Goodbye

Good point however I dont think he would ever do this as I have a 20 year old son that's alot bigger than him and he wont want to face him 😄

@Mountaindewstar in therapy we say , your first response is a emotional response
It's good you have waited and processed your thoughts before reacting

Thank you xx

I just found out my boyfriend if 4 years have been cheating on me with 3 other women for over 18 months. He currently gf reached out to tell me she knew of me only recently and of another woman. When I confronted him about it he said he was only friends with these ‘lame ducks’ because they needed a shoulder to cry on. He then says they’re still only friends but yes he does have sex with them. My boyfriend is 52 and a doctor. We are all quite a bit younger at 38,35 and 47. He has two teenage kids who have all seen him rotating us in turn in front of his family and none of them have said a word for so long. To make it worse his current partner who recently left him is a police officer. She’s been told about his recreational drug use and sex parties which i unaware of. I knew he was invited to one but I asked him not to attend it yet he still did for ‘ the experience. I’m trying to move on. But what a dilema. He’s a medical doctor and a GP who takes drugs most weekends. Should we report him to the medical council or leave dogs lie? To be honest I don’t want to stoop that low but do we have a duty of care to report him in case he puts patient safety at risk?
any thoughts welcome

I know
I've seen the evidence
The trust has gone
It is over
Take care of the dog hes lovely shame about his owner
Goodbye

I think you can do better than that, there have been some good suggestions earlier on the thread.

😄 I'm just throwing ideas around

Yuck. What a revolting man.

You will get more responses if you start your own thread, as posters will tend to just reply to the OP on this one.

Personally I would go for clear and factual.leaving no room for him paint me as a ghoster/the bad guy etc.

"I have been made aware of your current and active profile on a dating site. I understand you have also been trying to match with women. This is such a violation of our relationship and I am furious and hurt that you wouldn't end things with me before doing this. Do not contact me again. Attach screenshot."

Personally I'd message sooner rather than later, break it off, and get myself on a dating site and get a date for Friday night and move on.

A really good one night stand did wonders for me once.

Agree, this is classy.

I would just send the screenshot with the rolled eyeball emoji.

Sometimes saying nothing is worth a thousand words.

But block him so he can't reply and you don't have to deal with the "oh, that's an old profile I forgot to remove" or the "I've been hacked" bullshit.

I'd message and say:

"Given that you clearly want to have your cake and eat it, never truly considered us "exclusive" and think it's acceptable to have deceived me for the past 11 months, you can take the plans that we had made for this weekend and fulfill them with some other unsuspecting mug on (insert dating site here)".

Then just block and delete :)