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Original poster

Husbands friendship group are cheaters

396 replies

Sunseasand1 · 16/05/2024 10:51

My husband has come back from a weekend away with friends and family last month, where one of the group ended up having an affair, which resulted in the end of his longstanding marriage, and a second friend cheated. None of this information was offered by my husband, who said he was trying to protect them.
I am certain my husband was faithful.
Problem being they are planning another weekend away with the group of girls they met, one of whom is now the new gf of his family member.
My husband is now the only member of the group with a wife, and doesn’t want to miss the weekend away with his family members, one of whom lives abroad. But surely I’m right to be worried and upset about this.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 20/05/2024 11:59

No way!!!! Don’t be a mug.

MsNeis · 20/05/2024 12:01

I find this whole situation to be very creepy... 🙄

Propertyshmoperty · 20/05/2024 12:02

DaisyChain505 · 16/05/2024 11:07

If it’s a mixed group trip why aren’t you invited?

This is basically the long and short of it for me. If it was just a lads weekend then fair enough but they're going with girlfriends then you should be included.

People are saying if you trust your husband then you have nothing to worry about, but quite frankly my husband would never go on a mixed holiday like this without inviting me and that's one of the reasons I love and trust him so much.

As for saying they're 2 sets of friends and you'd be the odd one out, bollocks, it's not school. Your husband should be getting you involved and making introductions. I'd be incredibly hurt in your position OP and I bet he wouldn't bloody like it if the tables were turned.

WaltzingWaters · 20/05/2024 12:04

I’m certainly not the jealous type and usually pretty cool with things but this is a huge no. The fact that he even wants to go on a holiday without his wife but instead with a group of single and/or cheating friends and a bunch of 20yo ladies is enough for me to question, whether he ends up cheating or not.

Suggest a lovely holiday together instead. If he doesn’t want to, I’d be very upset and considering my options.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 20/05/2024 12:07

So his friend is going with his girlfriend. Whether or not it’s the two group of friends meeting up is irrelevant. His friend’s partner is going so it’s VERY disrespectful not to invite you. I’d be really upset if he went.

crockofshite · 20/05/2024 12:07

your husband is going to be a third wheel at this get together if the others are bringing their latest floozies.

How much fun does he think he's going to have with the boyz if they're canoodling with their girlies and he's going to be billy no mates without a squeeze?

He should be encouraging the boys to leave the girls behind, or go on a break with them and leave him out of it.

Emeraldsrock · 20/05/2024 12:16

He has either got it on with one of the girls, is eyeing up one of the girls or is hopeful there will be someone for him.
It’s bizarre and and you need to have it out with him. It’s so disrespectful to you. I can’t get my head around it.

ThrillhouseVanHouten · 20/05/2024 12:16

Sunseasand1 · 16/05/2024 14:11

Girls are mid 20s. The lads around 40. 🙄

Show quote history

What in the midlife crisis is this nonsense?

Cattihorocks · 20/05/2024 12:17

I wouldn't put up with it get rid of him he isent worth it !

Gettingbysomehow · 20/05/2024 12:19

Your H is taking the piss in plain site. Id be furious.

Erdinger · 20/05/2024 12:21

crockofshite · 20/05/2024 12:07

your husband is going to be a third wheel at this get together if the others are bringing their latest floozies.

How much fun does he think he's going to have with the boyz if they're canoodling with their girlies and he's going to be billy no mates without a squeeze?

He should be encouraging the boys to leave the girls behind, or go on a break with them and leave him out of it.

I don’t think OH husband is going to be a third wheel though . He’s possibly got one of the “ girls” lined up. He’s definitely not intending to be lonely. This is seriously one of the most sexist posts ever

Misscash1378064485 · 20/05/2024 12:21

Nope

WearyAuldWumman · 20/05/2024 12:22

Sunseasand1 · 16/05/2024 11:13

It’s a group of lads (close family and long term friends), going away with the group of girls they met on their last trip away (one of whom is now the new gf of the group since he left his wife for her).

There's no reason why you shouldn't go too.

crockofshite · 20/05/2024 12:28

Erdinger · 20/05/2024 12:21

I don’t think OH husband is going to be a third wheel though . He’s possibly got one of the “ girls” lined up. He’s definitely not intending to be lonely. This is seriously one of the most sexist posts ever

Show quote history

He agree he might have someone lined up, wouldn't be at all surprised. OP doesn't think so though.

Waspwine · 20/05/2024 12:30

you need to be realistic here. This is not a lads holiday. It’s lads and their new partners and you’ve not been invited (whether you’re friends with them isn’t the point).

why is your husband

  1. Happy to go away with his mates and their partners without you 2)calling it a lads holiday which it isnt

its got nothing to do with whether you’d think he’d cheat. If you’re happy him going on holiday with mates and the women his mates recently met/cheated with then thats fine as you’re not answerable to anyone.

it wouldn’t be something I’d be comfortable with and to be honest, if my husband was, I’d be questioning the relationship and my own standards, not those of his clearly ejit mates and his equally ejit reasoning for their next gaudy holiday as those standards are clear and have already been communicated to you…it’s your move next.

MildredSauce · 20/05/2024 12:40

@Sunseasand1 how did you find out about what went on during last holiday if your DH didnt tell you?

Bunnycat101 · 20/05/2024 12:47

No way. Your husband has a problem (and by extension so do you) if he can’t see the terrible optics of a 40 year old leaving his wife at home to go on a mini break with a random bunch of 20 year old women.

TheIranianYoghurtIsNotTheIssueHere · 20/05/2024 12:49

Hmm, you may want to have a quick look in the mirror and check "mug" isn't written across your forehead...

Iloveblink182 · 20/05/2024 12:51

Absolutely not. I’d be going as well or he wouldn’t be going at all. It’s not controlling, it’s establishing your boundaries.

AnnetteKurtan · 20/05/2024 12:57

He didn’t offer this information. He obviously sees no issue with this behaviour and wants to keep the company of these idiots with no morals.

you’re right to be asking yourself why

beatrix1234 · 20/05/2024 13:01

Bunnycat101 · 20/05/2024 12:47

No way. Your husband has a problem (and by extension so do you) if he can’t see the terrible optics of a 40 year old leaving his wife at home to go on a mini break with a random bunch of 20 year old women.

Very immature yes, and a tad creepy. He obviously doesn’t see his wife as someone he can have “real fun” with. I wonder how he would feel if OP went on party holiday with her girlfriends, two of them bringing their much younger boyfriends (the ones they had dumped their husbands for while she covered for them) and told hubby “he was not invited”.

🤣

Starlight1979 · 20/05/2024 13:05

Propertyshmoperty · 20/05/2024 12:02

This is basically the long and short of it for me. If it was just a lads weekend then fair enough but they're going with girlfriends then you should be included.

People are saying if you trust your husband then you have nothing to worry about, but quite frankly my husband would never go on a mixed holiday like this without inviting me and that's one of the reasons I love and trust him so much.

As for saying they're 2 sets of friends and you'd be the odd one out, bollocks, it's not school. Your husband should be getting you involved and making introductions. I'd be incredibly hurt in your position OP and I bet he wouldn't bloody like it if the tables were turned.

Show quote history

@Propertyshmoperty

People are saying if you trust your husband then you have nothing to worry about, but quite frankly my husband would never go on a mixed holiday like this without inviting me and that's one of the reasons I love and trust him so much.

To be fair I don't think anyone on this thread has said OP has got nothing to worry about!!!

Rabbitrabbits · 20/05/2024 13:25

Can you imagine your husband being okay with the situation in reverse?

Why don’t you book a holiday with the now single ex wives for next month? Then tell your husband you are off to Ibiza, Greece, Turkey with the single ladies. They might be single but whilst they are shagging their holiday romances you will be getting an early night with a cup of cocoa. Bet he will have a lot to say about it. Then go back and meet the chaps again in summer.

He hangs about with cheaters. He covers for cheaters. He is accepting of their behaviour. He is clearly telling you exactly who he is - listen.

If he’s not shagging about I’ll be surprised.

You are judging him by your standards. Bet if you book a holiday with single ladies he will object as he is judging you by his!

MrsSunshine2b · 20/05/2024 13:46

Rabbitrabbits · 20/05/2024 13:25

Can you imagine your husband being okay with the situation in reverse?

Why don’t you book a holiday with the now single ex wives for next month? Then tell your husband you are off to Ibiza, Greece, Turkey with the single ladies. They might be single but whilst they are shagging their holiday romances you will be getting an early night with a cup of cocoa. Bet he will have a lot to say about it. Then go back and meet the chaps again in summer.

He hangs about with cheaters. He covers for cheaters. He is accepting of their behaviour. He is clearly telling you exactly who he is - listen.

If he’s not shagging about I’ll be surprised.

You are judging him by your standards. Bet if you book a holiday with single ladies he will object as he is judging you by his!

Don't forget to find a group of men in their 20s to come along!

Conniebygaslight · 20/05/2024 14:04

Sunseasand1 · 16/05/2024 11:13

It’s a group of lads (close family and long term friends), going away with the group of girls they met on their last trip away (one of whom is now the new gf of the group since he left his wife for her).

So if in the middle of this there is a couple...why aren't you going?