Teacher favouring one child in class all the time! My kid is upset!

[regretnot]

Teacher of reception age kids is favouring one particular boy all the time! It’s very obvious too, he’s in every photo, he’s always got loads of stickers, winning, in top sets, a definite golden child.

my son is similar in ability and paired with him in certain situations ..

behaviour and character wise they are different! My son is a strong character, bright, takes no fool and is slow to warm.. the other kid is what I would call ‘easy’ temperament, always smiling, easy..

however, lately my son has become upset about going to school.. I think the golden child has been Favoured over him many times and it’s now rubbing off..

he asked me “why is x always chosen and going first and not me?”

What do I do about this??

I don’t want to tell the teacher she is favouriting a child but in the same breath my child is clearly being impacted here..

what would you diplomatically do??

I'll take your word for that then. I've been retired for 10 years.

Yes. No red group, blue group, yellow group anymore, well, not outside reading anyway.

You need to remember that this is a class full of 4/5 year olds. Everything that doesn't benefit them is seen as unfair and that everyone else is favoured over them. It is up to you as his parent to make him understand that he isn't going to be the centre of attention all the time and that other kids deserve some recognition too. I wouldn't be going all guns blazing to a teacher unless you've witnessed blatant favouritism yourself and all you have to go on is the word of your own child

Good.

This is very true. I had a temp working for me once who wasn't very good at the job but he always came in smiling and made everyone a cup of tea and he has done really well in his career since.

Why is it good that children don't get work suited to their ability?

Because the yellow table children always know that they are the cleverest and the blue table children always know that they are the ones who struggle. Then you get ‘my child is in the top set’ posing.

Instead it is differentiation by outcome or support. The teacher knows who is where, what support they need etc but the children don’t.

So they are getting differentiated work?

No. They will all be given the same work but some might get a little more support or be expected to complete less. But they usually aren’t explicitly told that.

Oh dear. You've answered your own question then, haven't you?

Children need to be taught simple rules of society: good manners, politeness, kindness, co-operation and all the rest, and most of all at that young age, doing what the grown-ups ask them to do.

You are doing your dc no favours in encouraging a lack of respect for authority.

I don’t believe in kids being obedient, which the whole school system is based off of let’s face it.. yes sir, no sir, 3 bags full sir!

I would absolutely love to see the OP try to manage a classroom of 30 children of children who had been brought up to 'push back', and on whom no expectation of obedience at school had ever been placed.

Do you actually honestly think that large groups of young children can cooperate and be educated by just being allowed to be their unfettered, spirited selves? Bless you. I reckon you'd last about 3 minutes in that classroom.

The problem is that parents like this can't seem to understand that managing 30 other people's children is not very similar to managing your own one or two.

They do but the way we had to prove this was unnecessary. It is possible for the teacher to respond to each child individually expecting the best from them at an appropriate level without labelling ability groups. My last Head Teacher wanted me to have 3 groups of 10 and do Writing in these groups- so 10 children who barely knew how to hold a pencil sitting round a table together doing the same thing - how productive do you think this was? I had to submit written plans of how targets for each group should be achieved. Not only that but the children had to be made aware of their individual targets and how they could improve - 4 year olds! I had to write on my board Must (everyone must do this), Should (supposedly average level), Could (better) and Could Even .. so anyone walking would know what I was doing. It went against everything I believed in as an experienced Early Tears Teacher.

Prior to this I did planning which reflected different abilities but when we did Writing after a week of related activities and play, I had several children of differing abilities together but spent time talking to each one, encouraging them and seeing what they could do.

I didn't last a term working with this man by the way. If that level of ridiculousness is no longer required (and I'm not 100% sure it ever was) then it is a Good Thing.

You cannot do anything anout the teacher, school, football club... or whatever.
You have to talk to your child and help them to gain confidence and the emotional tools to deal with the situation.
That is how they grow. Not by going into the school to tell the teacher who she needs to choose for what activity.

It's telling that you repackage a nice easygoing person as a 'people pleaser' and presumably your not quite so easygoing child as strong.

Let's face it OP , you are biased and struggle to accept that this other kid is just more pleasant.

It sounds as though your son may be more difficult to deal with.

He is the centre of your universe, but won’t be the teacher’s.🤷‍♀️

My son experienced a similar issue in reception. The teacher favoured girls who were, quiet, obedient, and I know this sounds a little superficial, but the girls were, very girĺy, pretty, and all had long hair, tied up in pretty ribbons. Of course there is nothing wrong in pretty girls with long hair, but she clearly did not take to my chatty, intelligent, and a strong personality. His friend, who was a girl was not one of her favourites, and it really upset her. Her hair ar

Boom

The reason was because they were quiet and obedient, not because of their hair.

If you're a parent of a child who make's teaching difficult, you should be very grateful for the quiet obedient children, because there'd be no teachers left otherwise. The job would just be too shit.