I am the child in this situation.
The difference being the man that abused us in exactly the same way as yours is my father.
Fast forward ten years of therapy and so much fall out that I can’t even begin to detail. I haven’t spoken at all to my father in years. I see my mother once or twice a year alone. She choose him over us, and allowed the abuse to continue and I have never been able to get past it.
My children were not allowed anywhere near my father after his behaviour deteriorated around them, now they are adults they can’t stand him. They don’t wish to have much of a relationship with my mother either - they hold her responsible for staying with him.
My mother is now a shell of herself with a wicked man that has continued his disgusting behaviour into old age. She is vulnerable and frail now as an old person but she stlll can’t see it.
She lost all of her friends as no one could be around his volatility
He continues to cancel everything she looks forward to. he enjoys her misery.
She is has an empty life without her grandchildren, family or friends to enjoy. But she continues to choose him, and so it’s become a life sentence none of us wish to share.
Get out now and never look back. It won’t get any easier than now, call women’s aid for support. Before you lose absolutely everything including your own life potentially - yes it’s that serious.