Partner tried to ruin my trip - part 2

[Random100]

Just creating a new thread as the old one has filled up quickly!

So glad you are doing ok.

Well done Op.
Also such a good thread for those entering into relationships. When it's making you unhappy it's time to go, not to dig deep.

Just checking in OP 💐

Glad you are doing OK, you will be feeling wobbly, it's completely normal. Be kind and gentle to yourself, and give yourself time.

Thank goodness it was only 8 months! Phew

Hope you are still doing ok OP. Well done for getting out and breaking free !

Hoping you never hear from him again!!

What's with the checking in?

People on the old thread joining the new thread.

Good for you for staying away. I ‘tried to make it work’ for 3 years so you’ve definitely done the right thing as it only gets worse.

I suspect he is about to lose the mutual friend as well as you when they see the way he reacts to this. I agree with everyone saying check your bag of stuff for a tracker before you take it from the mutual friend's house.

I ve been following with admiration how you have stood strong on this .

He obviously thought you were far more broken down to his will then you were and played his hand too early .

Continue ignoring him and move on

No not living there!

I do think he’s quite flighty and tends to move from drama to drama very quickly.

I haven’t received any direct communication from him since I’ve been back which is good. This silence from him alongside physically being away from him have helped me to see the situation for what it is. I’m so very glad I’m away from him because it feels like a weight off my shoulders and I am relieved.

Definitely a massive weight off!

You've done well to escape OP. I cant believe how much you accepted his awful behaviour, not just against you but against his neighbours too. I might have done the same as you regarding his treatment of you but when you see that behaviour against the neighbours, especially with the police being involved, surely he couldn't minimise that? I don't get that part.

Wow, well done!

You got your stuff, went on holiday, informed the police and stood firm when he attempted to control you.
That’s fantastic! Do not heistate to inform work due to feeling embarrassed (as per your previous thread). He is the one embarrassing himself. You have nothing to be ashamed of!

And I am very glad you have the support of your friend. You have clearly have good instincts and fantastic taste in friends.

I’m not familiar with the freedom program. But psychological support and or therapy might be helpful.

all the best

Thanks for 2nd thread. Glad you’re ok x

I'm another one saying that he could be my ex, too. The similarities are astonishing. I never realised how many vile men (and some women) there were out there when I was younger. I too always assumed it must be me when ex was kicking off.

I wish you well.

exactly, he was awful to his neighbours and actually to everyone. He would try and argue with most people including the police.

Bloody hell OP, I just read your last thread through and he sounds absolutely fucking nuts.

Have you got any way of getting a restraining or protection from harassment order against him?

I hope he doesn’t know where you are staying.

OP how far away from you does he live?

and this is why I love MN. You people are all so lovely and supportive when the chips are down for an OP. (ignoring the idiots)

Stay strong OP!

I find it perplexing that anyone would give such a categorical loser (as this guy) so much as a second thought after that first demonstration of unpleasant behaviour. Quite why you persisted is beyond me (with respect).

Thus I think its very wise @Random100, vital actually, of you to read up/work on your self esteem (and non negotiable boundaries) before venturing anywhere near the dating scene again.

Speaks volumes that his own family don’t have anything to do with him and that he falls out with neighbours too.

Just really hammers home to you, that you were never ever the issue. And I’m glad you see that now!

He’ll never see or accept his lunatic narcissistic behaviour, because he cannot and will not accept that he is anything other than ‘amazing’. That’s the lie he tells himself because the reality of it all, is he’s a seriously insecure little dickweed, that needs someone around him to supply him with attention and make him feel better than he actually is. Thats at the core of all narcissism - insecurity.

You took away his supply and that’s why the rage came out. And that rage comes out everytime he feels there’s a threat to the facade he’s created. Everytime you challenge him or question his behaviour. Every little thing he sees as a perceived slight, that rage comes out.

There’s an excellent clinical psychologist you can watch videos of on YouTube called Dr Ramani, who talks an all about narcissism. I guarantee you’ll recognise many of his behaviours if you watch her videos!

Also checking in. So proud of you OP. 🤗