Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

I know. I’m a stupid idiot

Can I have some advice people? I just feel like this is going to be the rest of my life now!!!

I don't know if he's stringing me along.. playing the long game.. does he have feelings? I have no idea!

I could see him next weekend but also could choose not to.. mixed group kids etc. I really should not go should I? But I want to so much!

He has only said it to me a few times though and I’m not sure he was being serious

About who @namechangeforthis5 ?

@wiggywoowoo seeing them in person is so hard. It's like a javelin through my chest everytime.

He's read my message and not replied despite me asking a question in the message. I'm such an idiot. I hate myself when this happens.

Yeah that's what I was thinking! Normally when I see him it's for like the weekend or something not just a few hours. It was a bit intense when I last saw him, we ended up alone and had a bit of a moment (no kissing or anything) but then he got a bit OTT, got in trouble, went to bed! Last I saw of him.

Just selfishly want to see him but think it will set me back to that 💔 stage!

I hate that I hate being ignored so much! He sounds pretty lazy though if you sometimes just get the badger!

I wonder if he's a bit scared or something? You say he's younger and a bit of a geek? Could he be a bit out of his depth? My guy sounds complete opposite!

Me

OMG what a CUNT!

No no no no, would not put up with that shit. Bin him!

He hasn’t actually said it for ages. The dynamic seems to have changed over time

What was the context?

Yes, he's 8 years younger. A real geek (physics PhD). Not had a long term relationship. I'm older, very assertive and although I have a different job role to him and am not as much as an academic as he is I'm in a position of authority when he sees me as I am a director and run the show so to speak but we have similar qualifications and are both geeky about our shared work. There is the distinct possibility that she is high functioning autistic but not confirmed. He's not much to look at (not bad). It's more the connection but I think I would eat him alive given the chance and I suspect he feels like that too. I dunno.

My colleague thinks he's too dull for me and not interesting at all. She will work in same room as him for 11 hours in a couple of weeks teaching a course with him so she's going to suss him out. He knows she's my best friend and we are very close so not sure how he will feel. There's also another younger very attractive female colleague in there with them too who he's never met before and I'm feeling all kinds of jealousy already.

Haha oh bless you. He sounds an interesting character for you to be hung up on. He'd maybe be crap in bed or a bad kisser??? Focus on that lol

Well his hugs are pretty stiff. Although he once held my face and looked deep into my eyes and apologised for acting like a dick at a work function and it was really lovely and intense. He was rude to me and was deeply sorry and apologised

So do you think be strong and not go to the thing?

Yes, it sounds like you're on the precipice of something. Remind me- what are your relationship statuses?

I mean yes, don't go

Both married, young kids!

Oh gawd. I would stay away. I am married with young kids (3 & 6). I'm a proper grown up and my situationship is a manchild. I don't know what my head is doing. I think it's because I had no libido until I met him but then it came exploding out of my body. He is solely responsible for the return of my sex drive. I have channelled this towards my hubby who is delighted and in a weird way it's improved our relationship. Weird, right?

You have a lot to lose. How are things with DH?

Yeah same really! Are you around 40 mark by any chance? I'm not sure if our hormones are on a 'last chance' drive!

We are all also supposed to be proper grown ups. But probably on the more fucked up end of middle class, fairly wealthy families.

Yes I'm 39. My hormones are going wild. It's like I'm on heat. My husband is very shocked at my huge U-turn sex drive wise. This young weird guy has just turned my life upside down. I don't know why there's such a connection. He's awful I'm so many ways but I cannot be rational at all.

Do you have a friendship with this guys wife?

The thing is that my husband is really attractive. I still really fancy him. I'm wondering whether I need to tell this dude how I feel and see what he says. At least I can ask him to give me space and stop messaging me. I'm 100% sure he'd respect that. He's starting a new job in august which means I will possibly see him a bit more but not much but I expect he'll stop volunteering to work with my team which would be awful as he's such an asset and liked by my whole team and really valuable to what we do. Maybe I should just try and cook off and not make a deal of it and hope it all goes away.

Good to read these messages.

I've been used by a friend, for a few weeks.

No contact from him until he wants sex.

I decided last Saturday not to contact him again. Did a list of pros (3) and cons (about 20) last night.

Of course, no messages or anything from him at all.

Then I messaged him this evening with a question about something he has been looking forward to and something that is happening tomorrow.

No reply.

I need to stop.