Daughter sleeping around

[SarahBeez]

Help please. My 16 year old daughter I think is well brought up, we love her lots and she gets lots of attention as we do dance with her every weekend. We openly talk about sex and contraception but she never admits to much.

she’s in a group of friends and she’s having casual relationships (which always ends with her cheating on them!) and has had sex with 5 boys already that I know of. Most just one night.

shes getting a reputation and every time she does it there’s repercussions (ie her friends all fall out with her as it’s someone’s boyfriend, or they hate her for what she did to a boyfriend or people say she’s a slag etc she and I find this v stressful) it’s never a quiet thing. Sometimes she’s drunk sometimes she’s not. She’s 17 in June.

im starting to dislike her and I’ve said some really nasty stuff myself as I can’t stop her! we know all the parents and know they all talk. She’s bringing shame on the family. How do I stop her??

Sadly it's as old as time and will never change . Some people will also make up vicious lies about women too about their so called promiscuity . I had this done to me when I was being sexually harassed in the workplace so it justified the pervs behaviour, "well she's a slag anyway "

No advice but I hope a bit of comfort …

Mates DD with late diagnosed ASD and anxiety has given her parents the most awful runaround for three years or more with sex, poor behaviour, drinking (I don’t know about drugs). And her mum is a TA in a secondary special ed unit so she had all sorts of advice and help on hand. They were so frightened for her. She went through at least three schools.

Anyway, this year she has cobbled together enough sense to get into uni and, last I heard, has come to her senses and is doing well enough.

But, goodness, she put her parents through hell first. I wish you the best.

That will have the opposite effect to her learning to value herself I fear.

So the boys are buying the alcohol and she then has sex with them. That is making her vulnerable and they are taking advantage of her

@YourFunShaker

No the "Slags" were not predominantly from single mother households ! That just social stereotyping . Had the same from guys who thought because I came from a rough council estate that I was going to be "easy " they soon got told their fortune .

@YourFunShaker 🙄🙄

Symptoms that may seem the same as those attributed to ADHD can easily be symptoms of past trauma, abuse, or on going stress.

I wouldn’t want my son to be a sex addict like, for example, Russell Brandt, or behave as he does either. He was taken to a prostitute at a young age by his own father which he says threw him into this trajectory.

Think of what Earl Spence said about his abuse at school age 12 from a female housekeeper. His next step was a prostitute and a not happy approach to sex. He said the ‘nod, nod, wink’ about when he was 12 was completely misplaced.

Who would want their son going from girl to girl always wanting more, never feeling happy? It can be as much a symptom of something wrong in boys as girls - not that I for a moment think boys and girls are sexually and physiologically identical anyway.

Another scenario:
Imagine you had a 16 year old gay son? Would you want his first experiences of sex be of him going to bars having casual sex with random, possibly predatory men, who couldn’t care less about him? I would not want that if I had a gay son. I would not think ‘look at my son he’s getting lots of sex isn’t that great’.

,

Would the same concerns be raised if she was a boy?

I’d probably had sex with as many boys at 16, (40 something now) but l was no wild child in other ways. That said l didn’t fall out with friends. I’d say her hormones are bubbling, give her time and respect and you’ll alk come out smiling from this.

Some people are affected more than others. I'm a diagnosed dyspraxic yet have a hgv license and have previously driven around city centres in rush hour no problem. Other dyspraxic people struggle to pass their car test after like 10+ attempts.

I don't think having sex at 16 is that bad. Like, isn't that the average age of losing your virginity? The issue is the frequency and the fact she's shagging her mates partners.

In France the age of consent is 15yo I believe.

'Bringing shame on the family' 🤮 poor girl.

And if she were a boy? Would you pass the same awful judgement?

Tbf, I think it would be a bit embarrassing for a parent if their daughter was shagging all her friends sons in a small village. Like five in one night. I think I'd feel a bit embarrassed even if I knew there were underlying problems.

The OP's daughter is highly unlikely to spend the rest of her life in that insular, gossiping, backbiting little village.

What a load of sexist shite.

@TypeFace I can't believe your posts and I hope you don't have daughters.

This. Women and girls do not need male role models who are sexist.

Those who proclaim such a misogynist male point of view about women are wrong, wrong, wrong. You do not need to be in a “proper relationship” to enjoy sex. You need to be with someone where the trust and belief that the equality of the sexes is mutual.

Perfectly reasonable what I said . The girl isn't listening to her mother is she ? Whats wrong with some male wisdom ?

@UnpickThePockets

What's your solution then ?

@StarlightLady

Well look where casual sex has got her .

😂🤣😅

A reputation? That is seriously old fashioned.